Sociological Principles of Expression of Human Sexuality

Subtopic (1): Describe Physiological and Psychological Principles of Human Sexuality 

Description of Concrete Experience: The date 24th June 2014 holds special memories for me. It was my senior year, and I was bustling with hope and expectations. I was finally getting my high school diploma, and I would soon be considered an adult. I was also going to attend prom with my boyfriend whom I had been dating for two months. We had both agreed to wait until prom night. But every chance we got, we kissed and caressed until we were both aroused and ready to break the agreement. We still managed to abstain until the long-awaited prom night finally arrived. After the prom in our hotel room, we decided to make love. It was the most emotionally intense feeling I had ever shared with anyone, and I enjoyed every touch. 

Reflections: We had both enjoyed the sex a lot, but now that was all he wanted to do. No dates, no movies, just sex. I had enjoyed the foreplay most which included kissing and the great touching. What had begun as an intimate bonding experience for me now became a routine. I still enjoyed it, but it was no longer unique. It turned out to be just an occasion to satisfy our physical needs. We even managed to get more creative moves to enjoy the act much more. However, none of this was as significant and special to me as the first time. When. Sex became a natural progression to a relationship and a way to satisfy my partner and me. This is still my position to date. 

Generalizations, Principles, Theories: Looking back, my relationship with my high school boyfriend shaped my mentality about sex. Although we broke up later in life, I still found my most fulfilling sexual encounters within a relationship. I have tried a couple of times to engage in sexual activities with people that not in am in a relationship with and it never feels the same. A significant part of arousal for me is based on some shared nonsexual history and emotional connection. A prior friendship, no matter how brief will guide my body's response to foreplay. I always feel used if this was not how the sex began. It did not matter what kind of relationship developed after. This is not to set any rules of engagement for anyone. Sex means different things to different people. 

Testing and Applications: My first sexual experience may have set the bar a bit high for me. I associate sex with some level of commitment and trust. This may be unrealistic in the world we currently live in. However, I have learned to pick and choose what works for me. This has not always favored me because some relationships had ended before they 'began.' Maybe if I change my approach sometimes, then I can benefit. But in the interest of self-preservation, I still find myself sticking to what I am comfortable with. Does this mean that all my sexual relationships that start well, end well? Not at all. But sex, just like everything else in life is a gamble that must be taken no matter the cost. 

Subtopic (2): Analyze Sociological Principles of Expression of Human Sexuality from the Traditional and Contemporary Context 

Description of Concrete Experience: I grew up in an average family of five. My parents have been married for as long as I have known them and they seemed very happy together. However, I never thought of them as sexual beings until I was much older. They were very conservative about public displays of affection, and apart from the occasional kiss, all I ever saw them do was hold hands. My elder sister had her share of run-ins with my parents because of the frequency of her interactions with her boyfriend. They would make out anywhere and everywhere until my parents banned their relationship. My parents did not approve of premarital sex or publicly displaying your feelings. Many of the people in our local church and general community felt the same way. 

Reflections: This observation of my parents and elder sister taught me how to behave when in a relationship. Unlike my parents, I did not want to have a dull and calm relationship. That was what their relationship looked like. But at the same time, I did not wish to be separated from my boyfriend. The ultimate balance was to find a way to do as we wanted without the chance of a third party interrupting us. During my college years, when I moved from home, I found that things were a lot more different. People were much more liberal about sex. I witnessed public sexual acts that would shock my parents and make my sister and her boyfriend look like children. Public displays of affection were now becoming a normal mode of expression. 

Generalizations, Principles, Theories: My parents taught me though indirectly, that sex is a very private affair. I came to terms with this after I fully understood the implications of reproduction and concluded that they were still sexually active. I also came to believe that every act of a sexual nature must be consensual. I never witnessed any forced activity between close family members or friends. In the context of sexual activity, I concluded that sex was something illicit and secret to be hidden away from other people. It was also not to be discussed openly or with people who were in authority over your life. I also learned that the difference between a regular or casual friendship and a sexual relationship is the presence or absence of physical contact. 

Testing and Applications: All through my college years, I strictly adhered to the traditional forms of self-expression that I had adopted from my family. I was very modest with public displays of affection but very generous with private indulgence. I believed that people would judge me based on how I displayed my sexuality. I did not want to be labeled morally loose, so I held on to this assertion for a long time. Interactions with fellow students and classmates introduced me to alternative methods of sexual expression that were not necessarily offensive to others. I also began to open my mind to previously alien concepts of sexuality that were unheard of before. It was no longer my way or the highway because a lot more ways and highways now existed. 

