Strangeness and familiarity make up a continuum, with strangers being at the most unfamiliar end of the continuum. Communicating with strangers involve relatively greater degrees of uncertainty, especially during intercultural communication. This is because strangers often have limited knowledge of their new environment. This includes knowledge about the norms and values of the environment. On the other hand, the locals have limited knowledge about the stranger. This includes knowledge that relates to the stranger’s beliefs, interests and habits. In this respect, when communicating with strangers, individuals seek to reduce this uncertainty. Intercultural communication provides an understanding of how individuals from different cultural backgrounds communicate. In this paper, I will reflect on one intercultural experience that relates to intercultural communication. The reflection will focus on a number of theories and concepts, including the anxiety/uncertainty reduction theory (AUM) .
As an online gamer, I usually socialize with others online. I could never have imagined back when I started gaming that I would find a friend through online gaming. Two years ago, I met a Taiwanese girl while gaming online, and before the COVID-19 pandemic, she came to visit me. In this paper, I will refer to her as Mrs X. X is 21 years old and live in Taoyuan. X has relatives living in the United States, and she regularly visits them. Before our meeting, X and I used to chat using a messaging and an audio communication feature provided by the online game. It is during this encounter with X) that I realized the importance of intercultural communication. First, X and I were from different races and cultural backgrounds. X is a Taiwanese and Muslim, whereas I am an African American and Christian. Thus, her accent was different from mine, and we both had difficulties understanding each other.
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At first, X and I had an uneasy friendship. This can be attributed to a number of factors, including the fact we were strange to each other. X and I also had a little conflict, and this conflict had a significant impact on our friendship. She complained that she had difficulty understanding my African American accent. According to X, I usually mix both African-American vocabularies and English vocabularies in one sentence, making it difficult for her to comprehend what I say. Furthermore, X thought that I showed off my African-American and English level deliberately. In addition, X used to think that I was angry due to my tone, intonation, and speed of speech. She found all these completely strange and had difficulties communicating with me. On the other hand, X is the Taiwanese friend that I had and knew. Just like X, I also had difficulties understanding some of her vocabularies. She used to mix both Arabic and English vocabularies, which I, sometimes, found it difficult to understand. Despite all these challenges, X and I continued to play together.
Before the outbreak of COVID-19, X came to the U.S. to visit her relatives. She planned to visit me as well. I was immediately uneasy about interacting with X. This is because she was completely strange to me. I knew nothing about her social backgrounds. Apparently, upon meeting, X gave me a big hug, something which I never expected. This action made my anxiety skyrocket. Although I am used to being hugged by people I am familiar with, I did not expect it from a complete stranger. Throughout the encounter, X kept a close distance, something which, to me, seemed very strange, given that it is the first time X and I was meeting. I thought maybe her culture encourages people to welcome strangers and keep close contact. According to Neuliep (2015), culture plays a vital role in determining how individuals maintain spatial distances during communication. Years later, I came to realize that X’s religious culture allows her to keep a close proxemic relationship. While this culture is also prevalent in the African-American culture, it is not often exercised with complete strangers.
Months have passed since my first face-to-face encounter with X. What I recall most from the encounter is her affect and behaviour. Just like when chatting via the messaging feature, X and I had difficulties understanding each other. However, our use of gestures, facial expressions, and other nonverbal communications enabled us to express our feelings, thoughts, and messages. After the meeting, X and I exchanged contacts and agreed to talk more often and share much information about our religious, social, cultural, and educational background. Since then, I have learned a lot about X. For instance, I learned that Islam means peace and that the religious fosters peace. I also learned that Muslim men are allowed to practice polygamy ; they can marry up to four wives. Furthermore, forced marriages, which are more pervasive in the U.S (Moses & Russ, 2014), are forbidden in Islam. X and I also agreed to take online intercultural communication courses to improve our intercultural communication.
After learning more about X, I began to understand why our first face-to-face encounter was uneasy. After reading about AUM theory , I realized that my first encounter with X was uneasy because X was a complete stranger to me. The AUM theory revolves around two key concepts: uncertainty and anxiety . According to AUM theory , when an individual communicates with a stranger for the first time, the individual experiences a certain level of anxiety and uncertainty (Neuliep, 2015). During my encounter with X, I was very anxious as well as uncertain about how to approach her. This is because I had limited knowledge about her cultural background. The AUM theory holds that individual need to manage their anxiety and uncertainty during intercultural communication to not only manage their behaviour but also to predict that of their hosts. During the encounter, I found myself absorbed in the interaction after learning more about X. According to Neuliep (2015), an individual has a minimum and maximum threshold for the degree of anxiety and/or uncertainty he or she can handle. This threshold often differs among individuals, and it usually depends on culture and the individual.
References
Moses, M., & Russ, M. (2014). Family Matters: Forced marriage. Tennessee Bar Journal. P. 32-34.
Neuliep, J.W. (2015). Intercultural Communication: A contextual Approach. Los Angeles, CA: SAGE Publications, Inc.
