Hookups or rather sexual encounters not committed, are increasingly becoming more popular in the modern culture. A wide range of hookup behaviors consists of sexual activities, such as oral sex, kissing and penetrative intercourse based on both changing social and sexual scripts and sexual predilections (Wade, 2017). However, these activities usually take place without any promise of, or desire for a perfect cultural romantic relationship. Contemporary hookup tradition can best be defined as the convergence of several social and evolutionary forces experienced during the period of development among emerging adulthood.
Several representations from the media about sexuality imply the pervasiveness among emerging adults when it comes to sexual hookup cultures. For instance, “Friends with Benefit” movie by Justin Timberlake and Milas Kunis demonstrates permissive sexuality among consumers. The film depicts a relationship of a certain couple which became friends and later turned into a sexual relationship with no expectations and strings attached (Maley, 2011). Research has shown that, a good number of emerging adults cite that they are too busy; being in a relationship is so engaging that they aren’t sure of the extent and depth of their feelings; or that they have already have long-term relationship in other places (Koehler, 2018). Friends with Benefits promotes the idea that individuals can explore and experience of form of framework in which they have knowledge about each other, care for one another and explore their sexuality within a friendship. Today’s world is a very open sexual culture whereby issues of sexual intimacy are not well discussed (Wildfire, 2019). Sex has been depicted by several media representations but this doesn’t necessarily explain that people receive any teachings concerning any understandings about what they expect intimately, sexually and romantically.
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In the movie “Friends with Benefits” the man who is a director at a particular small internet company in California and the woman who is a corporate head hunter based outside New York City demonstrate a hookup. This can be clearly seen when the woman successfully recruits the man to be the new art design coordinator for GQ magazine in New York. At that time he becomes the only person the woman knows in the whole city (Wade, 2017). They soon become great friends, now that both of them had just ended their respective intimate relationships. At that time their emotional commitment is not a necessity. However, their mutual quest for sexual intimacy is prioritized in their respective lists. They both try to keep their relationship as a friendship, but with physical intimacy benefits. In another episode, the couple is seen spending so much time together as great allies and watching romantic films. According to Maley (2011), as they kept on sharing much about their respective romantic relationships in the past, they then realize that at that time they both needed a sexual relationship with no strings and emotions attached. Together they both clear up their minds and agree to try a “friend with benefits” kind of a relationship.
Research has shown that both males and females would prefer to communicate with peers regarding a hypothetical hookup particularly with those of the same gender rather than same sex with cross sex allies. Furthermore, women are more comfortable sharing their relational than their recreational details as compared to their male counterparts, despite the fact that details depends with situational setups (Fessler, 2017). Further research explains that, ritual retellings for women is entirely hinged on gender-based thought patters, but men switch between a relational and a recreational emphasis based on the gender of the one they are conversing with. Therefore, this suggests that men face lesser constraints as compared to women in expectations pertaining to matters of sexual activities. Many findings have shown that sexual intimacy among emerging adolescents is relatively moderate. The act of participating in ritual retelling after the hookup experience is likely a significant manner whereby people involve themselves with the hookup culture. Additionally, emerging adolescent strategies for sharing about their own hookups may explain the manner in which the gender beliefs where they draw on matters pertaining to sexual intimacy vary depending with the gender of whom they are conversing with.
Research explains that sexuality in general is an important aspect when it comes to comprehending gender-based thought patterns, given that there are such powerful gendered perspective regarding men and women as sexual individuals. It is because of this reason that any discussions about an individual’s own hookups gives a specific arena in which to look into possible variations on how gender beliefs are invoked as far as situational circumstances is concerned (Koehler, 2018). Therefore conversational partner’s gender among peers or rather friends has a possibility of creating conversational spaces deemed as clearly less dominated by a particular genders norms on the basis of sexual conduct. Differences in people’s hookup tells based on the situational contexts may show how the particular gendered setup of interactions, affects the gender-based thought that people invoke as they clearly regard themselves as sexual beings (Fessler, 2017). Such kind of differences may also portray that particular gendered contexts may influence gender-based beliefs that people use to in interact in other fields, besides commonly known sexual ones.
There exist many feminists who perceive the hookup culture as liberating and even empowering women, giving them sexual freedom while also being ambitious, independent and career independent. As a matter of fact, the hookup culture has an embedded relationship proofing mechanism. However research has shown that when it comes to the real pleasure acquired from a hookup, the terms are more advantageous to men far more disproportionately than their women counterparts (Wildfire, 2019). This is therefore referred to as “Orgasm gap”. Hookup therefore seems to be there and policed for the strategic positioning of male pleasure to the detriment of women. This is so now that, keeping emotional distance is one of the important levels of hookup (Wildfire, 2019). So much attention on male pleasure can cause coercion, rape and verbal abuse especially when a woman wants to maintain her own boundaries.
Hookup culture can perfectly hide sexual predators in plain sight given that criminal behaviors may appear almost same with the acceptable behaviors. It is very disturbing to see how actively engaging in a culture with its history in misogyny, toxic masculinity, and fraternity hierarchy usually causing degradation and women sexual objection could appear a feminist behavior (Wade, 2017). Hookup culture is unfortunately inherently racist. Despite the fact that the hookup culture was influenced by gay culture, it’s today iteration is as disturbing as oppressively homophobic it was.
Among the piercing elements of the culture is its complete lack of basic human compassion and kindness as a norm. Unfortunately the hookup culture has taken the center stage in the manner in which young individuals form their relationships. The psychological and emotional trauma of hookup culture experienced by individuals later has severed consequences once done with those relationships.
References
Fessler, L. (2017, January 23). A lot of women don't enjoy hookup culture-so why do we force ourselves to participate? Retrieved from https://qz.com/685852/hookup-culture/
Koehler, S. (2018, February 14). The Sociology of Casual Sexual Encounters with Lisa Wade. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-sociology-of-casual-sexual_b_14708518
Maley, D. (2011, July 20). ‘Friends with benefits’ lets couples get close but not too close. Retrieved from https://phys.org/news/2011-07-friends-benefits-couples.html
Wade, L. (2017, January 9). Sociology and the Culture of Sex on Campus. Retrieved from https://www.everydaysociologyblog.com/2017/01/sociology-and-the-culture-of-sex-on-campus.html
Wildfire, J. (2019, March 12). Meaningless Sex? No Such Thing. Retrieved from https:// medium.com/@JessicaLexicus/meaningless-sex-no-such-thing-7de0e271970f
