In the current generation, there are many social issues which affect the well-being of persons in the community. In this case, domestic violence can be perceived as one of the vital issues which have affected the welfare of most people in society. Primarily, most of the people affected by domestic violence have no idea of the situation because they are normally blinded b love and this causes them to make irrational behavior. The statement can be evidenced by the fact that the spouses can act aggressively at one point and sometimes act sweet and loving something which makes the entire process continuous. According to statistics from NCADV, in every minute approximately twenty people in the United States are abused by their intimate partners (Porter, Williams, & Love, 2018). Most of the persons found in such condition are not adequately exposed and normally do not have the ability to stand up for what they believe is right. Some of them are willing to leave behind the toxicity affecting their lives but they lack the proper platforms that can help them to navigate through the tough times. Due to this, there are our major aspects which propagate them harsh living conditions and this includes lack of knowledge about building healthy relationships and lack of adequate education on the avenues to explore in order to seek help. Additionally, most victims fear the power which the abusers have over them and the most common reason is that a huge percentage of the population affected chooses to stay in the relationships for the sake of love. Therefore, this paper aims to relieve the victims of the blame and identify the specific red flags from the abusive partner. The dimension will be essential because it will provide an alternative to solving the problems other than blaming the victims.
From the assessment of the condition of domestic abuse, it is clear that most of the victims fail to realize that it is a sick cycle. The statement implies that the individuals who are abused fail to read the pattern but instead they choose to ignore everything and concentrate on the aspects which make them happy. It is true that any given relationship tends to have its ups and downs but most people in such settings lack the ability to determine if the relationship has reached the toxic levels. Nixon and Humphreys (2010) reiterate the fact that there are many dimensions of gender abuse and people fail to recognize the extent to which they are being mistreated by their spouses. On the other hand, the behavioral traits can be transferred from the parent to the child. The act can be possible when the child is growing and he experiences the acts fast hand. As a result, he will be triggered to handle such situations in the same fashion and this can be detrimental to the persons in a given situation. In most cases, the persons involved in the acts of brutality tend to get away with their actions because they show remorse and apologize for the harm which they have inflicted on the other person. The documentary by Fulton and O’Mahoney shares comprehensive insights to the problems associated with gender violence and how the victims and the perpetrators are not aware of the conditions which affect them. Therefore, with the inability to detect the dangers and the troubles of the cycle of domestic, most men and women continue to suffer in their relationships.
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Another significant red flag which has propagated the influence of domestic violence is the inability of the victims to speak up when oppressed. Their inability to share their plight can be due to religious factors, social factors or even personal factors. Machado et al. (2017) writes that people do not seek help due to some beliefs which they hold and this tends to escalate the impacts of domestic violence in the long run. For example, religion can be perceived as an avenue which has been used by most individuals to justify the various acts of domestic violence. The Christians of the west believe that a woman should be submissive to their men. This is a notion that in most cases has been taken out of context and men make use of such loopholes to fulfill their distasteful desires. Primarily, women are urged to exercise patience and exercise submissiveness something which does not resonate well with other quarters given the fact that women do not have the power to speak out about what is right. In the concept shared by Nixon and Humphreys (2010), there is intersectionality which exists in the domestic violence frame and this can also be viewed in the aspect of tradition. Many traditions, especially in Africa, believe that women should always concur with the aspirations of the husband. In addition, children are also required to be obedient to their parents and superior lest they are cursed when they speak against anything bad. Therefore, this shows the inability of other channels of communication put the victims of domestic violence in a dilemma without knowing the most appropriate avenue which they can use to air their frustrations.
In some situations, the abused partner is unable to go beyond the power of the oppressor. The statement implies that some of the persons in an abusive relationship have extreme power over their partners and thus, one has no ability to share what they feel about the situation. Holt notes that such power can emanate from monetary gains, sexual rigor or even their level of understanding and the love they provide (Holt, 2015). With the notion that the oppressed individuals hold pertaining to the inadequacy from other people outside the relationship, this makes them remain in the relationship though they may be subjected to both mental and physical abuse. For example, the individual with the power in the relationship may choose to dictate the type of cloth one should wear, the type of jobs they should seek, the kind of people they should interact with and how they should spend their time. The behavior has been common among male partners and this has been part of the significant problems affecting women. Therefore, irrespective of anything else, the power which one of the parties’ hold can be viewed as a plausible red flag that needs to be assessed and measures set in place to handle such situations.
Even though some of the victims are not affected by the above-named factors, the most common red flag is domestic violence is the aspect of love. Some people tend to face serious physical and emotional troubles but in the long run, they overlook the troubles which they face and come up with the excuse of love as the main factor which they consider. According to Porter et al. (2018), there are disturbing occurrences where the abused partner becomes more affectionate to the partner who abuses them. The family is an essential aspect to consider, and thus the abused individual may choose to stay in the relationship citing that it is for the sake of the children or the family profile in the public image. The interviewee in the article by Machado et al. (2017) provides resounding perspective regarding how love and jealousy develop in a relationship. She states, “She always was very suspicious. And at the beginning, she was always inventing stories that I was involved with woman A or B, she was even jealous of men, but as time went by, she started to become furious with her jealousy and started to hit me, to rip my clothes (…).” The statement implies that love can be treated as an avenue which can be used to elevate the status of domestic violence. Therefore, love is something which can be used to elevate the status of domestic violence. Herman affirms that there are various ideologies that can be deduced from the different cases of domestic violence and some of the major aspects are trauma and mechanisms of recovery (Herman, 2015). In this situation, the abusive partners happen to use the notion of love to make good with their partners and make them unable to report to the various departments in authority. As a result, love can be treated as a red flag which needs to be explored comprehensively so that the cases of domestic violence can be eradicated completely.
In conclusion, despite learning some of the components which make men and women fail to leave an abusive relationship, as a bystander, it is crucial to provide adequate support to the victims. It is essential to provide them adequate education and learning programs that will help them evade such conditions. Moreover, it is the responsibility of the individual to assess the conditions and ensure that they get out of distressing conditions. Moreover, in a situation where one spouse is ready to mentally or physically harm the other then there is no relationship and one should walk away. In order to avoid deaths or lifetime scars, it is advisable to find the courage to walk out of such abusive situations.
References
Fulton, N, & O’Mahoney, I (Director). (2015). Hitting Home [Motion Picture]. United States: ABC Television in association with Screen New South Wales
Herman, J. L. (2015). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence--from domestic abuse to political terror . Hachette UK.
Holt, S. (2015). Post ‐ separation fathering and domestic abuse: Challenges and contradictions. Child Abuse Review , 24 (3), 210-222.
Machado, A, Santos. A, Graham-Kevan, & Matos, M. (2017). Exploring Help Seeking Experiences of Male Victims of Female Perpetrators of IPV. Journal of Family Violence , 32(5), 513–523.
Nixon, J., & Humphreys, C. (2010). Marshalling the evidence: Using intersectionality in the domestic violence frame. Social politics , 17 (2), 137-158.
Porter, J. L., Williams, L. M., & Love, K. (2018). Interaction of Auditory Status, Child Maltreatment, and Victimization of Intimate Partner Violence .