Subtopic (3): Compare and Contrast the Views of Human Sexuality of two or more Contemporary Cultures 

Description of Concrete Experience: My friends Ashley and Lex are as different as night and day. While I grew in a two parent home, Lex was raised by a strict single mother who rarely interacted with members of the opposite sex. Ashley, on the other hand, started out in a two-parent home, but they are currently divorced. Her dad has since remarried while her mum dates frequently. I frequently visited both their homes because they lived near our college. Ashley picked up her mother's carefree attitude, and most of her relationships were brief, and the sex was casual. Ironically, she did not have sex with the guys she liked. Lex preferred deep, complex relationships that lasted long. His sexual encounters were few and shrouded in mystery. There were rumors that he was sometimes violent during sex but I never got the courage to ask him about it. I continued to enjoy sex within the context of a relationship. I sometimes envied Ashley because I never saw her go through the anguish that followed a breakup. She would move on from one guy to another within days. But I still liked the emotional security that was lacking in casual sex. I tried to change her point of view, but I was never successful. 

Reflections: The sexual expressions that my friends exhibited seemed strange to me at the beginning. I always felt like I was the only one doing the right thing while my friends were lost, hopeless souls. I finally accepted that I couldn't change them, nor was it my place to try to. I was also convinced that their culture and upbringing had defined their behaviors. 

Generalizations, Principles, Theories: Being raised in a Christian home, predisposed me to be a bit judgmental. Though I was no longer actively participating in my faith, I took it upon myself to judge everyone around me. My close friends suffered the most because they were forced to endure my self-righteous comments and judgmental stares. All this while I continued to engage in premarital sex that was also prohibited by my church and family. I soon realized that the world is what it is. I did not have the right to change people's sexual behavior or preferences. 

Testing and Applications: Learning not to judge people based on their context of expressing their sexuality is not easy. The only reason I decided to try it was after I got a taste of my own medicine. I got into a sexual relationship with some guy from a local church. He was excellent until we had sex and he got hugely disappointed because I was not a virgin. He said I had loose morals and then proceeded to break up with me. This was when I felt that the full, weight of sexual judgment that I had previously dispensed without mercy. Now I advise respectfully, but I never impose my beliefs or culture on anyone else. I accept the immense number of views and opinions on human sexuality and I no longer blanketly condemn them as black or white, right or wrong. 

Subtopic (4): Analyze Social Attitudes towards Heterosexual Relationships and Alternative Lifestyles 

Description of Concrete Experience: Most of my adult life, I never considered alternative lifestyles as something normal or abnormal. I had never had the opportunity to see this close until my last year of college. We were then living with a male cousin who was on an exchange program for a few months. He was friendly and smart and always willing to help. So when he introduced to a similar young man as his boyfriend, I was a bit confused. Seeing them together over the next few weeks was both confusing and exciting. They were very similar to heterosexual couples only that they were both males. When my parents found out, they asked him to get help from the church or leave their house. Other people tried to introduce him to sweet girls while others were outright hostile. The general population was of the opinion that my cousin and his partner were lost because they were not in conventional relationships. The only time I had witnessed such animosity before was when a neighbor had introduced two different women as his wives. They were all living together in a cozy bungalow. 

Reflections : My attitude towards my cousin was the same at this time. I did not find anything different in his behavior that would affect the way I felt about him. I was disappointed by the behavior of people whom I loved and respected. I was also proud of how my cousin accepted the unwarranted criticism with the utmost of respect. Personally, I have no sexual attraction to members of my gender. But I also see no problem with people expressing themselves as they please. Nobody should choose or dictate the way another person expresses their sexuality. 

Generalizations, Principles, Theories: This experience with my cousin taught me that people reject what they fear, and they fear what they don't understand. There are two ways to approach social attitudes that are different from ours. We can join the bandwagon of the ignorant and condemn those different from us. Or we can see past the gay or polygamous label and try and embrace the person beneath the name. We are all just people seeking a way to fulfill our needs and those of the ones we love. This is not a blanket invitation to embrace all manner of sexual activity despite its deviance. It is merely a call to be open-minded and to respect those who operate within the confines of law and morality. 

