How I communicate depends on my social identity, which is a sub-total of nature and nurture. Who I am has been determined by a combination of my character, and the environment I have been in. With regard to nature, I was born an African American man and raised in formerly Deep South State of South Carolina, then moved to Maryland during my teenage. With regard to nurturing , I was loved and raised relatively well and also given a chance to have an education. With regard to the environment, being an African American in the South came with many challenges but I was able to overcome them. The combination of the three factors are the building blocks for my current social identity.
From the perspective of racial identity, I identify as a black man, based on my heritage as an African American. My social indent thus combines three basic prerequisites. The first lies in my heritage as an African based on my association with my African American ancestors. The second lies in my association with the country I was born and raised up, the USA. Finally, there are the character traits that came with the way I was treated as I grew up, purely because I was a black man in a white-dominated society.
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When it comes to gender I am a straight man within a community where gender fluidity is gradually having traction. As a black straight man, I was raised to be a provider and to some extent protector for my family. This identity means that every decision I make in life has to involve a consideration of how it will affect those who rely most on me; my wife and two daughters.
I can define my social class as falling within the middle-class segment of the American social strata. I am financially secure and do not have to constantly worry about how to procure basic needs, but my finances to some extent depend on my ability to work and keep earning. I may not be desperate, but I am still not where I would rather be financially .
My definition of success is closely intertwined with my two daughters and the kind of role model that I will be for them. I would want them to know that it is possible for someone to succeed in life while adhering to ethics and being an overall good person. How I live my life is an integral form of communication to the girls. Knowing that they are proud of me and they look up to me as their role model would be my definition of success.
My idea of health takes the perspective of holistic wellness that includes physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness. However, I also believe in a balance to avoid extremism. For example, I would not want to focus so much on health issues, that I forget to live my life, or I deny my family, more so my daughters an opportunity to enjoy their childhoods or future lives.
I have always believed that life is not complete without association and interaction with other people with whom I share a commonality. The commonalities include several factors such as the extended family, neighbors, those I work with, and religious affiliates. I always seek to balance between those closest to me, being my nuclear family and other affiliates. Ability to maintain this balance is my idea of positive community relations.
Based on the cognitive and behavioral theories of communication, who I man, as outlined above determines how I communicate with others. I also appreciate the fact that everyone has an identity and will thus have a similar set of who they are and their expectations. My idea of a mature, competent fashion of communication entails an ability to accommodate the communication identity and expectations of others without compromising my own. My primary impulse in communication tends towards extreme assertiveness but at thirty-seven years, I have come to learn that the fact that I believe am right does not mean that I am . Reasonableness has become my rule of the thumb, though am still working on its full implementation.
