The struggle with drug addiction no longer creates headlines as it has overtime become a cliché: however, a story that seeks to clearly establish that clichés are what we need to fight the age-old war with juvenile addiction is definitely a breath of fresh air. Every father desires the very best for his son and it is a painful experience when the father’s very best efforts fails to alter the self-destructive course of a beloved son who erstwhile was great enough to be called ‘beautiful’, by his dad of all people. Whereas many marvelous, complex, complicated, and extremely expensive ways and means have been developed and practiced to fight juvenile addiction to hard drugs, Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction by David Sheff, takes a different path of simply taking one day at a time towards possible and probable freedom from drug addiction.
Overview of the Book
Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey through His Son's Addiction is a true story by David Sheff a journalist by profession and the dotting father of Nic Sheff and his siblings. Nic is an exemplary son who is doing well academically and in extra curriculum activates and the apple of his father’s eye. It is also worthy of notice that David is a modern day ‘hip’ dad who believes in the “Management by Walking Around” kind of fatherhood and loves ‘hanging out’ with his son and spending quality time with him by doing what he imagines his son’s age mates would enjoy doing including experimenting with mild drugs like marijuana: he is however, a conscientious and committed father who believes in always doing what is right for his children in all avenues including discipline.
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Unfortunately, Nic experiments with the drug methamphetamine and as is common with synthetic hard drugs, he is immediately addicted to it. As a normal consequence to his addiction, he develops criminal tendencies to support his insatiable desire for more drugs including stealing from his parents and younger siblings and pathologically lying to cover up for his failings. The author dutifully and fervently struggles to both study and apply all available avenues of assisting his son beat his addiction and continuously loves and cares for Nic, even when the later becomes a security risk for the family due to his criminal tendencies and an embarrassment after his well-publicized arrest and subsequent incarceration. David also suffers humiliation and self-reproach due to his son’s struggle with addiction and is forced to attend support meetings for his son’s and even his own good: it also adversely and almost fatally affects his health. As at the book was written, Nic seemed to be winning the war against addictions, with emphasis on the word ‘seemed’.
Explicit Thesis
Considering that the instant book is more of a story about an addict’s father and his struggle with a son who is fighting the addictions, the thesis thereof is not only explicit but also well expounded and finally evaluated. This thesis is: the three Cs, you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. From the beginning of the writer’s struggle with addiction, this thesis is introduced and developed as the writer struggles with the three elements thereof, finally, he concludes by stating conceding to two out of the three elements to wit: you can’t control it and you can’t cure it, but remains continuously struggling with and/or disputing the first element, being: you didn’t cause this.
The book and substance abuse
By the time substance abusers reach noticeable levels, they are already weak, sick, and unstable to the point that they cannot rationally assist themselves and only the very strong-willed manage to pull themselves out of the destructive cycle of substance abuse before it ruins their live irrevocably: however, if there is found a caring and committed third party caretaker, be it a parent, family member or spouse, there is a higher chance of the substance addict being assisted through the exertions of this third party. This book gives a day to day experience of a third party in the war between substances and their abusers and draws a clear picture of the relationship between the three parties and the effects it has either in exacerbating or improving the abusers situation.
Among the great lessons learnt include; the third party caretaker suffers as much as the substance abuser and may even suffer fatal repercussions as almost happened to the author, determination is fundamental for a third party caretaker as circumstances will arise that may create the temptation to give up and let fate, substance abusers are almost always pathological liars: as much as the caretaker should endeavor to create mutual trust, all facts should be evaluated and counter-checked and not taken on the mere word of the substance abuser, and finally, the caretakers need to be instructed on the right thing to do as they are in a position to either cause damage of do good; they should also be taken care of too, for if they succumb, chances are the substance abuser, through either guilt of lack of attention will succumb too.
The Book as a personal observation piece
It is said that he who has an experience is much better than he who has merely learnt about something. This book is about a man’s true journey with a substance abusing son. It gives a clear outline of all the steps taken in assisting the abuser and the effects they have had on him. There are stories about victories and happy times accompanied by eventual failings and desperate times as happens in the seesaw of substance abuse and addiction. Finally, it also tells the story of hope in the midst of desperation, hope that albeit the addict and his family seem to be losing battle after battle, the eventual war shall be won. It is worthy of notice that nothing new is being taught in the book, just a story of ordinary folks solving a well-known problems in well-known ways and keeping on keeping on, even as they hope for victory.
Personal Opinion
Many people tend to look for extra-ordinary solutions for what they term to be extra-ordinary problems, I however applaud and appreciate the author’s level-headedness as after studying all there was to study about substance abuse, he picked the beaten path and stuck to it. This unwavering approach is a major lesson both to myself and any social worker who may find himself dealing with a situation like the one the author and his family went through: you so not have to invent the wheel as that was done millennia ago, just learn how to use the wheel and adjust it to yourself, to align with the solutions that have already been tried and tested.
Conclusion
Substance abuse is a major family, health, academic and economical predicament in our current times that must be taken seriously and carefully handled. Among the most important approaches to resolving this issue is the one premised on family, spousal or fraternal support which is what this great book addresses. It is important for those close to potential addicts to keep a vigilant eye for the telltale signs as the earlier the problem is detected the better to resolve it. Further, if the misfortune of a full blown addiction happens, it is vital for these family members or friends to endeavor to learn the right approach and solution to the situation and apply it relentlessly. This are among the major themes embodied in David Sheff’s Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey through His Son's Addiction.
