I believe that adolescence is one of the unique periods associated with confusion and significant pain and this is the case because an adolescent is not a child or an adult. At this stage, most of our bodies will experience significant transformation while at the same time, our brain also changes which is then followed gradually by changes in our mental, emotional and even spiritual being. Most of the changes received as an adolescent often result in changing identity and self. As a result of this, I was forced to learn about myself as I was working through numerous challenges towards my new mentality. After analysis of Erikson’s eight stages of development, I believe that I am at stage five where I am struggling between identity versus identity diffusion. Erik Erikson’s stages of development are a great work that focuses critically on numerous challenges that as an individual we face at each stage of development (Erikson, 1994). The conflict of adolescence according to him focuses on the confusion existing between identity and identity. According to Erickson, as an adolescent, we are often concerned and stressed with how we tend to appear before other people while searching for specific life’s meaning and a particular niche that we tend to fit into. As an adolescent, I went through an intense period of transition with extreme confusion as I try to search for my identity.
At the toddlerhood, the crisis identified is autonomy versus shame and doubt. Since I could only recall very little regarding my development at stage two, I was forced to ask my mother. When I asked her to describe me as a toddler, she quickly responded that I was curious and often wanted to explore. By nine months I was walking easily. I believe that my parents played a critical regarding developing my autonomy where they allowed me to exercise my will. I believe that I was able to venture into new interests and further made my decision. Further, I can say that my parent’s encouragement helped me develop into a strong independent man that I am currently. Some of the positive reinforcement that I believed I acquired includes disciple strategies and good behavior.
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During my pre-school children, I experienced crisis related to initiative versus guilt. By being allowed by my parents to express myself especially in various play activities, I believe this strengthened my identity and self-worth. However, at age four, I found myself messing around such that there was an instance that I fell and broke my collarbone. I was scolded that I felt guilty for messing around and realized that my decision was not always the best (Erikson, 1994).
Focusing on school-age children stage, the crisis experienced was industry versus inferiority. My primary focus shifted to school. In line with Erickson arguments, I believe that I was driven my intense competition and achievement, therefore, I took the opportunity to prepare well for school and participate in various school activities such as academics, clubs, and sports. These activities enabled me to identify my talent hence developed a sense of competence.
At this stage, I was able to seek acceptance especially from my peer, and Erikson noted that at this stage, school-age children are often concerned with the aspect of fitting in. On the other hand, Bandura's social learning theory lays emphasis on the importance of an individual’s observational learning and even imitation which in some way will enable an individual learn from peers and fit in. In the process of fitting in, I was often asked to change so that I can fit. However, I was not willing to change my looks; therefore, I had to remain the unique person that I was. At the adolescent stage, I began asking myself the questions revolving around who I was and what I would wish to be (Erikson, 1994).
I thought by the time I was in high school; I knew who exactly I was. In most instances, I have been very true to myself and out of this; I was able to be what I am. I remember my philosophy was always to stay true and be myself. By the time, I turned the age of 16 years; I developed an eating disorder referred to as anorexia nervosa. I realized that my true identity at that very time was masked by my eating disorder. Therefore, my eating disorder transformed to be my identity. I held into this identity for a long time and the strong and outgoing young man that I had developed into ceased to exist. There were moments that I believed I existed as something that I believed was not me. After a very long time of about more than a year, I was able to recover and rediscover who exactly I was beside my current eating disorder. But at the same time, I have not found my true identity.
I strongly agree with the argument put forward by Erickson because, I have a strong sense of identity; however, I found myself going through what I can refer to as a period of intense identity confusion (Erikson, 1994). This was when another individual said something serious that left me wondering about who I was, how other people see me and the person that I wanted to be. I found myself writing things down and from some time, I realized that what had begun negatively was gradually turning positive besides being one of the most uplifting experiences. I became stronger with a higher resolution to be one of the best individuals that I could be. I can relate this experience with Erickson theory where during that time; I had an intense inner conflict between what I considered myself to be a person and the person that I was before other people. For a moment, I found myself in a fix where I had to make the right decision between the two persons and then come up with the conclusion the true person that I was.
In conclusion, in the process of writing down, it dawned on me that despite the fact that I had certain negative traits, there are no specific set of traits that defines an individual on their own. Further, there are specific desirable attributes that I might aspire to gain than various negative attributes that I posses. Evidently, this was when my identity was developed, and upon understanding my identity, I would be able to move to my personal relationship that clearly defines the next stage of Erickson.
References
Erikson, E. H. (1994). Identity and the life cycle . New York: WW Norton & Company.
