Caribbean families take marriage seriously therefore has little incidences of divorce cases. Caribbean's choose their marriage partners, although they still depend on parental approval. Most of them observe Christianity and tend to have church marriages. Men are the heads of their homes, and women are subordinate to them. They live according to the scripture. For instance as Genesis 2:24 states, a man shall leave his father and his mother and join his wife, becoming one flesh. Important to note, 1 Corinthians 7:1-40 states that a man should have sexual relations with a woman. The husband should offer his wife conjugal rights, and the same case should apply to the wife. Both parties should not deprive each other of conjugal rights except through agreement for a short time. The scriptures also state that married people should be prayerful to avoid Satan's temptations for lack of self-control. Hebrews 13: 4 clarifies that the marriage bed should not be defiled and that God will harshly judge adulterous and sexually immoral individuals. Ephesians 5:25 -33 asks husbands to love and submit to their wives, just like Christ loved the church. 1 Corinthians 7:39 teaches Christians that a wife should stick to her husband as long as he is alive, and she is only free to remarry in the event of her husband's death. In Caribbean, most of these laws are observed, but not all. Precisely, this paper identifies ethical problems associated with divorce and remarriage according to the scripture and other sources, presents ethical issues and dilemmas in legal and professional aspects, and reviews biblical recommendations that counselors should use to guide divorcees within the Caribbean.
Ethical Problems with Divorce and Remarriage According to the Scripture
Forgiveness
Through Malachi 2:16, Christians learn that God hates divorce and only permits it in the event of the unfaithfulness of one spouse. However, in the event of any relationship turned bad, God desires that people be repentant as failure to forgive is biblically sinful. In Caribbean marriages, unfaithfulness or abuse may lead to a divorce. In such cases, spouses may find it difficult to forgive each other. However, forgiveness is possible after a long time, and this requires patience from both parties. In the event that one spouse desires to reconcile and the other one is not ready, they are not bound to force their unrepentant partners into mending the relationship. According to Luke 16:18, any man who divorces his wife to marry another commits adultery. Similarly, any man that marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery. In this case, God does not advocate for divorce and considers remarriage a sin in Christianity
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Possibility of Reconciliation
God considers remarriage a sin, and bible teachings advocate that married women should not separate from their husbands. Instead, they should remain unmarried or consider getting back with their husband. Similarly, men should not divorce their wives. This is evident from the gospel of 1 Corinthians 7:10 to 11. Once married, the scriptures dictate that a woman should stick to her husband. She should keep her body holy only for her husband and no other man. Equally, Caribbean men should follow suit because when they got married, the bible clearly stated that only death would separate them from their spouses (Azevedo, Garwood & Pretari, 2019). It is unethical for a woman or man to remarry once their spouses are still alive as they would be going against scripture teachings. In addition, God created marriage for companionship and as a lifetime commitment. Besides, human beings have sexual needs, and divorce only means denying each other conjugal rights, therefore going against bible teachings.
Cutting off the Reunification
It is biblically unethical for a former spouse who is still alive to marry a second spouse instead of considering reconciliation. In the event that the second marriage fails to work, the bible advises against remarriage by the first couple. Deuteronomy 24:1 to 4 states that if a man divorces his first wife and marries another, once his original wife marries another man and dies, the two cannot remarry. It is an abomination before God, and the two will be sinning against the land given to them by God.
God Created Marriage for Multiplication of a Godly Legacy
God created marriage so spouses can multiply and fill the earth. Marriage means creating a home for young children where they grow, learn values and character, and develop integrity virtues. According to Deuteronomy 6:6 to 7, God command spouses to teach children diligently and love them unconditionally. It is unethical for couples to divorce since they will be going against the scripture readings. Divorce means parents' failure to be there for their children who grow up in tough unusual conditions (Tak, 2006). Some children could end up in orphanages as some parents deny responsibility for them. Others could live with well-wishers, some would be raised up by single parents and live with the stigma associated with it. This is against God's commands of multiplying, filling the earth and leaving a Godly legacy.
Ethical Problems with Divorce and Remarriage According to Other Sources
Torture for Children
Divorce and remarriage in Caribbean families causes stress and is usually a highly emotional experience for people involved. For children, especially, their world crumbles as they undergo trauma watching their parents break up and acquire new spouses. They develop a fear of the unknown, especially for new parents that they have to live with (Ackerman & Kane, 2005). They could become angry, uncertain about their future, and shocked at the same time. Some could view themselves as the causes of the sudden changes. Divorce in Caribbean families is unethical as it creates grief and hardship for children who try to understand the sudden changes in their lives.
Presents Vices
Children who grow up in homes with both parents seem to present better outcomes than children rose by single or remarried parents. Children raised up by single parents lack parental love and guidance. Most of them take up vices like using drugs so they forget about their problems at home. Some engage in early sexual behaviors and end up with teenage pregnancies, as they tend to compensate for parental love from their peers (Tak, 2006). Others lose hope in life to the extent of dropping out of school. Therefore, it is unethical for Caribbean parents to divorce or remarry as they destabilize the lives of their children, who struggle to rediscover themselves and deal with the stigma associated with divorce in society.
