1. How did you learn about sex/sexuality? a. From whom (e.g., parents, siblings, friends, school, media, internet)? b. At what age? c. Was it accurate? Your reaction to this information?
I learned through sex education in middle school. I was 12. I was not surprised because I found my dad’s playboy magazines. I was excited by this information.
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2. In what ways did your religion or spiritual beliefs influence your attitudes toward sex/sexuality?
I am Catholic so we are told women are supposed to be virgins until marriage which I did not agree with. Men were able to do things and not be accounted for.
3. What messages did you receive about masturbation, premarital sex, etc.?
That I should wait until marriage. As for masturbation, procreation was not for pleasure for the woman. Premarital sex was forbidden.
4. In what ways did your culture, ethnicity, or family background influence your attitudes toward sex/sexuality?
I am African American and my family background, from what I remember, my older cousins all had children at an incredibly young age (14). Which turned into me not wanting to follow in their footsteps.
5. Overall, do you consider the family you grew up in to be sex-positive, negative, or neutral? a. What were your parent's attitudes towards sex? Your siblings? b. How about on your mother's side? Your father's side? Downloaded by [Michigan State University] at 12:11 02 July 2012 Revisiting the Sexual Genogram 293
My immediate family was negative about it. Which in my opinion was hypocritical because I was under the impression that my mother married as a virgin, but I recently found out my older sister was in the wedding photos.
6. What were the sexual boundaries in your house growing up (e.g., nakedness, privacy)
Yes my older sister could not even help me through those trying moments because of my mom
7. How was affection shown in your family? a. Did your parents show affection to each other? If so, in what way? b. Did your parents show affection to you and/or your siblings? If so, in what way? c. Was there anything that made you uncomfortable about how affection was shown in the family?
Yes I was very loved, although I do not agree with the discipline which still bothers me
8. What messages did you get about gender in your family of origin? a. What do men do? What do women do? b. How should men be sexually? How should women be sexually?
Girls should wear dresses and stay pure. While the males were able to do whatever they wanted to. This is why I join the Marine Corps to prove I was just as intelligent and strong.
9. Were you ever caught or punished for sexual activity?
No
10. When did you first become aware of your gender? a. Did it coincide with your biological sex? How well did it conform to traditional gender expectations in society and/or your family? b. How do you currently categorize your gender identity? (e.g., male, female, transgender, genderqueer) c. Do you currently have any discomfort with your gender or gender identity?
I became aware of my gender at the age of 12, which coincided with my biological sex. I categorize my gender identity as male, and it conforms fully to the traditional gender expectations in my family. I am comfortable with my gender identity.
11. When did you first become aware of your attraction to others? a. Were you attracted primarily to the same gender, opposite gender, or both? b. What was your reaction to this? Your families? I learned that I was attracted to the opposite gender at the age of 12. I was excited whenever I viewed a particular girl in my father’s magazines, which I kept hidden from my family, thus they never knew about my secret.
12. How do you currently categorize your sexual orientation/attraction? (e.g., asexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer/questioning, attracted to a person, not a gender) a. Do you currently have any discomfort with your sexual orientation? b. Did you ever have to hide your gender or sexual orientation preferences? If so why? How? I am heterosexual and comfortable with my sexual orientation. I have never hidden my sexual orientation because it conforms to the traditional gender expectations in my family.
13. Were you teased as a kid? If so, about what? How did this affect you?
I was teased at the age of 12 at school about my attraction to magazine models, who I stacked in between my books. I was embarrassed and incapable of forming new friends after the old ones abandoned me.
14. At what age did you start puberty? a. Was this earlier, later, or about the same as your peers? b. What was your reaction to puberty? c. Did you have accurate information about what would happen in puberty? d. Did you have someone you felt comfortable asking questions about puberty? My puberty started at the age of 12, which is about the same time when my peers began this stage. I was a little afraid about the changes that were occurring in my body despite the accurate information I had obtained from my sexual education class. This period was challenging because I never had anyone to ask questions on the subject matter.
