Conflict Management and Mediation

TASK NUMBER 1 

A conflict can be defined as a serious disagreement or argument between two parties. This may come as a result of differing opinions on a specific topic of discussion. While growing up, I have encountered a number of conflicts with those around me including my friends, my family and even teachers in school. An example of a conflict I once had was between me and my mom. Now, my mom is the kind of person who will confront you directly whenever she feels you have done something wrong. She is never afraid of anyone, not even my dad and as such, I was always afraid of talking to her about anything. 

The conflict between me and my mom always came as a result of my grades in school. Whenever I used to give her my end of term report, she would always yell at me because she believed I had not met her expectations as far as my grades were concerned. It reached a time when I decided to hide my results from her and when she found out, all hell broke loose. She yelled and screamed at me, calling me all sorts of names because she believed I was not putting enough effort in my studies. In my defense, I also talked back and tried to explain that she was never understanding. This went on for a while as we exchanged words until my dad intervened. The problem with my mom is that she never wanted to hear my side of the story. At that time in my life, I was not so social with other kids in school and as such, other schoolmates always bullied me. There was this particular kid who always took my lunch after I got to school. 

My mom did not know this because she was the kind of person who would yell at you even if you are the victim. Now, bullying had affected my studies over the last three years ever since I had joined that school. I could not pay attention in class because I always knew that after school, I would be harassed by the notorious school bullies. I had tried to report the issue to my teacher but after she summoned the perpetrators, things got even worse and as such, I decided not to report the incident to anyone. This went on for a while until it reached a time when I lost my interest in learning and gave up on my lifelong dream of becoming a pilot, because I love flying a lot. I therefore paid less attention in class and decided to be a carefree student. I had been summoned to the principal’s office a couple of times but I did not improve at all. Both my parents had also been summoned but still I did not seem to be improving in my academics. 

These conflicts that I always had with my mom had a negative impact on our relationship. As years went by, our connection drifted and I became distant with my mom. I never told her anything, even if she could help because I always felt as if she never understood me anymore. It was at that time when my dad decided to hold negotiations between me and my mom, that I broke in tears and explained to them why I was failing in school. I explained to my mom why I was always afraid of her and why I had been distant lately. From the look in her eyes, I could tell that she felt my pain. She got to understand my feelings and tried to explain why she was so tough on me, so that I would not end up as our neighbor’s son who had dropped out of school. It turned out that none of us were willing to talk to the other because we were afraid to confront our fears. The positive side of these conflicts is that they brought the issue to the open and led to a path of resolution. We were able to understand our differences and unify our bond to discuss the issue from a positive point of view. For the first time since my childhood, I was able to reconnect with my mom and develop stronger emotions with her. From that time, the bullies were dealt with in school and I finally got back on track as far as my academics were concerned. 

TASK NUMBER 2 

Conflicts can occur within any environment and as such, it is imperative for people to understand the importance of negotiation as a conflict resolution strategy ( Doherty & Guyler, 2008 ). Below are the steps that one can take to oversee a successful negotiation process. According to Uri, there are five main steps that can be adopted as a means of achieving a successful negotiation process. They are listed below. 

Go to the balcony. In this step, it is important to understand the importance of limiting control over the other side’s behavior. Conversely, one needs to control their own behavior so that they can prevent themselves from counterattacking whenever the conflicting party launches an attack or says no to the proposed solution. Uri (1993) notes that people in conflict need time to think straight so that they can reflect on their interests and BATNA. There is need to maintain focus on the goal of the negotiation and as such, reactions are discouraged because they will derail the process. 

Step to the opponent’s side. A good negotiator needs to ensure that they have created a favorable environment before they start the process. Feelings of fear, anger, suspicion and hostility need to be dealt with because they will limit the success of the process. Since the other party expects constant attacks and resistance from you, there is need to do the opposite by listening to them and acknowledging their arguments. If there is a scenario where one can agree with their point, then they need to do so as a means of recognizing their authority and stepping to their side ( Fisher, Ury & Patton, 2011 ). 

