Lies are common in human interaction. There are reasons that prompt people to lie. For example, someone can lie to avoid making another person feel bad about themselves. In a house, for instance, a husband can lie to the wife that she is well-dressed. He lies to make her rush out of the house to go to the nearby grocery store without consuming much time doing her make-up. Also, somebody can lie to avoid or smoothen a conflict. Words are powerful, according to Florence Scovel Shinn “There is always plenty on man’s pathway; but it can only be brought into manifestation through desire, faith or the spoken word (Thompson, 2012).” Ethically, lying is not right, including the moments it is done for some intended purposes.
Story of What Happened and How it Affected the Relationship
Last year I traveled to another country. Before starting the journey, I contacted my childhood friend, who stays in that nation’s capital city. I intended to see him after a long time of staying away from each other. My friend, Harry, requested me to cancel my hotel booking so that I could stay in his place. He said he had enough accommodation space, it offered us more time to interact, and it was cheaper and safer. He would also help me with directions given it was my first time in that country. I communicated with Harry on my morning of travel, and everything was all right.
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In spite of the confirmation before travel, the events of that day did not proceed as hoped. On arrival, seven hours later, Harry was unreachable. His phone went unanswered several times. I sat, hoping that he will get back to me. After six hours of waiting at the airport, I gave up on him and left the airport premises. I decided to book a hotel. The prices were almost double the regular rates given that the booking was an emergency. I was hurt and very disappointed. However, I still wished that there was a good explanation.
The following day, Harry called and explained the reason for his disappearance. He said that his boss had sent him to work in another town and that he was not available the whole of the previous day. He further indicated that he would still not be in town that day. Harry suggested we meet the following morning. His reason was understandable; however, I still felt that he should have at least answered his phone the previous night. I anticipated meeting him the next day so I could explain this and hopefully fix the strain in our relationship.
That day, I planned to complete my planned tasks without thinking too much about my friend. I dressed up and attended the seminar that initially brought me to that country. On arriving, I saw a familiar face and noticed it was Harry. He was also attending the seminar. He was in the city and did not travel as he said, implying that he had lied about his whereabouts. I felt terrible and wondered what could be the reason for his consistent lies.
That evening after the seminar, Harry came to me and said that he lied because he was scared of meeting me. He narrated a story in the past where we had fallen out, and said he felt bad about how he had handled the situation. Still, I was happy to see Harry, and when I hugged him, his tears rolled. The lies he told offered an opportunity for me to realize there was a problem with our relationship. However, they helped us solve it and move forward. We are good friends. Every time I visit his country, we hang out all the time, and it is magical.
One Thing That Makes Untruthfulness Wrong and Consequentialist Reasoning
Lies can deteriorate the nature of friendships, relations, and other forms of interactions. According to Thompson, using the consequentialist reasoning, “The more lies you tell, of course, the more multiple versions of reality you create and must live with (Thompson, 2012).” Thompson (2012) believes that continuous lying leads to more lies to cover the first ones up. Consequentially, it becomes a routine and leads to mistrust. This perspective could explain why my friend continued to lie to me after failing to come to the airport. Since it explains the wrongness of lies in terms of its consequences, moreover, it uses a consequentialist type of reasoning.
References
Thompson, C. (2012, April). How to Be True to Your Word. Experience Life . Retrieved from https://experiencelife.com/article/how-to-be-true-to-your-word/