15. At what age did you discover masturbation? a. What was your reaction to this? b. Were there ever any embarrassing issues related to masturbation? c. Do you continue to masturbate? If so, how often? If not, why? d. Is there currently anything about masturbation that concerns you? Downloaded by [Michigan State University] at 12:11 02 July 2012 294 C. K. Belous et al.
I discovered masturbation at the age of 14 years. I was afraid of exploring it because it felt wrong as the church was against it. I have never experienced an embarrassing issue related to masturbation because I do not masturbate, especially because of the guilt that follows immediately when one goes against the Catholic Church’s teachings.
16. At what age did you first have an orgasm? a. What was your reaction to this? b. Were there ever any embarrassing issues related to orgasm? c. Do you currently have orgasms? If so, what percentage of the time? If not, reasons why? d. In what ways can you experience orgasm (e.g., self-stimulation, oral sex, penetrative, etc.)? e. Are you able to have multiple orgasms? f. Have you ever faked an orgasm? g. Is there currently anything about having orgasms, or not having orgasms, that concerns you? I had my first orgasm at the age of 23 years and I felt very excited. I have never experienced embarrassing issues related to orgasm. I have orgasms almost 98 percent during penetrative sex with the opposite gender. Through penetrative sex, I can have multiple orgasms. I have never faked an orgasm and I do not have anything concerning orgasms.
17. At what age were you exposed to pornography? a. What was your reaction to it? b. How much, if any, do you currently use/view pornography? c. Do you have concerns about the amount of time or content of what is viewed? My peers exposed me to pornography at the age of 14 years. I was excited at first but I immediately became negative to it when I discovered that it was clouding my judgment about the meaning of sex, thus I restrained myself from viewing it. I do not have any concerns about the content that is viewed because I have managed to restrain from I always.
18. As a child, did you ever see anyone engaging in overt sexual activity? a. What was your reaction to it? How do you think it affected your sexuality? As a child, I saw my cousin engage in lap dances with a boy about her age. I was annoyed by the situation, especially because I thought that it was responsible for her early pregnancy. This whole event made me abstain from sex because I never wanted to be responsible for any girl leaving school because of early pregnancy.
19. How would you describe your dating experiences in high school? My dating was brief in high school because I officially went on two dates with the same girl before she left me for one of the popular boys in school. I was disappointed and vowed not to ask another girl out for a date until I went to college, where I perceived the girls were more mature.
20. How old were you when you had your first sexual experience with an opposite-sex partner? a. How old was the partner? b. What was your relationship with your partner? Was it consensual vs. non-consensual? c. What was your reaction to this experience (e.g., positive, negative, neutral)? I had my first sexual experience with an opposite partner at the age of 23 years. My partner, which was my girlfriend was also 23 years old. The sex was consensual between the two of us and I was positive about this whole experience.
21. How old were you when you had your first sexual experience with a same-sex partner? a. How old was the partner? b. What was your relationship with your partner? Was it consensual vs. non-consensual? c. What was your reaction to this experience (e.g., positive, negative, neutral)? I have never had a sexual experience with a same-sex partner.
22. Have you had any negative or upsetting sexual experiences? a. How old were you? What effects has it had on you? b. Have you ever told anyone about this? If so, who? If not, why? I had an upsetting sexual experience at the age of 14 years. I still feel guilty about the whole experience and I have never shared the ordeal with anyone to date.
23. How attractive do you feel in general? What are the factors that contribute to this? a. Are there any body image issues that affect your ability to be sexual? I feel very attractive. One of the factors contributing to this feeling is the frequent compliments that I receive often about my looks, and there are no body image issues that affect my ability to be sexual.
24. How is your general health? a. Any chronic illnesses? Injuries? Past surgeries? Current medications? Downloaded by [Michigan State University] at 12:11 02 July 2012 Revisiting the Sexual Genogram 295 I As per doctors diagnosis I am emotionally, mentally, and physically fit. Additionally, I do not have any genetic disorders, chronic illnesses, injuries, and surgeries currently or in the past.
