How Women Can Age Gracefully

Subtopic 1: Effects of Gender, Class, and Ethnicity upon the Aging Process 

Description of Concrete Experience 

Tabitha Jones, an African American woman, came to our home to work as a nanny when I was six years old. While having supper on the day she arrived, she thanked my mother for giving her the job and explained that she had searched for a job in ten different places, but all the others turned down her application, stating that she was too old to handle the tasks that the job required. She also told us that she had two sons, in their 40s, who lived in the city and did casual jobs that were not well paid. Her sons had families, and they came to visit once in a while whenever they got time. She noted that she was thrilled by my mother's kindness since unlike other people, she welcomed her warmly despite the fact that she belonged to a minority group. In most cases, she observed that African Americans were discriminated against and it was tough to find jobs, even for the younger individuals. 

Tabitha was 60 years old when she joined us; unlike most women of her age, she seemed healthy and active except that she was a bit slow in completing her tasks, and she often complained of back pains. Tabitha’s primary duties were looking after my 6-month-old baby brother and cooking for us. At first, I found Tabitha quite dull to be around, since unlike our previous nanny, Nancy, who would play with me and she taught me new games, Tabitha did not want to play with me, and she often asked me whether I did not see that she was too old to play with children. Whenever I got angry because she refused to play with me, she always comforted me by telling me that I would have a lot of time to play with my friends at school. 

One day, I needed to skip the rope, and I needed her to hold the rope for me, but she refused to say that she had a backache. I was so angry that I told my mother to find us another nanny who could play with us. Tabitha was disappointed, and I saw her face frown with sadness as she feared that my mother would terminate her services. I am still grateful that my mother did not get us another nanny; instead, she told me that Tabitha was kind to us since she made sure that we were clean, well-fed, and she did not beat us like Nancy, whom she had dismissed for beating us whenever we did wrong. The same week, Tabitha told me that children like me are lucky and we should be grateful to our parents, who work so hard so that we never get to know poverty. 

Despite my young age, Tabitha told me that being a woman, especially a black woman from a poverty-stricken background, is difficult since you have to work very hard to ensure that you can afford necessary items and services. She also told me that it is essential for one to work very hard when they are young to avoid struggling with work when they are old. Tabitha also revealed to me that if her husband was still alive or if her husband had left enough assets before he died, she could not be working; instead, she could be happy living with her grandchildren. From that moment, I became fond of Tabitha, and I always asked her to tell me stories from her childhood, which were fascinating. She always encouraged me to study hard and complete my homework on time, telling me that if I did that, I would get a well-paying job in the future, and I would not grow old poorly. 

Tabitha insisted that African American women who lived in poverty aged faster than those from wealthy backgrounds. She cited her example stating that although her husband was not wealthy, his small business sustained them well; hence she was able to remain stronger, healthier, and younger than most of her African American female friends of her age. She stated that she only started experiencing mild back pains while working at a local hotel as a cleaner, three years after her husband died. Tabitha had requested for an early retirement when she was 50 years old; however, she told us that she was forced to go back to work when her husband fell sick since his illness consumed all their savings and led to the sale of her husband’s business. 

Tabitha was diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure in the fourth year of living with us, but she continued performing her duties well as the conditions were well managed with medication. However, as years went by, her backache worsened, her vision became poor, and her body became too weak to perform most of the chores at home. Tabitha lived with us for eight years, but she left in the 8 th year after her health started deteriorating to live with her eldest son. I was 14 years old when Tabitha left, and her departure made me sad since she had become one of us; we fondly called her granny. To some extent, I thought that my mother was mean to Tabitha for dismissing her, and I thought that since she could have let Tabitha recover at our home. I was too young to understand the struggles that Tabitha was going through, including dealing with widowhood, poor health, and low income. 

Reflections 

I remember my mother asking Tabitha to take a break and sleep whenever she said that she was ill. My mother also offered to take Tabitha to a hospital and pay for her medication whenever she could. When Tabitha was very ill, my mother could get someone to help with the baby and housework. My mother was very understanding towards Tabitha, and I sometimes wondered why she would still pay Tabitha her full salary despite taking care of her medical bills, despite the fact that I loved Tabitha for being a beautiful granny. 

Generalizations, Principles, and Theories 

At my tender age, I did not comprehend why Tabitha’s health was worsening despite seeking medical attention. I expected Tabitha to recover from her ailment, but I just saw her becoming weaker until my mother had to let her go to stay with her son. I was too young to understand that as people age, their health deteriorated; and the deterioration was enhanced by poverty since, with poverty, old people are forced to perform tasks that are unsuitable for their age to earn a living. 

