“A Christian community is therefore a healing community not because wounds are cured and pains are relieved, but because wounds and pains become openings or occasions for a new vision. Mutual confession then becomes a mutual deepening of hope, and sharing weakness becomes a reminder to one and all of the coming strength.”
This statement made by Nouwen has a concrete depiction of what he believed life to be all about. It is without a doubt that Nouwen achieved what a priest-psychologist could achieve. He was recognized as an established speaker, teacher and a writer who spearheaded the change in many lives. Nonetheless, he also confessed that there are times when he felt depressed. To him, life was a result of several interconnected aspects which included spiritual support, emotional support and love. The three themes can be seen to be drawn from the basic aspects of intimacy. These reflections indicate unique relevance to his personal life experiences. It is indicated that Nouwen had longed to receive unconditional love but could not get it despite the fact that he got the chance to be a priest; which was what he had always wanted (Beumer, 1997). Nouwen felt like all his achievements as well as the relationships he had failed to fulfill his need for love.
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Love and Intimacy with God
According to Nouwen, everyone needs some kind of personal intimacy with God, the community and with one another. He believed that human beings have to go deeper than ourselves and ensure that they cultivate the deep relationship with God through solitude. This can help one value emptiness and as such come naked before the Lord (Palmer, 2004). Prayer helps to develop the intimacy with God and with others.
According to Nouwen’s confession depicts that despite the fact that some people are called to serve in evangelical councils of chastity and obedience, every single individual is called upon to live by the spirit of these virtues. This is essence means that Nouwen in still in his search for radical and authentic spirituality. He suggests that this kind of spirituality is rooted in contemplation that is also based on the pastoral relationships. This, he indicates has resulted to men hiding their weaknesses.
In his point of view, the link between spirituality and restlessness cannot be independent from the one who seeks to know God. It can be sated that his restlessness arises from the fact that he has been yearning for unconditional love ever since he was a child (Beumer, 1997). His positive restlessness was coupled with his nervous restlessness as a result of his woundedness due to the lack of love. It because of his experience that he urges the public to be true to God and oneself indicating that coming to God can help one understand God’s love as well as the essence of prayer.
According to Nouwen, letting go and being caught is the best depiction of spirituality. The wound of love as experts in the field of Theology assert, accounts for his loneliness as well as his despair (Foster & Smith, 2005). His picture of God was that of a wounded lover. He portrays God as one who is willing to suffer with humans and as such entering into a long-term relationship promises the experience of healing. Although man is religious, religious maturity can only be attained when one moves from the magic world to that of faith.
Nouwen asserts it is a gradual process that requires one to embrace all stages of life. In his view, religious maturity is akin to the mental development of a child indicating that one has to go through the different stages of spiritual development (Foster & Smith, 2005). One will remain faithful as long as God is glorified and uses prayers as a tool that manipulates God. Religion in this sense, serves as a soft bed within which one can opt to fall onto in times of hardships. This aspect of faith is important in the ministry context because it is only those who have attained a certain level of spiritual maturity and adulthood are able to lead the rest.
Intimacy with Community
Having a deeper and meaningful relationship with the larger community is just as important as having the relationship with God. Nouwen realizes that the community plays a huge role in ensuring that one achieves the sense of good health and wholeness. He critically examines the seminary life, identifies the existing problems and proposes measures to address them. Nouwen believes in the renewal of personal life and community spirit. He uses an example of the seminary life where he asserts that there exists an identity problem. For the most of the students, competence is the weapon used to meet the demands of the society, controlling and overcoming their impulses and feelings (Foster & Smith, 2005). This predisposes the students to the danger of not achieving their personal goals and risk of depression.
The staff members on the other hand becomes affected when the students fail to constructively use their time and as such employ forms of punishment that may in the result in depression and strain the teacher-student relationship. In this sense Nouwen believes that it is the community’s responsibility to provide meaningful structures which has the provision for the student to creatively use their energies. The structure should allow the student to live life and make mistakes from which they should derive lessons. The students should be allowed to identify the feeling s to trust and distrust as well as the ideas to accept and reject. The structure should provide unity to the people with disconnected emotions. It should further help in decision making about the future development plans for the community. It is because of this belief that Nouwen in his final days went to work in disabled community L’Arche.
Intimacy with Others
Nouwen in his life journey explores the possibility as well as the desirability of love. The complexity of the world and one’s inner feelings and emotions have contradicting description of love which sometimes creates the doubt of the true meaning of love (Beumer, 1997). To explore the meaning to the word love, Nouwen uses the taking form of love and the forgiving form of love. He identifies that there is a connection between the suffering of the world and that of one self. In this sense, he brings the interconnectedness of the intimacy with God, the community, and others. For instance, in the case of wound healing, Nouwen asserts that it is the minister who plays the role of minister to provide guidance and leadership to the dislocated man.
The minister should ensure that the hopeless man gets to the future. This is achieved using personal concern, personal experience as well as the hope and faith in God. It is the minister’s value for life that will ensure the wounded go through the healing process. Nonetheless, the wounded should also be there for the others like him. This will also serve as a healing for the one who is wounded. Nouwen suggests that people with a common problem will always find comfort and healing when they support each other. This can be achieved when people are able to love and accept each other.
One’s suffering and loneliness will serve as a hospitable space for others who are wounded and are searching for consolation (Palmer, 2004). The theme of hospitality and community intimacy assists in promoting acceptance and the healing process. From Nouwen’s wound of loneliness, one can see the connection of between the themes of intimacy, loneliness and hospitality. Every human being needs intimacy to avoid loneliness and hospitality provides that space which nurtures intimacy. For those like Nouwen who are devoted to the ministry, hospitality means being attentive and present. Nouwen’s wounds made him sensitive and sensible to the life situations and problems around him. This made him develop an understanding with spiritual as well as contemplative presence for the needy. It is through the wounds that one can find the hidden gift of hope in the promise of healing which comes with the presence of the presence of the Lord in our lives.
True wholeness, includes the presence of emotional support, spiritual as well as physical love. This widens the frame of reference and introduces a more inclusive way of thinking about spiritual, social, and physical health. It also broadens the understanding of how to nurture, promote and maintain health and wholeness through incorporating the aspects of religion and spirituality. In a nut shell, Nouwen’s definition of intimacy is summarized by the word love. In this sense, Nouwen urges us to "Love the Lord, your God and love your neighbour as yourself." The divine love for God makes the human love possible. Hence, reaching out to God naturally leads to the act of reaching out to others in the ministry and as such creates a beautiful united community.
References
Beumer, J. (1997). Henri Nouwen: A Restless Seeking for God: Crossroad Classic.
Foster, R., & Smith, J. (2005). Devotional Classics: A Renovare Resource for Spiritual Renewal: New York, NY: Harper Collins Publishers.
Palmer, P. J., & Wholeness, A. H. (2004). The Journey toward an Undivided Life–Welcoming the Soul and Weaving Community in a Wounded World: San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
