Wealth vs Happiness: Which is More Important?

Between diverse groups in the United States today, immigrants from Italy and from Pakistan both have had many different experiences as this country continues to move forward. In the past most immigrants made their move to the United States arriving from all countries with a preconceived notion of America. The reason for their move was very obvious, America was seen as the land of opportunity and these people were looking for a way to better their lives and the lives of their family members, in which some remained in their homeland. Many of these immigrants, if not all that immigrated never forgot their culture, traditions, and family heritage or those left behind. 

Immigrants have a strong will and desire to work in order to get a piece of the pie which made it extremely profitable for business owners. This in turn allowed the United States to grow into a great industrial power. Even though both races did not speak the language and were faced with discrimination, they learned English and worked hard in this land of opportunity. The individuals I chose to interview are Gio, Pat, and Mark, for the reason that each are immigrants that came to America at diverse ages with the same reason but from different countries, cultures, and traditions with each of them reaching various levels of success and contentment. Gio, age 32, and Pat age 55 arrived separately from Italy, and Mark age 8 arrived from Pakistan. 

Immigrants were typically working the least desirable jobs, some even working multiple jobs toward accomplishing their dreams. Jobs occupied in construction, factories, and in restaurants. The will to make it kept them focused on their dreams. All the workers, being immigrants, left a familiar place in their homeland to create new life in America. 

Immigrants and Discrimination 

Italians being thought to have mafia connections while Pakistanis are identified with terrorists’ connections are stereotypes these groups faced. Gio stated “On the weekends my friends and I would hang out at the coffee shop owned by someone with connections so everyone assumed we all were in the organized crime family.” All immigrants also have faced discrimination based on their appearance, customs, traditions, language, and religion however as people associate with others from different countries progress is being made knowing we are all part of the same race- the human race even though true equality among all people is slowly progressing. 

Religion is connected to culture and traditions for everyone, no matter how young or how old. Even though Catholicism and Islam are different religions they both have great emphasis on prayer, celebrating holidays and events, and family traditions with special food. Pat stated “It began even before I was able to speak with making the sign of the cross and I continue to pray every day.” These cultures do not dress the same, have the same holidays or food, language, or even pray the same but each value their own traditions shared with their family. Being different is a cause for discrimination by people in society that do not understand that we are all have the same wants and needs. 

Food is an important part of culture, having special food for different occasions. The scent of sweet cookies baking from recipes that have been passed down for generations such as Pat, my great-grandmother, like Pandoro, a sweet cake eaten on holidays and special occasions. Mark states “I enjoy sweet thais, small sweet cakes that are a part of every occasion.” Immigrants may all look different on the outside but we all eat, love, and pray in our own way. Everyone is equal in my eyes and I respect everyone and their faith as I would treat someone from my own faith. I feel this way because I believe that there is only one true God no matter what different religions call him. 

Baxter and Norwood (2015) illustrated that relational dialectics is among the interpersonal communication theories that attempt to explain various personal ties and relationships focusing on different tenets such as struggles, tensions, and how various contrary tendencies can interplay. It, therefore, attempts to focus on the various contradictions that can occur in a relationship. It is also vital to understand what a relationship means in the context of the relational dialects theory. It is a union involving two or more individuals from diverse backgrounds who compromise in various ways. Internal tensions are part and parcel of being in a relationship. As these pressures continue to exist in recurrent nature, the relationship will tend to sustain. 

The relational dialects theory can be used to assess the interpersonal relationship between the immigrants and the locals. The first critical tenet that can be assessed with regards to the relational dialects theory is openness and closeness. In any relationship consisting of two or more members, the partners expect openness as a way of maintaining a healthy and stable relationship ( Baxter, & Norwood, 2015). However, on analysis of how the locals view the immigrants, it is clear that there is a lack of openness in the relationship. Italians are viewed to have connections with the mafia while the Pakistanis are associated with terrorist connections. Another critical component of the theory that could be used to show a strained relationship between the locals and the locals and the immigrants is the autonomy and connectedness concept. Here, whereas an individual would want to have ties with others, they would also have the desire to maintain their unique individuality. Most of these immigrants understand that they have a connection with the locals that stems out from the fact that they all belong to the human race. However, they also have their unique way that defines their identity, a factor that has seen them being painted in the bad light such as the unwarranted association with terror and mafia groups. 