Testing and Application : 

There are times I wondered why Tabitha was working yet she looked older than both my grandmothers. My grandmothers, paternal and maternal, had retired many years before I was born, and they only stayed at their farms and spent most of their time traveling the world. I tried to understand Tabitha’s life by getting closer to her, and the more our bond became stronger, the more I learned that people's lives are different. I learned that poverty contributes to poor health, especially among the aging population. I learned that by applying Tabitha's lessons, including working hard in school, I could prepare myself well for adulthood, and avoid the problems that come with aging, economic insecurity, and poor health. 

Subtopic 2: Economic Realities of Widowhood, Work, and Retirement 

Description of Concrete Experience 

Although I thought I understood the aging process, I realized that there was more to learn to pertain the process from my interaction with Tabitha. At my age, I only considered the process of aging regarding the physical changes that occur in one's body as age progresses. I considered the process as naturally occurring, and I did not think of factors that may lead to a faster aging process. I kept thinking of the time when I almost made Tabitha lose her job because I could not understand why she could not play with us. The thought of an old woman working instead of resting at her home also disturbed me. 

Reflections  

I remembered Tabitha telling us that her husband died when she was 55 years old, and she had no choice but start working since she had bills to take care of and there was no money left after her husband’s illness consumed all the savings and their small business. I also remember Tabitha telling us that her husband was not that rich so he had not accumulated enough assets that could have sustained their old age and efficiently cover their healthcare costs. I understood that my mother realized Tabitha's struggles and considered giving her a job so that she could overcome the challenges that she was going through, particularly meeting her basic needs and health care. 

Generalizations, Principles, Theories 

I realized that the majority of older adults go through similar experiences as Tabitha, including functional impairments and chronic diseases. The conditions require that they get sufficient support from family members since managing such conditions requires constant income. However, managing the complications of old age was more difficult for Tabitha since she was a widow and her two sons were not financially stable to efficiently take care of her. Hence, she had to work to sustain herself, and it is only when she could no longer wok that her son was forced to take care of her. 

Testing and Application 

Tabitha overcame her economic insecurity by searching for a job despite the fact that she had started experiencing health problems. I learned my greatest lesson from Tabitha when she left our home to stay with her son since, at that point, I was able to comprehend most of the things that were happening around me. I wanted to ask my mother why she was mean to Tabitha, but I also learned that she could no longer stay with us since her illness prevented her from working. Further, she needed to stay close to her family, who could take care of her illness and support her financially. I learned that achieving financial stability and accumulating sufficient assets at an early age is crucial to avoid economic insecurity after retirement. Hence, I started focusing more on my studies and concentrating on developing my talents to ensure that I prepared adequately to achieve financial freedom before I could retire. 

Subtopic 3: Problems of Victimization 

Description of Concrete Experience 

By the age of 10, I had already learned from the school environment that black people were different from the whites, mainly about their skin color. However, I had several Black friends, and we played together without any form of discrimination despite the fact that I observed that were physically different. We all studied the same subjects at school, and we were taught to respect our elders irrespective of their background. I expected that after school, all of us would have equal chances in employment since we studied the same subjects and our academic achievements were comparable between the white and black children. 

Reflections  

However, when I examine the experiences that Tabitha shared with us when she first joined us, I realize that racial inequalities and problems of victimization exist in the modern societies. Tabitha noted that she found it difficult to secure a job since she belonged to an ethnic minority group and many considered her too old to handle work. While she worked for us, I learned that the critical reason that hinders most employers from hiring older people is the low productivity. Although Tabitha performed her duties to perfection, she was very slow in completing tasks. Moreover, she missed work on many occasions since she often fell ill especially after she was diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure. 

Generalizations, Principles, Theories 

Problems of victimization are common in the society, and they occur whenever two distinct groups, one considered superior to the other exist. For instance, most black people are considered incompetent at the workplace, which makes them find it challenging to find well-paying jobs. They also find it difficult to get promotions, a factor that contributes to their continued poverty. On the other hand, older people especially those past the retirement age, face extreme challenges when finding jobs, since most employers consider them weak and unable to contribute positively towards the growth of their firms since they lack as much creativity as the younger individuals. Other firms consider them as liabilities since they are at a higher risk of age-related chronic diseases, which are costly to manage. 

