Marital relationships are considered one of the sources of life’s most enjoyable experiences though they can become the worst in case of infidelity. Infidelity among young adults is one of the social issues, which has taken root in modern societies owing to its inhibitive nature. Most young adults hope to find solace and emotional support from other individuals once they feel that their current partners are incapable of offering that support. Other young adults end up falling out of love with their partners especially if they did not take time to know each other prior to the union. While infidelity is mostly a social issue owing to its effects on the society, in general one should view fidelity with a psychological lens. Young adults who decide to have extramarital relations do so to fill a void that is caused by their current partner or which emanates from their upbringing. Moreover, it is possible that some individuals may suffer from low self-esteem and are thus finding partners who are likely to affirm this self-esteem. Individuals who engage in infidelity are likely to suffer from guilt, anxiety, and self-blame which could lead to depression, withdrawal, mistrust, and isolation.
Psychological Causes of Infidelity in Young Adults
Young adults are more likely to have extramarital affairs as opposed to older individuals. The reason for this proposition is the fact that young adults are yet to fully decide to make a commitment or not as they are mostly on a trial mode. Of importance is the fact that at this stage most of the young adults are realizing themselves in what they want in life. At this stage, most of the young adults have high expectations, which they expect to be fulfilled by their partners. The chances of getting emotional fulfillment and satisfaction in this stage are minimal considering that the adults are on the road to self-discovery. Unfulfilled emotional needs make individuals decide to leave their current partners in the hope of finding better partners According to Russell, Baker, and McNulty (2013), attachment theory can be used to explain why individuals think that they will get happiness from other partners. This theory asserts that intimates with high levels of attachment avoidance doubt their partners and avoid behaviors that promote intimacy. Essentially, if a partner realizes that they are not wanted intimately he or she is likely to leave that relationship to find a partner with secure attachment styles. It is possible that an individual may take time before finally finding an individual with high levels of attachment security with whom to form meaningful relationships.
Delegate your assignment to our experts and they will do the rest.
The sense of emotional disconnect is another psychological reason which leads to infidelity in most young people. In this case, an individual feels that he or she is not a level emotional platform with his or her partner owing to personality differences. This emotional disconnect means that the individual is not relating emotionally creating an emotional void. It is common for individuals who are experiencing emotional disconnection to be sad, insecure or unloved and unappreciated. Attribution theory is used to explain why individuals resort to cheating with the hope that cheating will help them feel better about themselves by releasing their negative feelings. This theory establishes that individuals attempt to understand the actions of others by attaching beliefs, feelings, and intentions those behaviors (Thompson and O’Sullivan, 2017). In this case, an individual may establish that a cheating partner is doing so intentional as a way of dealing with the existing emotional disconnect. Others hope that they will stumble into other partners who they will relate with on an equal emotional platform. However, most of the times, cheating individuals find out that it is not easy to find such partners since they need to work on their emotional state.
Family history plays a significant role when it comes to infidelity among young adults. In these cases, it is possible that individuals may relive the negative connotations associated with their families such as divorce, domestic violence or infidelity. Individuals who have been brought up in families with domestic violence may grow up thinking that marriages cannot be happy. As a result, such individuals enter into relationships with that mentality which affects how they relate with their partners. Some of the individuals may overwhelm their partners mentally by making negative connotations especially is they sense that their partners may be cheating (Scheeren, Apellaniz, and Wagner, 2018). The individuals who grew up in families with numerous divorces may fail to commit to their partners, as they already know of a way out of a marriage. This lack of commitment is psychological, as they believe that relationships cannot last forever. As a result, such individuals will focus on short-term relationships which creates a room for infidelity. On the other hand, those individuals who have grown up in families with high levels of infidelity may internalize that infidelity is a natural thing and would not shy away from cheating on their partners.
Young adults are likely to cheat in their marriages or relationships if they are unable to deal with their problems. Marriages and relationships are bound to have problems which must be dealt with if a couple is to make the best out of the union. However, there are individuals who are not capable of solving their problems but rather choose to sweep their issues under the carpet. There comes a time when the issues become too much to bear and individuals choose to seek solace in other people. Essentially couples who are not able to solve their problems find themselves opening up to other individuals mainly from the opposite sex. Interestingly couples from troubled relationships fail to keep boundaries with the individual they confide in which may open infidelity doors (Moller and Vossler, 2015). In this case, an individual may be thinking that he or she is getting an emotional place and sympathy only to find that he or she has engaged in infidelity, which makes the issue worse. This type of infidelity is common in the workplace where colleagues open to each other about their marital or relationship issue in an effort to reduce the mental burden.
Boredom, which is largely a psychological outcome, has the ability to cause infidelity in young adults if it is not addressed. The reason for this proposition is the fact that young adults are explorative desiring to try out several things to make their relationships more interestingly. For example, couples may want to explore several positions during intimacy. If an individual finds out that his or her partner is rigid and prefers one position, that individual may fall into boredom, as the relationship is monotonous. Moreover, individuals may become bored in a relationship, which follows strict routines. For example, there are couples who will frequent a particular spot when dating without caring to visit another spot. Still, other couples meet at a particular time, which reduces thrill and excitement over time. This routine creates a need to experience more thrilling and interesting relationships, which leads to infidelity. It is common to find lonely wives joining clubs or hiring gym instructors only to find themselves in new and toxic relationships. According to Zapien (2017), infidelity is a personal decision where individuals use new relationships as excuses to escape boredom by hanging out in different places or adopting new hobbies. It is likely that the diverse activities and hobbies will breed to something more leading individuals to be unfaithful to their partners.
