Marriage is a universal institution across all cultural groups of the world 1 . Across cultures, it is emphasized that marriage union is a legally and socially established institution that produces children, regulates sexual behavior, and provides reciprocal rights for the participants of the marriage and make up a basic economic unit 2 . The centrality of marriage in virtually all societies of the world makes it one of the most culturally important significant life event. Cultural variations mean there are as many marriage rituals in the world as there are cultures. Marriage rituals, just like cultures, are in constant change as societies become more economically and socially sophisticated. While pre industrial societies placed most of their marriage rituals within a religious context, most modern societies are continually moving into less religion influenced practices, of course to varying degrees across cultures 3 . An inquiry into marriage rituals in different cultures is necessary for comparative purposes and also to trace the rate of social-cultural evolution across cultural entities. No culture is an island of its own. Thus, such an examination is crucial to establishing the rate of cultural exchange and even co-optation. Above all, it enables comprehension of lingering marriage practices that characterize many cultures of the world.
Anthropological literature categorizes marriage as one of the crises of life since it signifies the transition from one phase of life into another 4 . Such crucial a phase, marriage is invariably accompanied by elaborate rituals whether in traditional or modern societies. In most cultures, marriage stands as the most critical rite of passage since it guarantees societal perpetuation. It is therefore not surprising that marriage attracts the most elaborate rituals in most communities. It is worth pointing from the outset that in many societies, marriage is a joyous occasion, universally celebrated through dance, music, and drinks 5 . In most parts of India for example, a flute is played two or three days before the actual event, and continues for roughly three days, with tunes being changed at intervals coinciding with particular marriage rituals and people singing songs composed for that specific occasion 6 .
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In Mexico, the Zapotec’s wedding has elaborate rituals including a band that plays from the eve of a wedding day throughout the marriage ceremony to the following day when the wedding event comes to an end. Specially chosen messengers invite prominent persons to the wedding who hold a procession from the groom’s to the bride’s house, the godfather’s house, the house of the vice president and the church. Four meals are eaten, men dance holding a turkey and playing from patio to the village road intersection, accompanied by two women with baskets. At this point, it is worth noting that wedding here is treated as a single stage that marks the start of marriage life between the couple 7 . Of course, marriage rituals in most cultural groups will often pre date the wedding itself. It is merely the culmination of elaborate marriage plans.
It has been observed earlier that modernization has tended to dilute or water down the sophistication and relative importance of marriage rituals. In preindustrial or traditional societies, elaborate rituals are quite typical. Nevertheless, the disruptive effects of modernization and secularization that have undermined the ritualistic events of modern marriages have not meant the death of rituals. Even in the western world, vestiges of rituals that find their roots in ancient customs still linger. Asking for a hand in marriage and giving away a bride is an example of ancient traditions that remain pronounced in contemporary western societies 8 .
Pre marriage rituals are quite important. With few exemptions, courtship is vital whether or not the man and the woman fall in love with each other or the prospective marriage is organized by elders, as is the case in many cultures. In the Trobriand Islands of the Pacific, young men will normally decorate themselves with baby powder to look attractive to prospective wives. Girls, on the other hand, will have flowers place in their hair or have garlands around their necks. Young youth amongst the Nuer of South Sudan will attend dances to showcase their skills to prospective husbands. After the dances, young men and women sit on tall grass and exchange endearments seated on the tall grass just around the dancing ground 9 . In yet another context, a Nuer man will leap on the back of oxen as a demonstration of his masculinity and chant beautiful poems to a girl, more so if he would like to marry her. These courtships, however, need not lead to marriage especially because many youthful men and women engage in multiple relationships. It, however, remains an important prelude to marriage. In most traditional cultures, parents or elders will have the final approval on marriage wishes of youth, with little or often no objections from the man especially if he has no considerable wealth 10 .
