A folkway is an informal expectation and rule that guides daily behavior in the society (Kendall, 2013). Examples include proper appearance, table manners, etiquette, use of cell phones in certain places, handshakes during introductions, and opening doors for seniors. In this paper, I reflect on an instance I was deviant in the past.
There was an instance in the past in which I was required to attend a funeral ceremony. During such occasions, people usually and are expected to dress appropriately, but I remember dressing as if I was going to a sporting event. I did not know about folkways then, but I remember that I was uncomfortable around people and most people I passed by stared at me. I knew something was wrong and even some of my friends inquired about my appearance.
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At my dressing room, I did not feel or consider that anything was wrong or that people would stare at me. I remember boarding a bus to the ceremony and while on the bus nobody was bothered about my dressing by either unusually staring at me or asking me why I dressed that way. Besides, passengers on the bus had also dressed differently and nobody was bothered by another’s way of dressing.
I only noticed people staring at me unusually after arriving at the ceremony. However, I discovered that I was the only person who had dressed differently and concluded that my way of dressing was inappropriate. At the ceremony, people had dressed in official attire like suits, ties and official shoes, but I was dressed in jeans, t-shirt and sports shoes. There was nothing I could do because I could not return back home to change as the ceremony had already started and I was compelled to sit at the back to avoid people staring at me.
Today I understand why people were staring at me and what I had done to make them do that. I had violated a vital norm in relation to attending an important ceremony in the society (Kendall, 2013). I had dressed inappropriately since the attire I had put on that day was for a completely different occasion. While the behavior I exhibited was not regarded as crucial to the welfare of the people around me, they still reacted by staring at me. My friends considered me as being odd because of my appearance that day. I believe some people at the ceremony even ridiculed me silently. The reaction of people towards me was a way of sanctioning my behaviour to let me know that I was doing something out of the norm (Kendall, 2013). They could not call the police to arrest me for dressing inappropriately since inappropriate dressing did not threaten them (Kendall, 2013). However, they reacted mildly by staring at me as a control mechanism to ensure that I learn from my mistake. Through the reaction of the people around me, I managed to understand my mistake and learned a vital folkway in my society.
In conclusion, folkways are vital in our daily life and are basic to every social situation. Most of us take them for granted because they are woven into the fabric of social life. We only notice that we have violated a folkway through the mild reactions of people around us. We typically conform to folkways but failure to conform may attract ridicule, unusual gazes or avoidance.
Reference
Kendall, D. E. (2013). Sociology in Our Times (11th ed.). Indepence, KY: Wadsworth Publishing.
