Verbal aggression occurs when an individual attacks another person’s self-image, which causes psychological suffering to the victim by leading to negative emotions such as depression, desperation, embarrassment, and disgrace. Verbal aggressors use different types of aggressive messages such as teasing gestures, disregard, attacks on the character, physical appearance, and competence, loud voices, derision, obscenity, curses, or threats (Bekiari, 2017). The occurrence of verbal aggression in relationships raises the issue of whether it is ethically correct to treat another person in an unacceptable way. The reason for this is that society regards verbal abuse against others to be morally wrong, which means that it is morally wrong to abuse a partner in a relationship. Abuse by any partner in the relationship is an offense and a severe issue in the society just as it is if a person physically abused another person in a relationship. While verbal aggression does not lead to physical injury, it is still morally wrong. Moreover, people have moral principles that guide their behaviors and they choose behaviors that satisfy them and enhance their self-worth and reject behaviors that violate those principles and lead to shame, guilt, and self-condemnation, which emphasize the importance of morality in verbal aggression that people experience when developing relationships (Tamborini et al., 2012). For example, society expects people to treat others with respect and avoid inhumane acts towards others. These principles, nevertheless, are mostly inactive because people silence their moral principles cognitively to engage in reprehensible behaviors without perceiving inconsistencies between their moral principles and their behaviors (Bandura, 2016). Verbal aggression harms other people and if engaging in acts that hurt others is against the moral standards of a person, then it is unethical to engage in that behavior.
Violence towards other people desensitizes the perpetrator and makes him or her to be irresponsible since perpetrators of verbal aggression often obscure their role by considering the victim as being responsible. The perpetrators re-construct their misbehaviors using different mechanisms such as moral justification, euphemistic labeling, and advantageous comparison. Using the moral justification mechanism, the perpetrator may justify his or her behavior by believing that it serves a greater moral good or that it is beneficial to other people. The perpetrator can also use euphemistic labeling to depict the misbehavior through a mild language to hide the reprehensive nature of the act. Another mechanism through which verbal aggression may occur is through an advantageous comparison in which the perpetrator reduces the perception of his or her misconduct by comparing it with other misconducts. The perpetrator can also dehumanize the victim and regard him or her as a sub-human. These mechanisms allow the perpetrator to morally disengage from his or her behaviors, legitimize his or her aggressive conduct and maintain his or her moral principles (Bandura, 2016). The verbal aggressors are, however, responsible for abusing their partners since they cause serious moral harm by deliberately using violence to undermine the independence of other people. Verbal aggressors commit a moral wrong that the society would not allow people to perpetrate on other people. The aggressor is responsible for initiating the aggression that undermines his or her partner in the relationship, which is grievous moral damage that he or she can avoid using the available moral principles in the society.
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How media impacts the experience of verbal aggression
Media affects the experience of verbal aggression by contributing to the normalization and spread of aggression in relationships (Goldberg, Smith-Adcock & Dixon, 2011). According to Goldberg et al., the media (television and movies) teaches young people at a young age both how to be aggressive in relationships and the acceptability of aggressive behavior. For example, many films aimed at young people depict popular actors as applying verbal aggressive tactics, which serves to normalize aggression in movies (Goldberg, Smith-Adcock & Dixon, 2011). Reality shows on televisions also contain regular depictions of people in relationships using aggressive tactics such as manipulation. The amount of verbal aggression that people see in the media affects the amount of aggression they use (Goldberg, Smith-Adcock & Dixon, 2011).
Anderson, Gentile, and Buckley (2007) also support the effect of media on aggression by arguing that being exposed to aggression in the media increases the possibility of violence in people. While being exposed to violence in the media may not lead to aggressive behavior, the presence of risk factors for aggressive behavior in a person who is, for example, already demonstrates verbal aggressiveness may increase the level of aggressive behavior because of the effects of the media (Anderson, Gentile, & Buckley, 2007). People today are immersed in online communication where social media and news websites offer information on various topics, such as daily life, the society, and politics (Soral, Bilewicz, & Winiewski, 2018). The online media also convey derogatory and hatred about other people and groups, which exposes people to negative comments about other groups. In the study by Soral, Bilewicz, and Winiewski (2018), the researchers examined how being exposed to hate speech in the online media influences the attitudes of people toward the groups of people that are targets of the language. The researchers discovered that being exposed regularly to offensive language decreases the sensitivity of people to derogatory language and increases their out-group prejudice. The study demonstrates that offensive language that people observe in online media transforms their attitudes toward other people by desensitizing them. Being exposed to offensive language regularly causes a person to lose sensitivity to the derogatory language, which causes the person to distance from the people that are targets of the language.
