Dear Ms. X,
I share your concern that your brother is only interested in a hot lady and he is disregarding other things you consider important in a relationship such as intelligence, warmth, and friendliness. However, it is important to acknowledge that men and women are attracted to different things when they are looking for a date or someone to be in love with or get married to you. As a lady, it is important to prefer things like warmth and friendliness. At the same time, your brother is not shallow when he said he is looking for a lady who is physically attractive or hot. Unlike women, men give physical attractiveness the top priority when looking for mates. It is not easy for a man to get attracted to a lady who is not attractive. Physical attractiveness is important when a man is searching for a mate, even though factors such as similarities and proximity also influence the decision to enter into a romantic relationship.
For any love to exist there must be some attraction, which can either be physical or personality attraction. Nonetheless, physical attractiveness is more potent than personality attraction, especially in the case of men. Some studies have consistently shown that physical attractiveness is the key determinant in dating as well as intimate relationship process. Physical attractiveness is more important in the early stages of dating that in later stages when the relationship is already mature and can withstand some challenges or weaknesses. Braxton-Davis (2010), argued that physical attractiveness has a substantial impact on both attraction and love. Hence, do not be surprised when your brother insists that he wants a girl who is hot or physically attractive.
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Contrary to the perception of many people, physical attractiveness is more critical in dating or intimate relationship that other traits such as intelligence, warmth, friendliness, personality, and education. Physical attractiveness is important in dating because people always associated pleasing appearance with positive qualities (Horan, 2015). For instance, many people believe that attractive people are happy and loving than their unattractive counterparts. Consequently, some women are using a lot of cosmetics as well as attractive clothing to enhance their physical attractiveness. Women strive to improve their physical attractiveness to attract potential men who are looking for mates. However, the fact that a brother is looking for a beautiful lady does not mean that he is insensitive to other traits like intelligence and friendliness.
Dating a woman who is attractive is important in a relationship, as it long-term stability and happiness between two people in love. In many cases, women age faster than men, and there is a negative relationship between age and physical attractiveness. Unfortunately, men lose attraction to their mates when their beauty fades (Karraker, Sicinski & Moynihan, 2017). As a result, men’s sexual behavior and general satisfaction reduced when a lady’s physical attractiveness diminishes with age. Thus, getting your brother a girl who is physically attractive will ensure that their relationship lasts and they stay happy. Also, the brother will love his girlfriend more when he perceives her to be of high higher mate value than him. People who see loved ones to be of higher mate value are likely to be jealous, forgiving, and compromising (Horan, 2015). It is vital for a man to date a lady who is physically attractive for the relationship to last, and it can result in better communication between partners.
However, apart from physical attractiveness, some techniques can be used for an individual to love one another. The first technique is the homophile principle, which states that people are attracted to similar others (Horan 2015). Many researchers have found that similarity plays an integral role in relationships, as it contributes to love and attraction. Individuals who share similar ideologies have a long-term and happy relationship that those who subscribe to different ideologies. At the same time, people with similar levels of self-esteem are likely to be attracted to one another and enjoy being together (Horan, 2015). Besides, the similarity in attitudinal behavior plays a role in influencing attraction between people. One of the main reasons why similarity leads to the attraction is that individuals value their views and opinion, making them like people who conform to their preferences (Batool & Malik, 2010). The similarity is one of the main factors that determine interpersonal attraction. It is, therefore, important to find a lady who shares some similarities with your brother to make him get attracted to her. The lady may not meet his standards regarding physical attractiveness, but he may end up liking him because they share some similarities.
Similarity can only play an integral role when there is some level of proximity, which is also one of the significant determinants of attractiveness. Similarity leads to liking when there is proximity between potential mates (Batool & Malik, 2010). Proximity gives people the opportunity to explore and understand one another, and it enhances repeated exposure that may result in attraction. Proximity does mean not only physical distance but also close and frequent interaction with one another. Consequently, some studies have found that people who live in the same residential area have a strong interpersonal relationship (Batool & Malik, 2010). Therefore, ensuring that your brother maintains close interaction and closeness to the lady you prefer, making him get attracted to her, which may lead to an intimate relationship. Importantly, they should closely interact with one another both physically and through other means of communication like cell phones or social media platforms.
Nonetheless, the proximity and interaction should not make the brother uncertain. All human beings are always uncomfortable with uncertainty, which reduces attractiveness (Horan, 2015). The main goal of both men and women is to reduce uncertainty, especially during the initial stages of a relationship. People should have some level of certainty when they interact with one another as this improves attractiveness. However, a lot of uncertainty can also be disadvantageous in a relationship. As a result, people should only disclose appropriate information when they are interacting with one another (Farooqi, 2014). It is important for the brother to have a lot of doubts on the lady and the woman should also not be too predictable.
In conclusion, it is normal for a man to repeatedly say that he wants to date an attractive or a hot lady. Men prefer physical attractiveness when looking for mates compared to women who prefer other factors such as warmth and friendliness. Apart from beauty, other factors such as proximity, similarity, and certainty determine the attractiveness. It is important to know and understand what attracts a man and a woman to build a long-term and happy relationship.
References
Batool, S., & Malik, N. I. (2010). Role of Attitude Similarity and Proximity in Interpersonal Attraction among Friends (C 310). Jurnal of Innovation Management and Technology , 1 (2), 2010-0248.
Braxton-Davis, P. (2010). The social psychology of love and attraction. McNair Scholars Journal , 14 (1), 5-11.
Farooqi, S. R. (2014). The construct of relationship quality. Journal of Relationships Research , 5 (2).
Horan, S. M. (2015). Physical/Social Attraction. The International Encyclopedia of Interpersonal Communication , 3(1), 1-4.
Karraker, A., Sicinski, K., & Moynihan, D. (2017). Your face is your fortune: Does adolescent attractiveness predict intimate relationships later in life? The Journals of Gerontology: Series B , 72 (1), 187-199.