Testing and Applications: Many times during the months we spent dealing with my cousin, I found myself forced to choose between two sides who felt they were both right. I had to apply the same principle to the victims and the attackers. This was because, in the matter of sexuality, we can never agree a hundred percent. The way forward in issues of sexuality as in all the contentious problems is to adopt mutual respect. This was how my cousin managed to finish his exchange program in the midst of extreme turmoil and opposition. I also use the same approach when someone wishes to oppose my life's choices. This works in dealing with everyone from friends, family members, and even religious leaders. 

Subtopic (5): Discuss Contemporary Issues of Men 

Description of Concrete Experience: My very first job was in a children's hospital. One of the most popular nurses among the patients was a young man named Lenny. The children loved his stories and his gentle nature as he attended to them. But with the other male staffers, Lenny was considered queer. There were constant whispers about his pink shirts, perfectly ironed clothes and bold accessories. Lenny bore the brunt of this taunts against his gender. He was always asked why he didn't have a girlfriend or if he was gay and sometimes called a woman. One guy once commented that someone should marry Lenny and make him a housewife. Lenny often had to defend himself and assert his manhood by restating that masculinity was not defined by occupation, the color of clothes worn or the roughness of appearance. 

Reflections: I was neither Lenny's friend nor his tormentor. I stayed silent so that I could play on both sides of the divide. I agreed with some of the sentiments that the bullies held. Clothes are a persons' first presentation to the world so I thought that Lenny would put in some effort to look more manly. But then again I'm not a man so i can't dictate to a man what he should or shouldn't wear. Men are also expected to be provider and protector to their families all while suppressing any emotion that displays weakness. Lenny was considered feminine because he didn't reveal his sexual preferences by approaching anyone at the workplace. This was unlike all the other male counterparts which always made sexual advances towards female members of staff. 

Generalizations, Principles, Theories: Since time immemorial, society has always given men and women defined roles according to their gender. The roles that are expected of either gender have not changed despite the fact that times are continually changing. Though change has been accepted in the workplace by embracing more women in male-dominated fields, men have not been welcomed in the female-dominated industries. That is why the parents of patients continuously mistake Lenny for a doctor instead of a nurse. The same case applies to roles such as childcare and housework. Men who do such work are looked down on by both fellow men and women. 

Testing and Applications : Gender roles will always be present in society. These functions and their perceived place in society create issues that need to be addressed. Because the rules are not applicable in every situation, the problems facing men must be solved by men within each specific case. For example, Lenny should decide if he prefers ridicule to a simple wardrobe change. Choosing clothes with colors of a darker hue may be a simple first step. Sometimes you don't need to change the system only yourself. Furthermore, what you wear does not define what or who you are as a man so adjusting it to avoid criticism will not remove the essence of who you are. I think that this would make his life easier and his time at work more pleasant. 

Subtopic (6): Discuss Contemporary Issues of Women 

Description of Concrete Experience: My late grandmother was the most popular woman I met. She would charm everyone with her delicious cooking and ever spotlessly clean house. She was always smiling even when we dropped by for a surprise visit. Her clothes were always very decent and not an inch of extra flesh was exposed. The best part about her was that she never raised her voice against the men in her life. This began with my grandfather, my father, and even my brother and cousins. Her hair was long and well kept, and you never left her house without a treat. Now my grandmother was the epitome of womanhood. Generations of those who have come after her repeat this statement of praise for anyone who is willing to listen. 

Reflections: The ideal woman is supposed to emulate most of the characteristics that my late grandma possessed. On top of all that, she is supposed to be meek and not sexually aggressive. She should humbly wait for a man to approach her and court her then she can decide whether she is ready to spend the rest of her life serving and honoring him. I loved my grandma, but there is no way I could live my life purely for the comfort of others. The family is paramount, but I believe self is just as vital. 

Generalizations, Principles, Theories: Since the beginning of time, women have always been taxed with bearing the more unpleasant tasks in the family. Women are still the ones to sacrifice for the home, family and especially the children. Women's careers are not as meaningful as the men's. When it comes to morality and proof of womanhood, the woman is expected to be married and bearing children by a certain age. Failure to do so is followed by a whole raft of terrible rumors and insinuations. So the woman must fight to carve out her rightful place in society. Otherwise, she will be stuck pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen forever. 

Testing and Applications : My mother helped me understand at an early age that my grandmother lived in a different time and generation. She made it clear to me that every woman must chart her destiny and find her way in the world. She explained with examples from her own life that it is easy to lose yourself as a woman and instead fit into the mold that society has built for you. However, you must remind yourself every day that there is something more beyond bearing children and cleaning houses.