Huesmann (2007) states that observational learning; the desensitization and activation of emotional mechanisms can lead to long term effects of media violence. Based on the observational learning perspective, children develop cognitive scripts when they observe the behaviors of others and make attributions for their behaviors. Normative beliefs regarding the required social conduct entrench in children as they grow and can be used as filters to restrict inappropriate social conduct. Observing behaviors in the media influence these normative scripts and actions. The observational learning perspective proposes that if children observe violent behavior show in the media, they can become aggressive in the future. The desensitization theory, on the other hand, suggests that being regularly exposed to emotionally activating media influences people to be accustomed to those emotions, which reduces their negative emotional reaction to stimuli that would lead to those reactions, such as violence. Desensitization influences people to develop the ability to act aggressively without experiencing the negative feelings that would normally restrict aggressive conduct.
The Experience of Verbal Aggression in Workplace vs. Romantic Relationships
Workplace relationships
Verbal aggression in the workplace is mainly caused by negative emotions. Workers engage in verbal aggression in reaction to the negative emotions they face at the workplace. For example, workplace stressors, such as interpersonal conflicts, organization challenges, and workload lead to negative emotions, such as sadness, fear, and anger among workers (Lanctôt & Guay, 2014). These emotions increase the possibility of workers engaging in verbal aggression (Bruk-Lee & Spector, 2006). Anger is the dominant emotion that is related to verbal aggression. People experience anger when they believe that their individual rights or common rules have been infringed and when their individual identity or role is damaged or attacked in an unacceptable or unfair manner (Lazarus, 2006). Workers also act verbally aggressive due to fear. Fear reduces the agency of a person and causes the person to perceive events to be uncontrollable and controlled by outside factors (Lerner & Keltner, 2001). Workers who, thus, experience fear may think that they lack the required resources to control events because of their pessimistic attitudes towards the development of events across different situations.
When a person perceives a threat due to fear and is, thus, compelled to act defensively, he or she may act verbally aggressive (Simunovic, Mifune, & Yamagishi, 2013). Verbal aggression in the workplace is, therefore, related to negative emotions, such as fear and anger. These emotions lead workers to develop hostile biases in the interpretation of normal situations and to attribute the origin of their aggressiveness to external factors. Employees may use verbal aggression toward other workers to release negative feelings, such as anger and frustration.
Romantic Relationships
In romantic relationships, verbal aggression has a negative effect on satisfaction. Partners in a romantic relationship use different disengagement mechanisms when verbally abusing their partners. Romantic partners with a high probability of being verbally aggressive use relational disengagement mechanisms than partners with a low probability of being aggressive. Partners also use verbally aggressive messages when terminating relationships. Both partners in a romantic relationship reciprocate verbal aggression based on the use of verbal aggression by their partner (Rancer & Avtgis, 2006). In these relationships, the experience of verbal aggression among women is related to mental suffering due to power dependence in such relationships and gendered roles. Women will, however, perform poorly in their roles when they are mentally troubled. In turn, this may make men feel threatened because of not receiving the services and care that women usually offer, which will compel them to verbally abuse their partners to maintain their masculine status. The lack of psychological resources among women, for instance, happiness feelings and positive sense of self, increases their vulnerability to be verbally abused because of their dependence on their partners (Chung, Tucker, Li, Zhou, & Hwang, 2011).
Among men, however, their experience of verbal aggression is associated with the lack of socio-structural resources, such as unemployment and being young. While these men may depend on verbal aggression to control their partners and to maintain power in the relationship, they are at a higher risk of being victimized by their partners. Romantic partners with fewer resources depend more on their partners, possess less power, and lack the ability to influence situations in the relationship, particularly if they cannot find alternatives mates. In turn, this compels them to stay with aggressive partners or to act aggressively towards their partners (Chung et al., 2011). Women, however, engage more in verbal aggression than men in intimate relationships (Dutton & O'Leary, 2006).
References
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Bruk-Lee, V., & Spector, P. E. (2006). The social stressors-counterproductive work behaviors link: Are conflicts with supervisors and coworkers the same?. Journal of occupational health psychology , 11 (2), 145.
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Dutton, D., & O'Leary, K. (2006). Abusive Personality, Second Edition: Violence and Control in Intimate Relationships . New York: Guilford Press.
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Rancer, A. S., & Avtgis, T. A. (2006). Argumentative and aggressive communication: Theory, research, and application . Sage.
Simunovic, D., Mifune, N., & Yamagishi, T. (2013). Preemptive strike: An experimental study of fear-based aggression. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology , 49 (6), 1120-1123.
Soral, W., Bilewicz, M., & Winiewski, M. (2018). Exposure to hate speech increases prejudice through desensitization. Aggressive behavior , 44 (2), 136-146.
Tamborini, R., Eden, A., Bowman, N. D., Grizzard, M., & Lachlan, K. A. (2012). The influence of morality subcultures on the acceptance and appeal of violence. Journal of Communication , 62 (1), 136-157.