The relationship between these two forces is marked with intense contradictions. A contradiction is a primary concept of the relational dialectics theory because it highlights the differences and the tensions existing between two factions living together. Discrimination is primarily a result of contradiction that emanates from the idea that one person or groups of people are better than the others. It is through this premise that the locals have decided to discriminate the immigrants on the basis of customs, appearance, language, religion, and tradition among others. Through contradictions, people are able to visualize some of the differences that exist between them hence setting a center stage for discrimination. An example of a contradiction that is seen in the discussion is with religion where people view Catholicism and Islam as two different religions with regards to mode of prayer, food, holidays, and traditions among others. As such, through these contradictions, people do not see the fact that they are after similar needs and wants hence setting a background for discrimination against those whose practices are viewed or perceived to be less valuable. 

A third valuable facet of assessment of the discrimination theory would require an individual to employ the concepts of certainty and uncertainty. In this regard, it is critical to note that certainty is one of the factors that play a major role in bonding a relationship. It ensures that both parties in the relationship remain comfortable to perform their roles without necessarily leading to suspicion. However, on the other hand, uncertainty brews a lack of trust and suspicion which can lead to mistreatment of a person or a group of people because of wrong perceptions. Most of the actions and social activities of the immigrants have been looked at through the lenses of uncertainty. They have been perceived to be different from the outside, and some of their social activities look unacceptable to the locals hence furthering the presumed uncertainty. The locals do not even trust some of the most basic social activities such as the aspect of food, dressing, and holidays among others. However, the immigrants on the other hand attempt to build on this uniformity drawing in the concept of religion and the fact that there is only one God that exists despite the fact that he is known by different names. As such, people should trust each other, something that can mitigate the discrimination directed towards the immigrants. 

Self-Employment and Working for Others 

Immigrants found jobs all initially working for others in a particular field that similar immigrants helped them find. Gio states “my cousin found me my first job working in Manhattan in construction and landscaping. Then I moved up to being a foreman.” Pat states “I worked two jobs in Manhattan, day job in factory sewing and after grabbing a hotdog from the vendor was on the way to cleaning offices in a building.” Knowing it has a mission created for the community, Mark stated “I got a job in an auto mechanic shop paying very little but I was learning a trade and as I watched how the owner was wealthy, I also worked my way up from an auto mechanic to the auto shop owner.” 

There are many physical jobs available for immigrants but they were not the most desirable jobs, working in the elements of the outdoor weather or in not air-conditioned factories with machines that were dangerous if you were not careful. Mark says “no matter what job a person does, it matters and that all people learn from and depend on someone.” The younger people learn from the older people and each person made a choice of working for others or becoming self-employed. Gio states “I moved up in my field with a great Union having the best health and pension benefits.” Mark states “I worked and saved enough to buy my own business that is successful.” It seemed that women earned less and worked more hours for their wages. Pat states “I worked long days but wanted to contribute to the family.” I learned that a choice was made by each and that Mark who is self-employed and Gio who worked for a company both are wealthy. Patwho worked two jobs contributed to the family and was successful keeping the family happy and comfortable. Immigrants regardless of where they worked learned from more knowledgeable workers. Repair technicians are high in demand and since their services are needed year round, job security is high. It’s a job that a worker could advance in by becoming a skilled mechanic. 

In this scenario, one of the most fundamental concepts of relational dialectics that could apply is totality. Critical to appreciate is the fact that people who are in a relationship, regardless of their agreements or contradictions, must show a sense of interdependence. It is therefore imperative to note that when something happens to one member of a relationship, the other members will also likely be impacted or affected in one way or the other. From assessing the life of the immigrants, most of those who found the jobs were as a result of help from their immigrant counterparts. According to the accounts of Gio and Mark, both of them owe their successes to their fellow immigrants who assisted them as they rose through the ranks to become independent people in the society. As such, this proves the fact that indeed totality plays a role in a society where people have strong relationships and ties. Mark further illustrated that no matter the type of a job an individual engaged in, the younger people could learn tricks from the older ones hence gaining enough expertise needed to succeed in life. 

The fact that most of the immigrants rose through ranks to become independent mirrors another critical component of the relational dialectics known as the autonomy. Autonomy means the need to be an independent individual. It also involves the ability to perform things at without depending on the input of others. Rudick and Golsan (2014) intimated that autonomy could only be achieved when there is a sense of connectedness. The relational dialectics theory also emphasizes the need for people to stay close together. It further asserts that people should possess the desire to link their decisions and actions. On analysis of the context of the immigrants, autonomy and connectedness are two critical factors that enhanced their success n their new setting. As stated, many of the immigrants engaged in menial jobs that were not desirable to many. However, despite the harsh conditions presented by the nature of their work, most of them maintained a close relationship with each other through the connection. The younger people, for instance, ensured that they remained close with the older people in enhancing a sense of connection. The overall impact was that most of the immigrants such as Mark and Gio became successful and independent because of this. 

