Naturally, humans are wired as social beings and are therefore obliged to associate and relate to each other in one way or the other. The lack of connections with other humans or intimate relationship may contribute to the feeling of loneliness. Loneliness is a subjective feeling that is emotional and differs from one person to the other depending on their perspective or the unmet need. On the other hand, different scholars and research experts have a different definition of the scope of loneliness from one individual to another based on various situations and causes. In this paper, we shall focus on what loneliness is, to different people but work with the most relevant definitions. Besides, we shall identify some of the reasons people may end up feeling lonely. In consideration of the UCLA scale, we will also recognize how loneliness is measured. The interviews conducted will help compare the different aspects of loneliness from various individuals and what are the situations that contributed to their feeling of isolation. Moreover, we shall concentrate on the perspectives of isolation from the people who participated in the interviews conducted.
Literature Review
Many identify isolation as a feeling of being alone and isolated from other people or missing the connection and association of others that they were used to at one point in their lifetime. It is also the emotion of distress that is associated with some life issues and chronic diseases like depression. According to Chris Martin (2013), Loneliness is a subjective feeling of being in a position that one’s needs are not adequately met which also differ from one individual to the other. The definition of this kind of emotion is mostly experienced by couples who miss out on the needs of the other partner. Moreover, Martin argues that loneliness is an emotional isolation rather than a social isolation that many perceive it to be. As for Daniel Perlman and Letitia Anne Peplau (1982) focus on the several of theoretical aspects of loneliness that different sociologists and psychologists have highlighted on, and they compare and evaluate the approaches identified. Some of the approaches identified that will be emphasized in the paper include phenomenological, psychodynamic, sociological, existential-humanistic, cognitive, integrationist, privacy, cognitive and systems theory.
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From the various perspectives and definitions of loneliness, the most appropriate to this paper is the experience of distress that one may feel when the connection or relationship with other individuals is considered minimal in quantity and quality compared to what they desire. On the other hand, it is a feeling that is subjective in the sense that persons may feel lonely even when they are around people whereas others even in their isolated places may not feel alone or lonely. Some situations highly contribute to the feeling of loneliness that may include the death of close friends and family members or an unfamiliar environment with different cultures from the usual. While people may have differed perspectives on loneliness and aspects that may lead to them feeling lonely, psychologists reckon that loneliness is a trait that is stable in the sense that depending on the circumstance the emotion tends to fluctuate from time to time. Therefore, loneliness can be identified as an emotion that is psychological and may rely on the individual view and environment that contributes to the distressing feeling of solitude.
Sociology of Loneliness
As mentioned earlier, loneliness as most social scientists views it is inclined to the universal desire that people need in comparison to what they get or have. Furthermore, it is observed as the experience and deficiency on the vital networks or connections between individuals who matter in one’s life. The lack of one’s desires can arise from various circumstances like the scarcity of intimate relationships either from friends or family members. On the other hand, loneliness is prevalent to the whole society whereby people in marriages, veterans, students, families and those who are significantly developed in careers. Others may experience isolation from the time of their infantry considering that their biological mothers may end up dead after childbirth. The mother – child attachment at the period of lactation ensures that the bond between the mother and the infant strongly develops to enhance the dependency of the child to the mother. On the contrary, some kids who may have guardians and biological parents may end up in the private zone of loneliness due to lack of proper care given to them, whereas those who may have lost their parents especially the mother may end up being raised by loving, concerned and caring individuals. Domenech - Abella et.al. (2017) highlight that loneliness is associated with chronic emotions that are psychological like depression and anxiety.
What makes people feel lonely?
Different elements lead to loneliness or feeling of being solitude from one person to the other since it is an emotion that is defined by scientists, research experts, and medics as a state of mind rather than the social issue. Therefore, it solely depends on an individual’s desires, what they have or gets and perspective towards loneliness. According to Kendra Cherry (2017), Loneliness is an emotion that is genetically linked as explained by Dr. Cacioppo, a psychologist. Other cases of loneliness can be led by the low self-esteem in a person who is a high factor to withdrawal, isolation, and solitude. Physical separation from people who matter in one’s life can be another factor of loneliness especially in the cases of divorce, the death of loved ones or move to a different location than the usual one. As a psychological condition, loneliness has health implications to its victims that may include depression, suicide, cardiovascular complications, memory loss, drug abuse, alcoholism and antisocial behavior among other illnesses.
Cases of Loneliness
In the cases of isolation that we shall highlight, we shall make use of the UCLA Scale which was developed and derived from the name of its developers from the University of California, Los Angeles. According to the Fetzer Institute, the UCLA Scale is represented by four letters ‘O,’ ‘S,’ ‘R,’ and ‘N,’ which are represented by ‘3,’ ‘2,’ ‘1,’ and ‘0’ respectively. On the other hand, ‘O’ states that an individual Often feels in a particular way, while ‘S’ is for Sometimes, ‘R’ for Rarely and ‘N’ for Never (Bruce, 1983).
