Abuse or violence by one person to the other in a domestic setting like cohabitation or marriage s referred to as domestic violence, or family violence or domestic abuse. When committed by a spouse or partner in an intimate relationship against the other partner or spouse, it may be referred to as intimate partner violence and can take place in same-sex relationships or heterosexual, or between former spouses or partners. The reason I chose to discuss this issue is mainly due to the many broken marriages that family violence has caused leading to the suffering of the children as some become victims of injuries while others become haunted by the trauma for years (Rose & Susan, 2014). In the recent past, the issue of domestic violence has been on the rise.
The increase in this issue has raised several questions from different stakeholders as the impact of family violence has been severe leading to divorce. Regardless of the causes, this issue has to be discussed by diverse social groups hence find solutions to the problems. The role of children in family violence has raised contentious issues. Family violence tends to affect children even if the violence is not being perpetrated against them. There are cases where family violence has turned chaotic leading to one of the partners being raped particularly women, worse case is when one of them dies in the struggle (Schechter & Willheim, 2009). The children become so traumatized and live with the incident almost all their lives if they are not properly counselled.
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The children tend to be scared after witnessing violence in their families especially if the violent acts like rape, verbal and physical attacks were being conducted to the mother by their fathers (Schechter & Willheim, 2009). The female children tend to carry this all their life and are mostly scared of men, other studies have concluded that a bigger number of the females who do not get married due to fear of the men may have experienced first-hand violence in their families. These women tend to want to live alone and do not believe in the marriage institution because of the experiences they went through in their childhood.
The male child, on the other hand, becomes dominant and a bully in the marriage if the father was the one being violent against the mother in the family. They became male chauvinists in most cases due to their experiences. They believe this is how to live with their families and be respected by their spouses. However, if during their childhood the mother was the one being abusive, and then they also become afraid of marriage thinking what their fathers went through is the same thing they will experience.
Most studies have concluded that violence in families is often triggered by little disagreements. The small issues if not talked out in a structured manner tend to have repercussions. In most cases, the fathers often view the violence within the family as a chance for them to assert their dominance within the family. The fathers especially if they are alcoholics tend to approach this situation when they are not sober hence they can easily become physically and verbally abusive in other scenarios they may even rape the wives if they are being denied sex in the marriage (Rose & Susan, 2014). In other cultures, the male believes that when they physically abuse the women then they will be respected which tends to be a myth since this will only escalate matters. Since this is technological era hence everyone can easily access information and are familiar with their rights thereby leading to lawsuits.
On the women’s perspective, violence is viewed as normal by others and do not act or report so that action is taken to settle these problems experienced. Before they know it, it becomes a habit. The silence from the women, while violence occurs in the family, affects the children. These abuses lead to adverse occurrences leading to divorce. Other women are the ones who perpetrate violence as they believe the only way for their spouses to take them seriously regarding the issues they are advocating for is through verbal violence at times leading to physical violence (Schechter & Willheim, 2009). Divorce is the likely event in such cases affecting children.
Conclusion
Violence is seen to be the cause of many broken marriages. Marriages suffer from issues like lack of a structure on how to sort them out. The society does not take family violence seriously until it becomes worse. When violence is heard or witnessed no action is taken by the society as they believe the family will sort out the issue until it’s too late. The society has failed in its role of developing structures ensuring violence within the family is tamed and dealt with.
As an advocate, it would ensure I sensitize people from diverse cultures to know their rights. I would further ensure I set up counselling programs in worship places like the churches and the temples. The society should be in a position to aid families to sort out marital issues within the families to avoid issues like divorce, rape and other evils that may result from violence.
References
Rose, Susan D. (2014), "Gender violence: the problem", in Rose, Susan D., Challenging global gender violence: the global clothesline project, New York: Palgrave Macmillan, pp. 12–13, ISBN 9781137388483, archived from the original on 2016-05-01
Schechter DS, Willheim E (2009). The Effects of Violent Experience and Maltreatment on Infants and Young Children. In CH Zeanah (Ed.). Handbook of Infant Mental Health—3rd Edition. New York: Guilford Press, Inc. pp. 197-214.