25. How is your sexual health? a. Females: i. Menstrual difficulties: menorrhagia, dysmenorrhea, or amenorrhea? ii. Fibroids? Ovarian Cysts? iii. When was your last gynecological check-up? Any abnormalities? b. Males: i. Discharge from the penis during urination? ii. Testicular cancer? iii. Last prostate check? Any abnormalities? c. Have you ever been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted infection/disease or HIV? d. If so, how old were you? e. From whom did you get it? What was your reaction to it? I do not have testicular cancer or discharge from my penis when I urinate. I did have a prostrate check at the end of the year 2020, which confirmed that I never had any abnormalities. To date, I have never been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease of HIV.
26. Are you (or have you ever) experienced any of the following? a. Pain during sexual activity, Inability to orgasm, Orgasm too quickly, Lack of desire, Unable to lubricate (women), Unable to achieve or maintain an erection (men), Involuntary contraction of the vagina preventing penetration (women), Intense fear of sexual contact or thoughts about sexuality At first when I became sexually active, I experienced an orgasm too quickly such that I was not able to satisfy my partner's sexual urge.
27. How do you feel about your genitals, and about touching and observing a partner’s genitals? I feel that my genitals play a crucial role in promoting desirable health outcomes. I feel that touching and observing my partner's genitals helps in developing the relationship closeness. 28. How often do you have sexual fantasies? a. Are you comfortable with the content of your fantasies? I often have sex fantasies when I am with my partner and am comfortable with them.
29. Have you or your partner ever had a sexual fetish? No
30. Have you ever engaged in sexual behavior that you worried or knew was illegal?
Yes, masturbation.
31. What is your history of being faithful to partners? Your current partner? a. Are you currently attracted to anyone other than your partner? b. Is there a history of affairs (or suspected affairs) in your family? I am very faithful to my partner with no attraction to anyone other than my partner. There is no suspect or history of affairs in my family to date.
32. How would you ideally raise your children? Would it be different from the way that you were raised? Yes, I will encourage open conversations in all matters including sexuality.
33. Have you ever been pregnant, or gotten someone pregnant? a. Was this planned or unplanned? What was/were the outcome(s) of the pregnancy? b. If you have had children, how did they affect your sexuality? c. Have you ever struggled with infertility? Yes, I got my wife pregnant immediately we planned for it, which means I never struggled with infertility. Thus, we have children in our happy union with my wife.
34. Are there sexual events or information in your family that no one talks about? a. What are they? b. Who knows and who doesn’t? Yes, my elder sister’s birth, which occurred before my father and mother, were married. My sister does not know this information which I obtained when I checked my parents’ wedding photos, which she appeared, but at a very young age.
35. Do you suspect that there are sexual secrets that have never been told? a. Can you currently talk to your parents about sexuality? Your siblings? Your children? Downloaded by [Michigan State University] at 12:11 02 July 2012 296 C. K. Belous et al. b. Do you have information or events about yourself sexually that you have not told anyone about? Yes. I still cannot talk to my parents about sexuality but I can only communicate with my children on the matter. I also have sexual information that I have never shared with anyone.
36. Is there anything about your sexuality or what/who you are attracted to that you are ashamed of? a. If so, what? When did this begin? b. Have you ever talked to someone close to you about it before? How did that turn out? No.
37. What is the meaning/purpose of sex for you? Sex offers an opportunity for me to bond and shows love and affection to my partner.
38. How has aging affected your sexuality? a. What do you think your sexual future holds?
Aging has helped in understanding the various stereotypes held against sexuality, thus it has changed my views about it. Therefore, as I grow more I feel that my sexual future holds more surprises that I am willing to explore.
Summary
Generally, this sexual genogram contains my data, and transgenerational relationships information. It provides significant information about sexuality and sex. I can use this genogram in the clinical examination to highlight the areas of emotional intensity especially when there is a conflict with my partner. More so, I use this sexual genogram to assess the transgenerational and current issues concerning my sexuality. Some of the strengths of this sexual genogram are it contains information about sexuality communication and behaviors, perception of the partners' sexual genogram, and the information that is still unavailable. It also includes overt messages concerning intimacy and masculinity. However, there is no information about how the missing information could be gathered. More so, there is no information about the wishes to change the partners’ genogram. The inherent biases in this genogram relate to how I believed in the Catholic Church's believes about sexuality without question. Through the genogram, I learned that I am still afraid to discuss my sexuality with my parents to date.