Arranged marriages as was the case in most aristocracies of Europe or Emperors of China and Japan were a way for parents to choose their desired in-laws. Attention in these instances was not specific to the feelings and desires of the potential partners but to the networks created and maintained by marriage. In the Indian societies, the role of match maker is assigned to a trusted member of the family who seeks out the most suitable couple. The mother-in-law of the bride comes to access the suitability as a bride in many parts of Upper Egypt 11 . In most of these societies, love was thought of as irrational and therefore treated with suspicion though today most young people in different cultures meet at work places or universities, fall in love and demand that they will be respected. In contemporary societies like Japan, however, marriage between a member of the royal family with a commoner will demand that the former relinquishes his or her royal standing. In warrior cultures like the Sambia of Papua Guinea, the ideal warrior corners a woman and steals her from the tribe of the enemy. Amongst the Kung of the Kalahari found in Southern Africa, a man has to kill two large animals after which he is competent to approach the parents and request they find a bridegroom for him 12 .
In Christian betrothals, a man will normally present the fiancée with a gold wedding band and a bible. This is of course no different from most American engagements where a man will present a wedding ring to his fiancée during proposal for marriage and during actual marriage events. In most African customs, however, the man is not allowed to kneel before a woman as is often dramatized in western customs like in the United States. Equally pervasive in many American marriages today is bridal shower where close relatives or friends come together to surprise the bride. In this atmosphere of excitement and congratulation, they shower the lady with household and other personal items that she will require in her new life of marriage. Such events have tremendous functional as well as symbolic meaning as the bride and groom prepare to enter the phase of marriage. The games played in the evening symbolize the reproductive role and fertility of the woman. The friends of the groom at times organize a bachelor party used to signify the beginning of the end of the man’s independence, freedom, and responsibility to only himself.
Betrothal amongst Yoruba of West Africa is used to mark a man’s transfer of his rights to a wife and the start of different obligations. The man is now free to call the bride his wife and can engage in sexual encounters with her 13 . Marriage, in most societies today, is a contract governed by tribal laws or a law set by modern states and is known and recognized by members of the public. A ritualistic signing of a contract often before witnesses or civil or religious authorities is a vital part of weddings. In a temple wedding in an Indian setting, the Brahman will normally fill the temple’s bridal register which is signed by the bride and groom in the presence of an important person such as a village leader 14 .
An expression like tying the knot demonstrates permanence and solidity of the contract, and in western cultures, exchanges of rings symbolize the physical nature of this bond. Even in clandestine marriages in medieval and even post medieval England, it involved a particular ritual that had a member of the clergy, some witnesses, gifts and at times wedding rings 15 . Church marriages today entail a proclamation of the couple intention to marry, a formal or legal prohibition or ban typically read few days before marriage to prevent any further objections, the blessing of rings and acceptance of vows after which the officiating authority, in this case, a clergy, declares them husband and wife. Therefore, in both religious and secular marriage rituals, recognition and approval of the public are crucial. As some have rightly observed, for it to be termed a marriage, it needs public affirmation 16 .
The level of formality and public involvement in marriage and associated rituals, however, ranges from culture to culture with the Inuit of Alaska and the cohabiting couples of the western world having almost none of these rituals while in many parts of Mexico, Asia, Africa and the Middle East there are several days of celebratory rituals. The Nuer for instance, conduct three official public stages of marriage rituals spread across several months that entail betrothal, wedding, and consummation. Other additional rituals complete the marriage later. Overall, pre industrial societies have lengthy and more participatory rituals 17 .
Lighting a candle is an important symbolic ritual in many weddings in the United States to express the unity of the couple. This also finds presence in India through the act of Tali-tying. In certain Indian customs, the bride’s father ties the hands of the couple together using a scarf to symbolize the union. Amongst the Tamil Brahman, an important ritual during a wedding is for the couple to take seven steps around the sacrificial fire that are thought to bind the couple 18 .
There are also elaborate rituals that pertain to sexuality in marriage in most cultures. While in some cultures sexual relations are forbidden in the immediate days of marriage, in others it is the climax of the wedding ceremonies. In most Indian communities, the elaborate bride and groom purification take place, and they dress in fresh clothes during the sexual ceremony 19 . While most cultures will emphasize the femininity of the bride in marriage, some cultures insist the female must be masculine during intimate ceremonies. The Tamils go ahead to dress a woman as a man and have her speak rudely to a woman 20 . Amongst the Kanuri in Nigeria, a virgin bride is considered to be the most ideal and commands a tremendous bride price. Thus, they have to be betrothed to older men who can afford them. Economic rituals are also an important part of marriage rituals and often entail bride or groom price that is paid gradually or in a lump sum depending on tradition 21 .
