Death is one of the most painful events in life, even though it is inevitable. It always results in a traumatic and shocking experience for the bereaved. However, because death is inevitable, people must learn to cope with it. Thus, Nicholas Wolterstorff's memoir titled Lament for a Son helps readers in understanding the process of grieving after persons have lost their loved ones. Wolterstorff lost his son in premature death and his experience with the loss help readers and the society death and the process of grieving. Understanding the grieving process is essential because it helps individuals to overcome the pain of death easily.
The Medical and Philosophical Meaning of Death
Traditionally, medical professionals would declare a person dead if his heart or lacks fails to function completely. Therefore, death occurs when a person loses the capacity to breathe, and the heart fails to pump blood to the rest of the body. However, currently, with the advancement of medical technologies, a person is presumed dead if he or she experiences a total brain failure. Thus, in the medical field, death is defined based on the functioning of the critical organs of the body, such as heart, lung, and brain. On the contrary, according to the philosophical definition, death is mainly seen as the end of life, specifically the physical cessation of life (McGraw, 2016). For instance, Plato, one of the classical philosophers, defined death as the termination of terrestrial life that denies human beings the opportunity to access the ideal world. Thus, medical professionals and philosophers define death differently.
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Five Stages of Grief
Wolterstorff's experience, as depicted in Lament for a Son, can help in the identification and explanation of five stages of grief. Even though grief is a subjective phenomenon, and people experience it differently, it has five main stages that include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In the denial stage, people do not believe that they have lost a loved one through death, making them deny the occurrence. For instance, Wolterstorff finds it hard to believe that his son Eric has died ( Wolterstorff, 1987) . It takes him about three seconds to believe that Eric has died. The denial stage is essential in the process of grief because it reduces overwhelming pain. The second stage is anger, and it occurs because the bereaved are striving to cope with the new reality of death. For example, Wolterstorff experienced cold burning pain after he came into terms with the death of Eric.
The third stage is bargaining is when the bereaved start to direct their loss to a higher power such as God. For instance, Wolterstorff believes that God determines death, and there is nothing he could do to save his son ( Wolterstorff, 1987) . Also, he believes that the son will resurrect one day, as explained in the Bible. The fourth stage is depression, and it makes the bereaved less sociable, or it results in the feeling of isolation. Wolterstorff, for instance, feels that Eric did not deserve to die. The final stage is acceptance when a person now accepts death and starts to live a healthy life. Wolterstorff accepted the death of his son when he tells his family members to accept that Eric died and they must try to live a life that resembles his son.
How Wolterstorff Finds Joy after his Loss
Wolterstorff mainly finds Joy in the Scripture or religious belief after losing his son. He believes that he will reunite with his son one day, especially afterlife. Also, he believes in the resurrection of the dead, which gives him the hope of seeing his son again ( Wolterstorff, 1987) . Besides, Wolterstorff remembers some of the joyful moment he had with the son. Thus, religious beliefs and personal experience with the deceased gives Wolterstorff joy after the loss. Hence, the hope of resurrection played a significant role in comforting Wolterstorff, as it makes him sure of meeting his son again ( Wolterstorff, 1987) . The resurrection assures Wolterstorff that it is possible to have a reunion with the son. Religious beliefs play a critical in the process of grieving.
Meaning and Significance of Death in Christian Narrative
Death is viewed as a rite of passage in the Christian perspective, as people believe that a person must die to enjoy eternal life in heaven (McGraw, 2016). As a result, Christians believe that death should not create pain and sorrow among believers. However, death is still viewed as a strategy in the Christian narrative, mainly based on Wolterstorff’s experience, even though God can still redeem His people from the pain of loss. Thus, Christians are encouraged to view death positively, although it is a painful experience.
Importance of Understanding the Grieving Process in Different Faith Traditions
The grieving process differs from one faith tradition to another as death is marked differently across the globe. Thus, people should understand the grieving process in different faith traditions to easily cope with the loss in a cross-cultural environment (McGraw, 2016). Currently, with increased globalization, people across religious beliefs interact with one another, even in the time of grief. Knowledge of the process of grieving in different faith traditions is essential in overcoming the pain and loss associated with death.
Conclusion
Death is inevitable, although it is associated with pain. Wolterstorff’s experience explains how people feel and adjust after losing the loved ones. However, people need to understand the grieving process to cope with the loss. Importantly, religious beliefs can help people to cope with the pain of death. Christians should rely on Scripture to understand the meaning of death and how to cope with grief.
References
McGraw, R. (2016). Walking through grief by faith: Lessons from Lamentations 3:1-39. Puritan Reformed Journal , 8(2), 5-14.
Wolterstorff, N. (1987). Lament for a Son . Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing.