Reframe the situation. One needs to be prepared for anything during a negotiation process. Changing the game is therefore a very important skill as it will provide room for countering the arguments in a positive manner. According to Fisher, Ury & Patton, (2011) rejections are discouraged because they will inspire the other side to dig deeper into the conflict and widen the drift of disagreements. Problem solving questions need to be asked as a means of dealing with the issue at hand. Alternatives should be offered as a means of kindly suggesting a change in the proposed solution. Reframing provides one with an opportunity to deflect incoming attacks while exposing the other side’s tactics. This presents a learning opportunity for both sides with a reasonable alternative to the conflict. 

Build a Golden Bridge. When this stage is reached, it means that the negotiation process can commence. It is, however, imperative to understand that the other side may not be fully convinced of the arguments that were presented in the earlier stages. Any attempt to push for the solution will therefore lessen the likelihood of them giving in. Conversely, there is need to consider their stance and draw them to the side they would want to go. They should be put in a position that they support so that it would be easier for them to say yes. During this procedure, they should be directly involved in developing the solution and as such, their ideas should count. Any interests that may be left out should be considered so that the negotiation is not one-sided. By building a golden bridge, the other party gets to emerge victorious in an otherwise irreconcilable situation. 

Use Power to Educate. After all the steps have been completed, there may still be a chance that the other side may still say no to the solution. If they are resistant to negotiation, then there is need to educate them so that they can view the issue from your perspective. They need to understand the costs and consequences of not agreeing to the proposed solution. Uri (1993) notes that one may be tempted to threaten or force them to give in but in most cases, this will often backfire. The other party will be strongly motivated to use all their resources to ensure they emerge victorious without a negotiation process. They therefore need to be educated on the reality of the situation so that they can gain trust on a solution that has mutual benefits to both parties. 

TASK NUMBER 3 

In unit one, students are expected to gain knowledge in the issue of conflicts, its neutrality and how it can have both positive and negative impacts on the conflicting sides. There is need for one to understand why conflicts occur so that they can take the necessary steps to ensure they solve them once they get entangled in one. Communication is a very important within any organization. Since conflicts are inevitable and can occur at any place, people need to avoid getting into disagreements with others by trying to consider the needs of their workmates, friends or family members. The lessons that are taught in unit one are very important because they will equip me with knowledge for successful negotiation skills. I have encountered conflicts in almost every aspect of my life. There are cases where I lost good relationships with some friends because I did not know anything about conflict management. This lesson has, however, shed light on the need to understand why conflicts occur. I will now be able to put what I have learned into practice and teach others on the importance of negotiation. Consequently, I will also embrace what I have learned in class and apply it to my everyday life so that I can deal with conflicts in a more positive manner. 

TASK NUMBER 4 

PART ONE 

There was a time when I had moved in to a hostel where there was a very noisy neighbor next door. At first, I just thought that maybe he would turn down the volume of their music but once I stayed there for a while, I realized that that was his behavior for most part of the day. I had complained to him multiple times but he never seemed to care about what my concern. It reached a time where I had to spent time outside so that I could have peace of mind. When I finally could not put up with his loud music, I decided to confront him for the last time and if it did not work, I would go and report him to the hostel administration. Before doing this, I had conducted my research about him and realized that on every Tuesday, he used to eat chicken barbeque pizzas in the evening, so I decided to go with one on that day and offer him some company for the evening. My idea was to use negotiation as a means of solving the conflict that existed between us. I raised my complaint to him and apparently, he also knew that he was not doing the right thing, but he still loved loud music. After discussing the interests of both sides, we decided to evaluate all options for the conflict. At the end of the day, we decided that he was allowed to play loud music for some part of the day as long as it was not too loud. We came to an amicable solution that favored both our interests. 

PART TWO 

Power can be defined as the ability of an individual to influence situations or people. Different types of power can have a very significant effect on the outcome of a negotiation process ( Press.Rahim & International Association for Conflict Management, 1990 ). For instance, power can come from a position at the work place or in the society. An individual with this kind of power has the ability to influence decisions based on their position. The second type of power can come from expertise or knowledge in a particular situation or topic. It is imperative for people to understand that the application of knowledge in life situations confers power. This implies that if such an individual happens to be a mediator, they will have to take time and gather all the necessary information and facts about a particular problem before making any decision. There is need for one to find out the goals and interests of both parties before starting the negotiation process ( Roche, Teague & Colvin, 2014 ). The first rule of power in any negotiation is that in most cases, both sides have power of the situation. Even if one side is an employee and the other an employer, the former still has power in their own designation. They have the power to execute their tasks at work freely as long as they have been given the mandate by the organization as a part of their responsibility in the job description. In this case, the employer has no right to prevent his employee from executing their daily task. 