Marriage, it has been noted, marks the commissioning of perhaps the most widespread and vital institution; the family. Most societies, therefore, have elaborate rituals that guide the general conduct of marital affairs. While there is a degree of harmony and similarity in these rituals, there is also considerable diversity, relative to the diversity of cultures. Religion, it has been observed, has been and remains a potent force behind these rituals. Overall, there is a general trend that is watering down the place, and the role of rituals in marriage as societies become more industrialized, and individualism takes root.
Bibliography
Boodhoo, S. 1993. Kanya dan: The why's of Hindu Marriage Rituals. Singapore: Mauritius Bhojpuri Institute.
Fried, Martha Nemes, and Morton Herbert Fried. 1980. "Transitions: four rituals in eight cultures." New York: W.W Norton.
Good, Anthony. 1991. The female bridegroom: a comparative study of life-crisis rituals in south India and Sri Lanka. Oxford: Clarendon Press.
Goody, J. 1973. Bride Wealth and Dowry in Africa and Eurasia. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Roy, B. 1984. Marriage Rituals and Songs of Bengal. Calcutta: Firma KLM Private.
Stone, L. 1979. The Family, Sex and Marriage: England 1500-1800. New York: Harper and Row.
1 Stone, L. The Family, Sex and Marriage: England 1500-1800. New York: Harper and Row, 1979.
2 Roy, B. Marriage Rituals and Songs of Bengal. Calcutta: Firma KLM Private, 1984.
3 Stone, L. The Family, Sex and Marriage: England 1500-1800. New York: Harper and Row, 1979.
4 Boodhoo, S. Kanya dan: The why's of Hindu Marriage Rituals. Singapore: Mauritius Bhojpuri Institute, 1993.
5 Goody, J. Bride Wealth and Dowry in Africa and Eurasia. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1973.
6 Good, Anthony. 1991. The female bridegroom: a comparative study of life-crisis rituals in south India and Sri Lanka. Oxford: Clarendon Press.
7 Fried, Martha Nemes, and Morton Herbert Fried. 1980. "Transitions: four rituals in eight cultures." New York: W.W Norton.
8 Goody, J. Bride Wealth and Dowry in Africa and Eurasia. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1973.
9 Goody, J. Bride Wealth and Dowry in Africa and Eurasia. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1973.
10 Goody, J. Bride Wealth and Dowry in Africa and Eurasia. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1973.
11 Fried, Martha Nemes, and Morton Herbert Fried. 1980. "Transitions: four rituals in eight cultures." New York: W.W Norton.
12 Fried, Martha Nemes, and Morton Herbert Fried. 1980. "Transitions: four rituals in eight cultures." New York: W.W Norton.
13 Fried, Martha Nemes, and Morton Herbert Fried. 1980. "Transitions: four rituals in eight cultures." New York: W.W Norton.
14 Roy, B. Marriage Rituals and Songs of Bengal. Calcutta: Firma KLM Private, 1984.
15 Goody, J. Bride Wealth and Dowry in Africa and Eurasia. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1973.
16 Good, Anthony. 1991. The female bridegroom: a comparative study of life-crisis rituals in south India and Sri Lanka. Oxford: Clarendon Press.
17 Goody, J. Bride Wealth and Dowry in Africa and Eurasia. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1973.
18 Roy, B. marriage Rituals and Songs of Bengal. Calcutta: Firma KLM Private, 1984.
19 Boodhoo, S. Kanya dan: The why's of Hindu Marriage Rituals. Singapore: Mauritius Bhojpuri Institute, 1993.
20 Roy, B. marriage Rituals and Songs of Bengal. Calcutta: Firma KLM Private, 1984.
21 Fried, Martha Nemes, and Morton Herbert Fried. 1980. "Transitions: four rituals in eight cultures." New York: W.W Norton.