Leads to Poor Academic Performance
The phase of divorce and remarriage affects children both psychologically and emotionally. They try to understand the spontaneous changes in their lives. The top performers in academic work tend to underperform in their school work due to distraction at home. They place more of their focus on domestic issues than their academics (Ackerman & Kane, 2005). It is unethical for Caribbean parents to divorce or remarries because apart from disrupting their children's normal activities, they interrupt their education.
Increase in Health Problems
Parents divorcing and remarrying can be overly stressful for young children, especially those who are sickly. Azevedo, Garwood & Pretari (2019) state that taking care of a sickler is also stressful to a single parent who needs help from his or her spouse. Besides, people need to get out and work so they can keep the family as well as their lives afloat. It would be fair if both parents were present so they plan how to take care of events at their home. Sickness could result from a lack of sleep thinking of separated parents. It could also result from depression and feelings of loss. Therefore, it is unethical to divorce and remarry as some spouses and children deteriorate health-wise.
Loss of Faith in Marriage and Family Unit
Some situations leading to divorce can be so brutal that children wish they do not experience the same in their adulthood. Some grow up in unstable relationships such that they wonder if marriage means living a restless life. According to Tak (2006), children with divorce experience are more likely to divorce in the future than children who have not experienced a divorce. In most cases, parents are supposed to be role models for their children. It is unethical for them to divorce or act in violent ways leading to divorce, as they set poor examples for their children.
Loss
In the event of remarriage, children are reminded of losing the family they once had. Besides, they feel a loss of attachment with their mother or father as they must not only learn to share them with their new spouse but also with new step-siblings (Azevedo, Garwood & Pretari, 2019). Due to increased attachment with their single parent, it becomes difficult for them to observe their parents display attention to their new spouse. They develop feelings of jealousy. Some of them feel like outsiders seeing their parents starting and embracing new families. It is ethical for parents to reconsider remarriage since they make their children undergo stressful situations.
Feelings
When a parent remarries, children feel they will lose their parent's love. Some make comparisons between their step-parent and their parent. Some could develop
Emerging Trends and Paradigms Leading to Changes in Traditional, Cultural and Christian Ethical Principles
The Decreasing Rate of Divorce
High rates of divorce cases are not a new statistic in the Caribbean. However, it is not because married couples are divorcing, but people no longer value marriage (Ackerman & Kane, 2005). Therefore, this new trend has contributed to fewer cases of divorce.
Women are Happier as Divorcees
In the modern-day, women I the Caribbean initiate the divorce process. When men portray irresponsible behaviors, they would instead file for divorce to obtain custody of their children. Besides, modern Caribbean women are economically dependent and are likely to divorce their spouses if their social circle dictates. Unlike ancient Caribbean women who stayed in abusive marriages for the sake of their children and loyalty to their husbands, today's women seek divorce to be free from abusive relationships.
Age, Religion and Education
A case, for example, is a 25-year-old who believes in siring children after marriage. Such an individual believes that after attaining a college education and securing employment, he can begin a family. Such factors contribute to less chances of divorce in the Caribbean society as people are ready to tackle marriages for a lifetime. According to Ackerman & Kane (2005), such individuals are guided by Christian principles that only death can separate spouses. They believe in forgiveness and giving their spouses second chances every time they experience marital problems. They have also learned to live with the principle that man is to error.
Legal and Professional Aspects of Divorce and Remarriage
Legal Aspects
In the Caribbean, state laws govern divorce cases. In the 1980s, all the states enacted child support guidelines. Some federal legislation also impacts phases of divorce, including the ERISA provisions. They specify the division of qualified retirement accounts and requirements regarding deductions for and maintenance of health insurance for divorced spouses. Such laws totally support divorce cases.
Professional Aspects
Typically, divorce cases in the Caribbean revolve around the division of property, child custody, and support. However, such expectations do not always go according to the plans of divorcing couples (Tak, 2006). It is impossible to determine the winner in divorce cases as one spouse may get primary physical custody of the children. At the same time, the other receives little support than what he or she expected.
Couples should be aware that they are the ones divorcing and not their children. According to psychologists, the more parents fight during divorce, the more they mentally and psychologically affect their children. Therefore, parents should think before speaking or acting in front of their children in the event of a divorce.
Recommendations
Caribbean couples should think of the consequences of their actions before going ahead with their divorce as it is against the scriptures. The bible clearly states that only death should separate couples. As long as they are alive, married people need to stay with each other for companionship and avoid bodily temptations. Developing a culture of forgiveness in marriage is healthy. Through forgiveness of whatever magnitude of crime, couples put the interest of their family first before anything else. In so doing, they give their children a better life and parental love which, when missing, could be detrimental to their future wellbeing. Besides, remarrying when one partner is still alive is fornicating and committing adultery according to bible teachings. Therefore, couples should preserve their bodies for each other and not defile their matrimonial bed. In conclusion, God created man for recreation to fill the earth. Divorce is biblically unethical as God gave parents the role of raising children and loving them unconditionally.
References
Ackerman, M. J., & Kane, A. W. (2005). Psychological experts in divorce actions . Aspen Publishers Online.
Azevedo, A., Garwood, R. W., & Pretari, A. (2019). Bringing about social justice through feminist research for monitoring, evaluation, and learning? A conversation from Oxfam GB. Gender & Development, 27 (3), 485-504.
Tak, Y. C. (2006). The Study of Ethical Issues and Solutions in the Modern Society (Doctoral dissertation, Reformed Theological Seminary).