Wealth vs Happiness- Life’s Purpose 

It is true that the extraordinary people are those that question the senses they feel and connect them to the mind and search spiritually for a deeper meaning to live the best life they can live. Reflection is a skill that free up the mind from learned routines and traditions that will make the mind powerful and free that can be used to bring a person on one’s own unique path that leads to innovation and progress in society which is a declaration of the power of individuality. (Cottingham, Stoothoff, & Murdoch, 1984) Each person needs to be ‘the One’ in their own life journey, each making progress to free the mind limitations placed on them when living in the norm by following the rules of society that keeps them from living to their potential and fulfilling their true purpose. 

When the individual analyzes what he or she knows and sees what is true and what is not then the individual can free the mind of what is false and focus on what is real that will give meaning to the individual’s life and then by changing the actions to achieve the results is what will satisfy his or her personal purpose in life. ( Appadurai, 1986) Immigrants have the common thread of humanity because they have feelings and emotions having the basic needs to survive. 

The data collected reflects how immigrants who have arrived from different countries come to work together in any one field who also use this common service. Immigrants are very important to economic conditions which show that no matter what job a person is doing, it matters because it is fulfilling a need in society. Also, that all people depend on someone, for example, the younger people learn from the older people. All people find a means to survive physically by eating, drinking, and working and in the human aspect, intellectually by forming bonds with each other by sharing, talking, and cooperating. People from different races, ages, and cultures can and do learn from each other because of the common bond of being human having needs and emotions. In discovering a diverse community working together in any job shows that they behave like a family structure which makes sense after spending many hours a day together in a work relationship. 

According to Montgomery and Baxter (2013), balance and integration are two important facets of the relational dialectics theory. Balance is only achieved when two different opposing forces can compromise to achieve a common good. On the other hand, integration is achieved when behaviors are developed that will satisfy both sides that have some form of tension. Immigrants have arrived from different countries, and this has resulted in tension with the locals. However, through the concepts of balance and integration, the country can attain several benefits from the immigrants. The data collected shows that the immigrants have arrived from different countries and are now working towards the benefit of the country. As stated, immigrants are critically important to their host country. They engage in different jobs which have an important because they have a fulfilling role in the society. Through balance and integration, people can also connect and share values that that will help them in advancement. Also, people will get a means of survivability through the enhancing integration and balancing. It is also important to be cognizant of the fact that the world consists of people of different ages, races, and cultures. Therefore, the only way that the immigrants will benefit in the society is through balance and integration where they will find suitable platforms and conditions for giving their input to the society. 

Wealth and happiness are two vital tenets that will assist the immigrants to live a suitable life in their new settings. In this regard, two important components of the rational dialectics must be taken into consideration. One of the factors is known as a recalibration. Dumlao, & Janke, (2012) intimated that it involves the mitigating or reframing a tension so that there is no longer a tension or a conflict. The second critical concept is known as reaffirmation. It involves accepting tension as a normal part of a healthy relationship. The text discusses that the immigrants have a common thread of humanity because they have feelings and emotions having the basic needs to survive. When the locals, who are at war with the immigrants, are able to conform to the concepts of recalibration and reaffirmation, they will mitigate the possible tensions and oppositions that they could be having. As such, the two forces will enjoy a healthy relationship that will not only benefit the country socially but also economically, as everyone will have the necessary backing to undertake their duties diligently. 

Research Connections 

The immigrants have faced discrimination initially because of stereotypes that limited them to get jobs that others did not want in their various workplaces but worked and saved to obtain their dreams. Employers usually exploit their ‘immigrant’ employees by offering them low wages. There is clear evidence of this shown by the lifestyle of the immigrants. The immigrants experience high levels of food insecurity and have poor conditions of housing due to the lower salary by their employers (Judi & Karen, 2007). Mark remembers “we had cereal, rice, and milk for an entire year and lived in a basement before we could get a home large enough for the family.” 