In many establishments, the negotiation process is guided by the aforementioned types of powers and as such, this will influence negotiators in different ways at the bargaining table ( Eunson, 2007 ). For instance, one type of power describes lack of dependence on others and as such, it directly influences the outcome of the negotiating style that will be used. Power in the negotiation process sets positive moods and paves way for the development of a potential solution to the problem ( Pammer & Killian, 2003 ). Powerless individuals will not be successful when it comes to conflict management because they will have very little capability in finding a sound solution to the problem. They will not be able to build an environment of trust, respect and understanding because the conflicting parties will not view the mediator as a qualified party. There is therefore need for an intercessor to have relevant knowledge in the conflict so that they can apply it to bring the two parties to a common ground. In addition to this, an individual who is at a higher position at the work place will be respected as a good mediator because they have power within the organization. Consequently, the warring parties would feel comfortable sharing their issues to this type of mediator because they respect and trust that their issue will be resolved in a fair and just manner. From the discussion provided above, it is evident that power has a very significant effect on the outcome of a negotiation process. In places where there is power, then there is a possibility that the problem will be solved amicably as long as the person with the power uses it wisely to resolve the root cause of the conflict. 

TASK NUMBER 5 

After his election to office, President Obama elicited mixed reactions and an atmosphere of rage and anger over a segment of Americans over his views on abortion. As a supporter of the practice, he was criticized for his beliefs, mainly by the Christian community. His invitation to speak to the graduating students of Notre Dame was received with outrage from the catholic community and antiabortion activists from the region. Many parties were outraged and led to wonder whether the institution adhered to the Roman Catholic’s condemnation of abortion. This did, not, however, stop President Obama from delivering his speech and airing his views on the heated topic. He was rather energized by the controversy of his appearance in the event and instead of openly showing his support for abortion, he called to the people to join hands for a common cause. 

Almost 90,000 people had signed a petition that demanded Notre Dame University in Indiana to withdraw its invitation to the president ( Rice, 2009 ). Many religious leaders promised to boycott the event because they felt as if they had been offended by the invitation of the president because the latter directly supported the destruction of human life. In his speech, Obama did not seem to be bothered by the sentiments of his opposition regarding this issue. He went on to address his audience with a calm tone even when some members of the audience interrupted him at the beginning of the speech. The president knew that communication was the key to a successful negotiation process and as such, he embarked on a mission to find a common ground with the people ( Sayre, 2014 ). Since he did not want to offend his audience, he did not dwell much on whether or not he supported the practice, but rather what can be done to reduce the number of women who abort every year. He expressed his concern for human life and as such, he advocated for the provision of quality health care services to pregnant mothers so that lives are not lost. He noted that his support for the practice was only fueled by his drive to save the lives of the women die as a result of unprofessional abortion services. Nevertheless, he explored other options that would help to ease the situation that he was dealing with. 

In his speech, Obama reached out to his audience and tried to address the indifference that existed between his own views and the state’s views on abortion (Rice, 2009). He urged the people to open their minds and hearts so that they can reach a common ground to the conflict they had. Even though the crowd was opposed to his claims at the beginning of his speech, he managed to connect with them on a personal level and appealed to their ethos, pathos and logos in an attempt to find a solution that would favor both sides. This is evident when he notes that “Maybe we won’t agree on abortion, but we can still agree that this heart-wrenching decision for any woman is not made casually, it has both moral and spiritual dimensions” (Obama, 2009). He urged the people to work together with his administration so that they could reduce the number of women who were seeking abortions. It is imperative for one to note the type of technique that President Obama used in his approach towards resolution. Instead of directly opposing the beliefs and opinions of the state, he decided to develop an alternative that would help to reduce the problem of discussion. By urging the people to find ways of reducing the number of unintended pregnancies and increasing more opportunities for adoption, he explored other options by considering the interests of the other party (Obama, Dionne & Reid, 2017). This is the main reason why the crowd applauded him when he made these remarks. This shows that he has exemplary negotiation skills that are backed up by his ability to use communication as a tool for reaching out to every member of the audience. 

