Difference between Assertiveness and Aggressiveness

Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness

Differences prevail between being assertive and being aggressive. For instance, assertive individuals do not intend to hurt anyone. Since individuals do not react appropriately to assertiveness, some individuals consider it as aggression. However, assertive people do not aim at hurting anyone, including themselves. Regrettably, it is not possible to control the way that other individuals react to assertiveness of other persons. Thus, assertiveness might result to hurt feelings despite that not being the intention. For aggression, it is carried out with the goal or hurting others to acquire something from the situation. This is the reverse of assertiveness because it targets hurting others. Another different prevails whereby assertiveness indicates that people speak to the point. Assertive individuals do not fear expressing their points or standing up for themselves, despite the idea that their ideas are not liked. People do not do this with the goal of hurting others. It also does not revolve around the self-preservation idea in mind. It aims at enforcing mutual respect. By contrast, aggression aims at ignoring the feelings or other people or attacking them to favor oneself (Kochut, 2013) .

Furthermore, assertiveness leads individuals to value themselves as equal to others. Assertive people make sure that all individuals are respected, including themselves. It is not an act of selfishness or bullying. Rather, it aims at expressing one’s need to a different party. Aggressiveness is the opposite of this (Sawyer, 2012) . In this perspective, therefore, an example of the different between assertiveness and aggressiveness exists in a situation where I witnessed to people negotiating. The assertive person targeted a fair exchange on the two sides. For the aggressive person, on the other hand, he emphasize on what he would benefit from the situation while might also utilized fear to acquire it.

Passive Aggressive Communication

Passive aggressive communication is not possible to identify initially. It becomes apparent when disconnect prevails between what individuals say and the actions they undertake. Individuals considered as engaging in passive aggressive communication reveal their negative feelings negatively as opposed to disapproving situations to concerned individuals directly. Passive aggressive communication is attributed to tremendous hostility, which mostly results from lack of communication, miscommunication, and assumptions that other individuals understand what they are feeling or thinking (Kochut, 2013) . As an example of passive aggressive behavior, I witnessed a friend making intentional mistakes. Rather than saying “No” to an assigned task, he went ahead to perform it poorly with the hope that he would not be asked to do it again because of substandard work. He would not speak up to say the task was challenging to avoid being perceived as a bad person.

Assertiveness is Unfeminine

From my understanding, feminism is associated with women. Therefore, saying that assertiveness is unfeminine means that women should not portray any traits of assertiveness. For instance, certain situations prevail, which pose challenges for women to emerge as assertive without showing signs of aggressiveness (Sawyer, 2012) . Several popular ideas revolve around where “assertive women” perceive themselves as career women, while they apply all their efforts to ensure they realize success. They are thus regarded as people who are ambitious, hard, and less feminine. The situation can also exist in homes whereby women state their needs and look after family needs. These lead them to be considered as bossy, nagging, and dominating, while all these traits are perceived as unfeminine.

Advice for Assertiveness

In order to become assertive, individuals should practice speaking their minds concerning situations. They should also exercise how to communicate in an effective manner, such speaking up when being assigned certain tasks (Kochut, 2013) . This way, they would be able to avoid frustrations and resentments, deal with any incidences of criticism, and communicate effectively.

References

Kochut, M. A. (2013). Power vs. perception: Ten characteristics of self-empowerment for women. Bloomington: Author House.

Sawyer, A. (2012). The other side of assertiveness: A practical guide for today's woman. Washington, DC: Andrena Sawyer.