Zachary and Lilian are contemplating divorce after 8 years of marriage. There are several social psychological factors that have led them to this point. The first is religion. This couple do not follow the same faith. Lilian is a devout Christian, while Zachary is not. At the beginning, it was not an issue as both were willing to compromise. However when children came into the picture, faith matters became more profound for Lilian. The issue of religion often separates couples with different ideology because at some point, there is no room for compromise. (Gottman et al. 19) The same matter of faith is responsible for Lilian opposing the divorce that her husband is proposing.
Another issue that is facing this and other couples is the issue of money. When the two gift married, they were both working and contributing to the family's budget. Lilian stopped working after the birth of her second child because she was denied an extended maternity leave. This left Zachary as the sole bread winner. Changing economic circumstances often destroy the trust in a relationship. In such a situation, the sole bread winner may feel betrayed because he was not consulted on the decision .( Hetherington & Kelly 51). On the other hand the dependent may feel that they contribute in other wholistic ways. This disconnect affects cohesion in the relationship.
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Lilian turned down a job as it was in another town. She would have had to relocate and start afresh there. However, this put more strain on the relationship as Zachary felt that Lilian was selfish and does not listen (Gottman et al. 16). Shortly after this, Zachary got a better job in a further town. He has been working at his new job for about 3 years. The separation made things worse in the marriage as Zachary only visits his family once a month. Long separations make couples become strangers and they are unable to relate as they used to. The main social and psychological risk factors that have affected this marriage are religious differences, economic factors and physical separation.
If a marriage ends in divorce, adjustment is needed for a succesful post divorce period. Post divorce adjustment requires a deliberate effort to move on during the transition. Roles in a marriage are often clearly laid out even if it is done informally. In the case of one working partner, the stay at home partner would have to get a means of income to take care of themselves. One of the two marriage partners may have to adjust their lifestyle to match that of their current financial status. ( Clarke & Brentano 132) Additionally, the two will have to agree on what to do about joint financial obligations. These include bills that cater for the family home and for the children. Parents may also need to acts as psychological support for the children who may not be ready or able to deal with the separation.
Seeking counselling and legal services will also help in navigating the new territory. The couple may be in agreement about several issues although there is bound to be issues that are contentious. An example is their participation in the lives of their children and even the decision on where the children will live . ( Clarke & Brentano 137). This may require the intervention of a professional counsellor and lawyer who will seek for the best interests of all the parties.
The final factor that will aid in a succesful adjustment is the support of friends and family. Having a strong social network will supplement the one on one psychological support from a counsellor. It may also be better for the couple to keep their distance from each other until they are ready for cordial communication.