Obama did not ask the people to embrace change immediately, or force them to believe in his ideology, but instead provided an amicable alternative that acted as a common ground both to his administration and to the people of the state. One notes that in his speech, he urges the people to take care of women who carry their pregnancies to the end of the term. He also pleads with them to honor those who disagreed with abortion, so that they could draft a sensible clause which will ensure that all the health care policies that were implemented worked in favor of societal ethics and the respect for women’s equality (Arnett, 2011). Even though Obama was an advocate for providing quality health care services to those women who wished to abort, he expressed his views at the beginning of the speech, but he did not directly oppose those who were against the practice. Since everyone was in agreement for the things that he had proposed, the audience approved the options that he had provided. 

At the end of the day, President Obama did not propose for the abolition of the debate surrounding abortion and neither did he offer a tyrannical solution to the conflict. He noted that no matter how people would want to come to a common ground regarding the pro-life issue, there was no possible way this would happen because the issue is complex and it would take years to develop an amicable solution for both sides. At some point, he acknowledged the fact that the views of Americans on the issue may be irreconcilable and as such, they will both try to make their cases to the public with passion and conviction. His solution to this conflict was to find a common ground that would ensure the issue of abortion is addressed without having to create more disagreements. 

TASK NUMBER 6 

In our daily lives, conflict management is a very essential skill that every individual needs to have if they wish to maintain positive relationships with others. In many situations, conflicts are normally brought as a result of differing opinions on a specific issue. Whereas it may be true that one party may be justified in its ideologies, one cannot just overlook the beliefs of the other. Different techniques can be used to manage conflicts depending on the level to which the conflict has escalated to. This lesson provides an insight into the factors that one must consider when dealing with a conflict. It also provides the potential methods that can be used to solve a disagreement between two parties. Gaining this knowledge is very important to me because it adds value to my life and sheds light on the need to manage conflicts, whether in school, at the workplace or at home. It molds me to become a better person and enables me to view things differently now that I have gained knowledge on this skill. I will be able to apply what I have learned in my everyday life to solve conflicts that may arise between those who are around me. In addition to this, this lesson also adds value to my ambition of becoming a leader in future. 

References 

Arnett, R. C. (2011). Civic Rhetoric—Meeting the Communal Interplay of the Provincial and the Cosmopolitan: Barack Obama's Notre Dame Speech, May 17, 2009.  Rhetoric & Public Affairs , 14(4), 631-671. 

Doherty, N., & Guyler, M. (2008).  The essential guide to workplace mediation & conflict resolution: Rebuilding working relationships.  Philadelphia, PA: Kogan Page, Ltd. ISBN 0749450193, ISBN 978-0749450199. 

Eunson, B. (2007).  Conflict management . Milton, Australia: John Wiley & Sons. 

Fisher, R., Ury, W., & Patton, B. (Ed.). (2011).  Getting to yes: Negotiating agreement without giving in  (Rev. ed.) New York, NY: Penguin Books. ISBN 0143118757, ISBN 978-0143118756. 

Obama, B. (2009). Remarks by the President in commencement address at the University of Notre Dame.  Commencement address, University of Notre Dame , South Bend, IN. 

Obama, B., Dionne, E. J., & Reid, J.-A. L. (2017).  We are the change we seek: The speeches of Barack Obama . London: Bloombury. 

Pammer, W. J., & Killian, J. (Eds.). (2003).  Handbook of conflict management . CRC 

Press.Rahim, M. A., & International Association for Conflict Management. (1990).  Theory and research in conflict management . New York: Praeger. 

Rice, C. E. (2009).  What happened to Notre Dame? South Bend, Ind: St. Augustine's Press. 

Roche, W. K., Teague, P., & Colvin, A. J. (2014).  The Oxford handbook of conflict management in organizations . Oxford: Oxford University Press. 

Sayre, K. M. (2014).  Adventures in philosophy at Notre Dame . Notre Dame: University of Notre Dame Press. 

Ury, W. (1993).  Getting past no: Negotiating in difficult situations  (Rev. ed.) New York, NY: Bantam Books. ISBN 0553371312, ISBN 978-0553371314.