25 Apr 2022

117

Intimacy and Friendship in the Helping Relationship

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Academic level: College

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Conceivably, the number 3 might be a good number of individuals to have in a relationship for a movie dialogue, however, when focusing on real life situations, this is not recommended. While not an ultimate tenet, most love triangles are established by two women and a man. In this case, two women, Ms. R and Ms. C, seem to be engaged in a complicated relationship with one gentleman. Evidently, the two friends seem to be in love with each other, but upon realizing that they share the love of their life, they are mentally and socially affected (Sternberg, Hojjat & Barnes, 2001).

Harmful effects of such a Relationship

Such like a relationship has a massive impact on all of the parties involved. This type of relationship has been argued to be very confusing. In this case, Ms. R and Ms. C seem to be in love with a particular gentleman. This can be considered as a very intricate dating scenario because the two female friends are in love with a single man. Ms. C, as a case manager in an outpatient clinic, will be significantly affected, and this will influence her performance at work. There might be instances where she might not report to work because of her current situation, which might entangle her in a lot of confusion and anger. Depression might also set in (Sternberg, 2013). Conversely, Ms. R, who had been receiving services from M s. C as a result of her recent divorce, might have herself unnecessarily depressed. Ms. R will stop attending the counseling services offered by Ms. C because their previous relationship will have been affected. 

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Both Ms. C and Ms. R will experience a miserable time because they will feel ignored and will detach themselves emotionally from him, completely avoiding him. The helping relationship will be caught in between, making the appropriate decision without affecting either side (Sternberg, Hojjat & Barnes, 2001). The person in love with the two women, in this case, Ms. C and Ms. R, will wish the best for the two ladies, but this might not be possible. He might be tempted to start picking flaws in either partner and at the same time, may even create false grounds to validate why they both are dishonest. He might want a cause to persuade himself that he is not happy in the current relationship, and that is the only rationale he is engaged with another person. In most instances, such relationship always leaves a cavernous scar that tests the faith of an individual in the relationship and often fails or never regains its former glory.

Social and Emotional Impacts of such a relationship

This type of relationship has been associated with social and emotional impacts. At this point of Ms. C and Ms. R lives, the two women will be pretty insecure, with low self-esteem or compulsive convictions, determined to get whatever it is that they want, and at any cost. The cost of such like a relationship, socially and emotionally, is certainly very high. It might not be easy living in secret, waiting for promises that will never be met, and if they come to fruition, there is always the fear that we may reverse what they have done. This is because, a man who tends to form love triangles can do it again when he returns to being involved in family life (Sternberg, 2013). Being in such a relationship as this is a kind of sabotage. In this occasion, one of the two women will get hurt; somebody always pays a steep emotional price for a love triangle, usually the person being cheated on, but sometimes the backlash also involves the ones doing the cheating. Upon realizing that they are involved in such a complicated relationship, the innocent party first finds out about the cheating and the love triangle, it is like a sucker punch to the gut. 

The emotional shock is painfully extreme, the feelings of hurt, loss, and betrayal come cascading down on the parties involved. It feels like your guts are being ripped out, and the sad part is that none of them can undo it, never go back to the way it was before (Sternberg, Hojjat & Barnes, 2001). This is always the greatest, most personal of emotions, and it can and does change one’s life forever. It hurts enough in private life, but the pain seems magnified a thousand fold. According to Sternberg (2006), we all desire to have a perfect socialization with other people and have a successful relationship, but this will demand significant efforts. It is thus important to clearly understand various factors that might influence the development and maintenance of a fulfilling relationship (Sternberg, 2006). A perfect intimacy might not be readily attained in all relationship, hence the need to develop friendships and social associations all through one’s lifespan. 

Likely outcome of Ms. R’s complaint

Ms. R has filed a complaint with the Regulatory agency in her state about the relationship. If the case had been filed in my state, the possible result of the complaint might be to force the gentleman to choose one preferred lady from the two women. The two women would be counseled and advised on consequences of such like a relationship in the future. The gentleman in question would be invited to make the decision as to whom he loves the most and would like to spend his life with, rather than involving the two ladies in this relationship. For example, in the event, the gentleman seem undecided on whom to spend his life with, he might be advised to cut all the links and relations with the two women. 

Strategies to Minimize the Likelihood of such a Relationship

According to Sternberg (2006), some strategies might be adopted to reduce the possibility of such like a relationship arising in the course of one’s practice. It might not prove easy to avoid such relationships since they most often entail feelings of affection that must indeed have been developed for the other individual, in addition to safeguarding the hope that one day we will be their official spouse. On the other hand, this might be a position that may just be a total waste of time. There is the need to make a list of your goals and objectives and identify what you want in life (Sternberg, 2013). Start to reflect more about your happiness, in your work, in your aspirations, start projects on your own and use the time you spend thinking about him to begin your hobbies and interest. Go out with friends, family; take the prospects to see what they are missing by upholding a secret relationship.

It is imperative to be aware that we ought to have a partner who does not conceal any information whatsoever from us, therefore, take the prospect to get out and meet more people, relying less on him. This distance is a good way to gradually but indisputably, also to let go of this kind of toxic relationship. In the event it proves difficult to let go, one should see a therapist, for professional help with respect to mitigating the situation they so find themselves in (Sternberg, 2006).

It is important to keep in mind that, if you are in the middle of a love triangle, then someone needs to take the other way without looking back. This is vital since it can only harm all of the persons that are involved in it. Maybe there is no love for one, so if you are that person, just walk away and find someone else.

References

Sternberg, R. J. (2006). A duplex theory of love. The new psychology of love , 184-199.

Sternberg, R. J. (2013).  Searching for love.  The Psychologist, 26 (2), 98-101.

Sternberg, R. J., Hojjat, M., & Barnes, M. L. (2001). Empirical tests of aspects of a theory of love as a story. European Journal of Personality , 15 (3), 199-218.

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