Testing and Application 

I have learned that the ethnic minorities are often oppressed, and they are denied equal employment opportunities with their white counterparts. However, despite the stereotype that old people cannot deliver value when working, I found Tabitha very efficient at her work. She ensured that she completed her house chores early and ensured that my brother and I were well taken care of. However, whenever she fell ill, which was on many occasions after she was diagnosed with high blood pressure and diabetes, she became unproductive confirming the stereotype that older people are a liability in the workplace. Hence, I no longer blamed my mother for dismissing Tabitha, as I understood that an employer needed to gain value for the salaries paid. 

Subtopic 4: Role Shifts, Relationships, Sexuality, Living Arrangements 

Description of Concrete Experience 

At the tender age of fourteen, I could tell that Tabitha was lonely because she rarely got to see her family, and the widowhood worsened her loneliness. Further, from the experiences that she always narrated to us, I learnt that her role had shifted from that of a mother and a wife to that of her breadwinner, since before her husband's illness, she depended on him for upkeep, but roles changed when she had to find work to take care of her needs. The living arrangements also changed after her husband’s death, where she stayed alone, and after she left our home, she had to move to her son’s home since she needed someone to take care of her. 

Reflections  

I remember Tabitha telling my mother that she missed her husband so much and that she had never imagined that he would have died that early. I also recall my mother encouraging Tabitha to stay strong despite the challenges, when she narrated to her how they lived comfortably with her husband before he was diagnosed with cancer. 

Generalizations, Principles, Theories 

The death of a partner would bring about many changes in the life of the remaining partner, primarily if the dead partner was the sole breadwinner in the home. On most occasions, the remaining partner has to change many aspects of life to ensure that life goes on; for instance, one has to find a source of income, change the living arrangements, and build new relationships. 

Testing and Application 

Tabitha's experiences taught me the importance of relationships and flexibility since I learned that change in life is inevitable. I learned to live without her around our house and embraced our new nanny, who was equally good. The experiences also taught me the dangers of loneliness and the importance of friends, and I have since embraced making new friends every time I get an opportunity. 

Subtopic 5: Health and Health Care 

Description of Concrete Experience 

While I was blaming my mother for allowing Tabitha to leave our home, my mother had to explain to me the impacts of aging on the body. My mother taught me that as one gets older, their bodies become weaker and susceptible to chronic diseases, which require constant monitoring by health professionals. She also explained that chronically ill individuals are advised not to overwork themselves since doing so would hinder their recovery process. 

Reflections  

I remember during my 10 th birthday, my mother had to take a day off from work to cook for my friends who were attending my party in the evening since Tabitha was taken ill the previous day and spent a night at the hospital. Her health worsened since then, and she started seeking frequent medical care. 

Generalizations, Principles, Theories 

Health deteriorates as people grow older due to the reduced ability to fight diseases in older people. Further, the socioeconomic status of an adult influences the aging process, whereby adults who engage in too much work are likely to have poorer health than those who have adequate time for leisure activities. 

Testing and Application 

From my interactions with Tabitha, I have learned the importance of staying fit and ensuring that I get enough time to rest to avoid such problems as functional limitations that emanate from overworking. I started being active in sports at school to ensure that I remain healthy and fit in my old age, to avoid incurring the substantial costs of getting care to manage such lifestyle disease as diabetes among others. 

Subtopic 6: Compare the Historical Perspective of Today's American Society and New Perspectives on Aging 

Description of Concrete Experience 

From the stories that Tabitha told me regarding her childhood, I learned that in the past, old people did not have access to adequate health care; hence, the majority of people die of health complications that are managed today, allowing people to live to an older age. She also told us that with the modern insurance plans, health care is much cheaper and accessible to almost all people of the different social and economic classes. 

Reflections  

I remember my mother insisting on the need to have a health insurance policy irrespective of whether one is sick or not. I also remember Tabitha telling my mother that were it not for the policy; she could not manage to access healthcare services, which are essential to control her diabetes and high blood pressure. 

Generalizations, Principles, Theories 

In the modern American society, the healthcare sector has sought to improve the well-being of the elderly by establishing new policies that seek to enhance care for the elderly. Better disease management practices that focus on the older have also been established. The new perspectives had played a crucial role in prolonging life for the elderly, unlike in the past when the care for the elderly was less developed, and people died at a much earlier age. 

Testing and Application 

I have learned that although health care for the elderly has significantly improved in the recent years, there is need to put in place measures to ensure the general well-being of the older adults. In addition to providing the aging population with affordable care, they should also have greater access to financial support to relieve them the burden of working past their retirement years.