Emotional betrayal contributes significantly to infidelity as a way of retreating for being denied attention and love. Individuals who feel that their partner focuses most of their attention on something or someone else may cheat to get the attention of their partners. Essentially women are the most likely to suffer from emotional betrayal especially if they realize that they are not getting the attention they deserve. According to Scheeren et al (2018), women are more likely to cheat as a way of retaliating if they feel unhappy or trapped in a bad relationship. Additionally, women considered being more emotionally vulnerable requiring their partners to love and hear them out. If the women feel that they are being traded with something or someone else then their self-esteem is likely to plummet and it can only be regained through assurance by other male partners. Individuals who feel that their partners are not filling their emotional void are likely to feel betrayed and the only way to overcome betrayal is to cheat.
Psychological Effects of Infidelity on Young Adults
Infidelity in young adults is associated with several psychological effects, which range from mild to disastrous. In most cases, Perpetrators and victims of infidelity will be affected by the outcome of the infidelity in equal measure depending on the nature of their relationship. Victims of infidelity are likely to report low levels of self-esteem since they believe that their partners found better qualities in other people (Zapien, 2017). The victims may tend to believe that they are inadequate unworthy and undeserving of their partners love due to their physical or emotional attributes. Essentially, the victims may find themselves spending too much time finding out whom their partners cheat with to make comparisons. This then takes too much toll on their confidence and self-esteem levels, which can be disastrous as it can lead to depression. Depression then leads to withdrawal and isolation.
Infidelity has the ability of breeding mistrust among the victims, as they may not be in apposition to trust their partners or others in the future. It is possible that victims of infidelity will view every other future partner with suspicion thinking that the cheating will be repeated in the future. This mistrust can make individuals have a fear to make commitments to other people for fear of being hurt (Aranda, Camaal, Mendez, and Carmona, 2018). Even when the victims of fidelity get into a relationship, they will require constant assurance that their new partners are not going anywhere. Essentially, the victims of past infidelity may keep on following their partners every move, phone calls, and interactions just to make sure that they are not cheating. Doing this creates unnecessary pressure on the victims and their new partners if they realize that their partners do not trust them. The emotional baggage associated with the fear of being cheated on may take a mental toll on this individual as well as their current and future relationships.
Infidelity in young adults may lead to depression owing to the guilt felt by the perpetrators. It is possible that their partners may forgive the perpetrators but the chances of being reminded of the infidelity are quite high. The perpetrators every move may be scrutinized making them very uncomfortable and guilty. This proposition is true especially if the perpetrator fathered a child, had a pregnancy out of the affair or brought home a sexually transmitted infection. The guilt associated with being reminded of ones wayward action may push individuals to the brink of becoming depressed. Worse still, the perpetrators may realize that their partners have changed the relationship’s terms and are no longer receptive to their intimacy needs. This feeling of rejection does not help in bringing the depression levels low but worsen it pushing an individual to emotional blackout and emptiness. The emotional blackout caused by a lack of replication for love may lead to individuals to contemplate suicide, homicide, or divorce.
Relationship distress is a psychological effect emanating from infidelity in young adults. The young adults normally get into marriage or relationships so that they can complement one another to become better persons. Infidelity changes all these expectations once individuals realize that they got in the wrong or toxic relationships. The initial desire to make meaning out of a relationship is watered down by the infidelity, which places the couple apart from each other. The couple instance question each other and their own actions in an attempt to find out what went wrong. It is usual to find the partners accusing each other in an attempt to shift blame. The perpetrator may try to justify his or her actions by insinuating that his or her partner forced him or her into fidelity. The accusations and counteraccusations further complicate the relationship leading to relationship distress, which takes a toll on the couple (Aranda et al, 2018). At this point, most couples chose to separate so that they can rethink of their next move.
In conclusion, infidelity among young adults can be attributed to several psychological causes. Most of the individuals who cheat on their partners do so out of the need to feel more loved, appreciated or wanted. Others cheat after feeling that their present relationships are not meeting their emotional needs and thus find solace in new partners. Still, others feel bored in the current relationships, which are based on rigid routines and activities. Whatever the cause of infidelity is, perpetrators and victims tend to suffer from several psychological effects. The victims of infidelity tend to suffer from low self -esteem as they wonder what is wrong with them that would push their partners to cheat on them. The perpetrators of infidelity are likely to face rejection and mistrust in the event that they are forgiven. Infidelity changes the course of the relationships since it creates an emotional dent, which takes a toll on the overall meaning of the concerned relationship.
References
Aranda, G. I. P., Caamal, A. A. S., Méndez, A. G. G., & Carmona, S. E. (2018). Infidelity in university students. International Journal of Psychology and Behavioral Sciences, 8 (3), 39-44.
Moller, N., & Vossler, A. (2015). Defining infidelity in research and couple counseling: A qualitative study. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 41 (5), 487-497.
Russell, V. M., Baker, L. R., & McNulty, J. K. (2013). Attachment insecurity and infidelity in marriage: do studies of dating relationships really inform us about marriage? Journal of Family Psychology, 27 (2), 242–251.
Scheeren, P, A., Appellaniz, I. A. M., & Wagner, A. (2018). Marital infidelity: The experience of men and women. Trends in Psychology, 26 (1), 355-369.
Thompson, A. E., O’Sullivan, L. F. (2017). Understanding variations in judgments of infidelity: an application of attribution theory. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 39 (5), 262-276.
Zapien, N. M. (2017). Decision science, risk perception, and infidelity. Sage Open, 7(1)