There is a further portrayal of the discrimination of the immigrants by considering the kind of jobs offered to them. Many companies, for instance, in the US, take advantage of their desperation for employment by providing them low prestige jobs which most Americans will not be willing to do (Judi & Karen, 2007). Most of these jobs prove to be very risky and result in the injuries to the immigrants. Pat remembers “since I was paid by piece work, I had to work fast with machines and saw many coworkers get injured as a result.” 

Research shows that religious commitment also predicts greater meaning in life for Catholics (Tix, Dik, Johnson, & Steger) and I believe that statement to be true holding a sense of great significance. However, the discrimination of the immigrants is imbalanced across both genders. There is more discrimination of the females in the workplace as compared to their male counterparts (Drbohlav, 2014). Pat states “I made less money than my husband working two jobs but that is how it was.” 

Due to the continued discrimination of the immigrants, efforts of finding better jobs have initially proved unsuccessful. Immigrants obtaining a job usually are paid lower wages than others and the work is of little prestige and risky. This has been the reason behind the shifting of many immigrants towards self-employment. Statistics based on immigrants in Canada show that most of them are self-employed (Wang & Shunji, 2017). Similar research carried out in Spain indicates a higher rate of self-employment among the immigrants as compared to the native citizens of the nation (Begona & Venesa, 2015). 

Therefore, the immigrants prefer to be self-employed than to work for other people. The reasons are most probably due to the fear of landing poor paying jobs or experience on the same in addition to the discrimination of the immigrants when offering the white-collar jobs. Some of the immigrants who are highly skilled therefore prefer the self-employment rather than landing blue-collar jobs. 

Previously, the immigrants have been struggling with poverty. The poverty is because of the low employability rate of the immigrants or the low wages paid due to the high discrimination within the workplaces (Anna, 2016). Their poverty was a significant factor that contributed to their low level of happiness since they could hardly afford a healthy livelihood. 

However, with the changing times, the immigrants have seemingly started to be successful in the search for wealth and happiness despite the problems of discrimination that they have faced. Their source of wealth is mainly due to their decision to shift to self-employment through which they have skillfully turned around their lives by increasing wealth in the corporate world. In the United States, statistics indicate that the top 1 percent of the wealth owners constitute many immigrants from countries such as Europe, Asia, Cuba and Canada among others (Aronson & Kesiter, 2017). The statistics imply that the immigrants are rising against the discrimination in the job market by deciding to be their own employers and this is working pretty well and to their advantage. 

Consequently, the ability to increase more wealth has enabled them to afford a good lifestyle. More of the immigrants can now afford better housing and have access to more food than before. Considering these factors, it is now easy to say that they are happier than before. The hard work and determination of immigrants allowed them to strive to achieve the American dream. 

One critical component of the relational dialectics theory is known as praxis. Dumlao and Janke (2012) noted that the concept highlights how a relationship progresses as people continue to interact and communicate as they increasingly understand their needs. It also shows some sense of practicability that is found in the existence of a relationship despite the presence of the opposing views. However, the lack of praxis in a relationship means that there is lack of progress which will impact on how people interact and communicate with each other. Due to the lack of praxis in the community, the immigrants have failed to be associated with the day to day activities of the society as a result of a breakdown in interaction and communication. As such, most of the immigrants have experienced discrimination and stereotyping, two factors that have to a greater extent implicated on the welfare in the society. Most of the employers in the country have also exploited the immigrants giving them low wages and under appreciating them despite their efforts in building the economy of the country. Furthermore, a lack of praxis has further deepened the division between these two societies hence implicating on the economic viability of the immigrants. Some of the problems they have experienced in this regard include poor housing and food insecurity. The existence of praxis in such a society could have played a significant role in enhancing tolerance and diversity which would ensure that all the immigrants are incorporated as valid members of the society. 

Another important aspect of the relational dialectics theory is known as predictability. According to Grusec and Hastings (2014), predictability means that there are consistency and stability in a relationship. It also enhances reliability, consistency, and dependability in a relationship. However, when a relationship lacks these critical ingredients, there is a huge possibility that conflict and opposition will continue to exist. However, since most societies that have immigrants lack predictability, it sets a platform for their suffering and living in dilapidated conditions. Most immigrants are given poor jobs because employers take advantage of their desperation. Such incidences are witnessed in the US where immigrants are given jobs that the locals could not take. Such a scene depicts a lack of predictability as seen with a deficiency in reliability, consistency, and dependability. As such, the immigrants are forced to take jobs that pose a high risk to their health and predispose them to various forms of injuries. Due to such prospects, many immigrants would rather embrace a tenet of relational dialectics theory known as autonomy where they tend to prefer self-employment. Immigrants venture into self-employment because of the poor working conditions that they are exposed when working for the locals. 