Some of the cases include that of a student who went to study abroad in one of the international Universities that was miles away from their native home. Despite the fact that he was surrounded by fellow students in the class, dormitories and all over the school, Ken not his real name felt alone and in a world that was different. Moreover, he was an introvert and kept a lot to himself and never had the confidence to meet and make friends. He experienced that for a long time until one of his room-mate ensured that he engaged him in most of the social networks and school clubs.
Among the questions which Ken had to answer from the interview I conducted included:
I have nobody to talk to
I cannot tolerate being so alone
I feel as if nobody understands me
I am no longer close to anyone
Ken’s response by the UCLA Scale was ‘O,’ ‘S,’ ‘S,’ and ‘O.’ Therefore the measure of Ken’s loneliness was 3 + 2 + 2 + 3 which equates to 10 which is very high.
Maria is a five year old girl whose childhood was surrounded with so much laughter, joy and happiness. Her source of happiness was the environment in which she wa brought up in where she was able to play, dance in the rain, pick flowers in the field with her two cousins Bella, Anna and friend Rick. They would accompany her uncle to the lake to fish and ride on the boat to other shores. Together they would chase squirrels and rabbits in the fields and stay around the fire in the evenings sharing great moments. Unfortunately all that had to change when her parents from the city came to pick her so she could join them to the busy environment. While she was happy to reunite with her parents, she was so confused of how she would cope with the drastic changes. Maria would stay locked in her room wishing that her cousins and friend were around. Her parents were ever busy and she spent most of her time in school and with the nanny. From the interview, Maria stated that she often felt unhappy doing things alone and that she had no one to talk to. On the other hand, she claimed that more often she felt alone and had no one to turn to. Maria’s UCLA Scale was highest considering that she often considered herself locked out from her true happiness.
A fascinating interview was with Mrs. White who was married for seven years. She claimed that after her marriage most of her networks with friends from her singlehood were disconnected. As years passed, her husband had become busy with his career and their intimacy was slowly diminishing. With no child to attend to the house was too big for Mrs. White who had turned to her dog for company. She asserted that she sometimes felt alone and often felt isolated from others. Among the feelings that she rarely felt included the lack of someone to turn to since she would vent on her dog since she felt that her secrets were safe. The UCLA Scale of Mrs. White’s measure of loneliness was slightly lower considering that she would turn to her loyal friend – the dog.
Rebecca on the other hand was a sickly granny who had stayed for long in the nursing home. According to her, the first years were difficult since she felt as if her family members had abandoned her. Slowly she developed friendship with her nurses and ward mates. After some years she felt welcome and happy considering the love and care she received. On the other hand, her nurse Laura became withdrawn from her family and friends because of the long periods in the nursing home. Despite the fact that she gave care, love and closure to her patients, she felt alone. She often felt like no one would listen to her and sometimes had no one to confine to. Another case was that of a soldier who despite coming back home to his family and friends, he felt lost and unaware of how he could relate with his loved ones. His experiences, depression and post trauma had led to his lack of connection with the family. Despite their efforts to engage him with the family issues and things that mattered, he was not in a position to feel in place.
Loneliness can at times be inevitable since it’s a state of the mind. Moreover, it is an emotional feeling that does not except particular persons in relation to their position, class or family structure. It is variable from person to person due to the difference in their perspective. The development of loneliness can lead to various adverse health conditions which may contribute to the decrease in the social association with friends and other associates. From the interviews, it is clear that the reasons and issues that lead to loneliness differ from one individual to the other. On the other hand, it is also evident that the lack of particular people like spouses, friends and family high contributes to loneliness among people.
References
Austin, B. (1983). Factorial Structure of the UCLA Loneliness Scale. Psychological Reports , [online] 53(3), pp.883-889. Available at: http://10.2466/pr0.1983.53.3.883 [Accessed 6 Jul. 2017].
Cherry, K. (2017, July 2). Causes and Health Consequences of Loneliness . Retrieved July 6, 2017, from VeryWell: https://www.verywell.com/loneliness-causes-effects-and-treatments-2795749
Domènech-Abella, J., Lara, E., Rubio-Valera, M., Olaya, B., Moneta, M., Rico-Uribe, L., Ayuso-Mateos, J., Mundó, J. and Haro, J. (2017). Loneliness and depression in the elderly: the role of social network. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology , [online] 52(4), pp.381-390. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28154893 [Accessed 6 Jul. 2017].
Martin, C. (2013, May 12). Loneliness: Sociological and Psychological Causes, and a Proposed Classification Scheme . Retrieved July 6, 2017, from LinkedIn: https://www.slideshare.net/chrismartin76/loneliness-sociological-and-psychological-causes-and-a-proposed-classification-scheme
Perlman, D., & Peplau, L. A. (1982). Loneliness: A Sourcebook of Current Theory, Research and Therapy. In D. Perlman, & L. A. Peplau, Theoretical Approaches to Loneliness (pp. 123 - 137). Newyork: A Wiley-Interscience Publication John Wiley & Sons.