Personal Connections 

After interviewing the participants and researching these family-work themes I found that things that mattered to them in the past also matter to me and is still relevant in the present as it reflects an important stage in life which is to find life’s purpose that will result in true happiness (Lipsitz, 1990). The knowledge acquired through interviewing these individuals is reflective of living a fulfilling life giving great insight for true happiness where there is no better place to have this opportunity than living in this great country of America. Having a happy life is a common factor that all people want to achieve since the beginning of time which is why it is represented in work-family themes that continue to inspire each person regardless of their background. Family and faith affects my life and the way I live by striving to be the best that I can be while going after my dream of becoming a professional baseball player. Working hard and relying on family and faith helps me make good decisions and choices to achieve my goals. Every individual is on a path in life in search of his or her personal purpose in life. 

One thing that I found valuable after interviewing these participants is how each had a dream to fulfill and by working hard and knowing the importance of family and faith each was successful. Every individual is connected equally wanting to strive for and live their best life without one being superior to another. It doesn’t matter where they came from but each will make their own decision about answers to questions of life as they examine their culture, traditions, and ideas no matter the religious orientation. 

What I found most meaningful from the interviewees is that it shows a common bond across all humans and our quest to live the best possible life that is achieved through hard work and determination. The other things that have influenced was when I first fell in love with the game of baseball. From the first time I joined a team, to playing different positions and being successful at it, I knew this was where I wanted to be. Having coaches, teammates, family and friends who support me and believe in me is icing on the cake. I know that w hat is most important cannot be bought but are love and happiness and e ach interviewee has taught me that so I will continue on my journey of life as I strive for and achieve the American dream as it is defined by me. 

The theory of relational dialectics underscores the relationship that exists between the locals and the immigrant people. The theory has enabled me to appreciate that tension between two opposing sides can be mitigated when the factions appreciate the differences they have and view them as strengths. Equally, it has also given me valuable insights on how factions can compromise on their stands to enable a relationship to be functional. Immigrants face many problems in their new areas of settlement because it becomes increasingly difficult to establish relationships. Some of the vital tenets presented by the relational dialectic theory that are vital in the enhancement of a potentially troublesome relationship include openness, totality, praxis, connectedness, autonomy, and predictability among others. The theory has also highlighted some of the reasons why immigrants would tend to be discriminated against in their new environments by citing concepts such as denial, segmentation, and a lack of balance and integration amongst others. 

The theory can be used to explain not only the various forms of discriminations but also how the immigrants can forge a relationship with the locals and among themselves in a bid to ensure that they improve their conditions. For instance, through the concepts of connectedness and autonomy, the theory has helped me in identifying the mechanisms that the immigrants can apply in forming strong bonds with people to ensure that they improve the already poor conditions in which they are in. In this regard, the immigrants will be moving towards another vital principle of the relational dialect theory known as autonomy. Therefore, the theory has given me immense insights and knowledge by looking at the issue of immigrants through sociological lenses and highlighting various solutions that they can put to avert their situations in the host country. It also gives information on how the locals, who are painted as extremists, can develop a better mentality that would enable them to become more accommodative to people with a different mentality and philosophy to theirs. 

References 

Anna , G.P. (2016, October 18). Influences of workplace discrimination on Mexican immigrant parents and their families. Retrieved March 18, 2018, from National Institutes of Health : https://obssr.od.nih.gov/influences-of-workplace-discrimination-on-mexican-immigrant-parents-and-their-families/ 

Baxter, L. A., & Norwood, K. M. (2015).  Relational dialectics theory . John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 

Dumlao, R. J., & Janke, E. M. (2012). Using Relational Dialectics to Address Differences in Community-Campus Partnerships.  Journal of Higher Education Outreach and Engagement ,  16 (2), 151-175. 

Grusec, J. E., & Hastings, P. D. (Eds.). (2014).  Handbook of socialization: Theory and research . Guilford Publications. 

Montgomery, B. M., & Baxter, L. A. (Eds.). (2013).  Dialectical approaches to studying personal relationships . Psychology Press. 

Rudick, C. K., & Golsan, K. B. (2014). Revisiting the relational communication perspective: Drawing upon relational dialectics theory to map an expanded research agenda for communication and instruction scholarship.  Western Journal of Communication ,  78 (3), 255-273.