Family is the basic unit of any society. The form of family has changed tremendously over the years due to the changes in socioeconomic conditions, changes in ideals and societal constraints. Being one of the most important aspects in the society, issues relating to family tend to attract heated debate. The conventional nuclear family has often been tested by new forms of family units, particularly same sex families. Same sex marriage was viewed as a taboo for a very long time, until recently when societal opinion changed. Same sex couples can now have children and raise them like any other traditional family. The purpose of this paper is to explore the effects of same-sex marriages. Supporters and opponents of same-sex marriage had a lot to say about how same-sex marriage will affect the concept of family. Now that same-sex marriage is a reality, it is necessary to evaluate their effects on the distinctive family forms and kinship. The paper will begin with a brief history of same-sex marriage before discussing the positive change in attitude towards same-sex marriage. Same sex marriages have played a positive role in making the society more accepting of the diversifying family unit.
Since 2000 there has seen a drastic change in attitude and tolerance towards homosexuality. According to a study by the Pew Research Center, in 2001, 57% of American opposed same-sex marriage while 35% supported. By 2016, 55% of Americans now support same sex marriage in comparison to 37% who oppose it (Pew Research Center, 2016). During 2000s, political and social forces led to changes in attitudes towards homosexuality as the issues affecting homosexuals were popularized by the media and through public policies. The issue of same-sex marriage became subject of political debate. As the society became more accepting of LGBTs, marriage became an option for same-sex couples. According to Hopkins et al. (2013), Richard Baker and James McConnell became the first gay couple in the U.S. to file a lawsuit seeking recognition of same-sex marriage in the U.S. The case reached the Supreme Court, and the case was dismissed. Almost five decades later, same-sex marriage is legal in America and most developed nations. Same-sex marriage is now an integral part of the contemporary family unit. Same-sex couples are now raising children and engaging in all family-related activities like any other traditional family.
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Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage in 2003, attracting a lot of backlash from the rest of the society. About 60% of Americans were opposed to gay marriage, immediately 30 states, including the liberal California passed laws outlawing same-sex marriage (Sharma, 2013). Three-quarters of Americans now have gay relatives, friends or coworkers. Americans have interacted with same-sex individuals, and they realize they have the same aspirations just like heterosexual guys about settling down and having children. In the past, it was easy to deny that gay people were incapable of bringing up children when they were faceless, but today they are everywhere and they are deserving of family love like anyone else.
The topic of same-sex marriage has been studied widely, even before the legalization of same-sex marriage. Hopkins et al. (2013) claim that in the past two decades a sizable literature on same-sex relationships. Opponents of same-sex marriage were concerned with same-sex couples raising children, claiming that they were a ‘legitimate’ family and probably unfit to raise children. On the other hand, supporters of same-sex marriage came up with queer theories and criticized heteronormativity.
The tension between same-sex marriage supporters and opponents were caused by the difference in beliefs regarding family. Anti-gay arguments were mainly based on stereotypes and misconceptions regarding same-sex relationships. Early misconceptions about gays and lesbians often described them as over-sexual beings incapable of being in committed relationships. Gays and lesbians were seen as deviants who would not act as good role models to the children by anti-gay supporters. While the attitude towards gays has changed, some anti-gay supporters still feel the same way in today’s society (Hopkins et al., 2013).
According to Sharma (2013) the family structure is subject to constant change depending on the environment. Same-sex marriage is now recognized by the law as a legitimate family unit, and they are even becoming more prevalent than one-parent families. With the increasing popularity of same-sex families, the concept of the nuclear family has broadened to entail both heterosexual and homosexual couple.
In an online debate on the issue of same-sex marriage, Carpenter et al., (2008) capture all the relevant issues affecting same-sex marriage. Carpenter et al. (2008) uses statistics on gay relationships in America to show that same-sex marriage is a reality, and the society must be accepting of the gays. In 2005, there were almost 780,000 same-sex ‘unmarried partner’ households, meaning that there were about 1.5 million gay adults living together in the U.S. Also, in 2005, at least one million children were being raised by same-sex parents (Carpenter et al., 2008). The numbers showed that same-sex relationships and needs were as serious as the needs of heterosexual couples. Carpenter et al. (2008) argues that a civilized and humane society must be concerned for the needs of every member of the society, and it had no choice but to come up with policies to protect the drastically growing gay community.
Carpenter et al. (2008) observe that same-sex families have been living and functioning like real families for decades now even without the legal protection. The past half century has seen a significant change in attitudes towards and legal policy towards same homosexuals. As more members of the society interacted with gay families, they realized that they are as good as any other family and their attitudes changed. As they were more accepted into the society, there was increasing formal recognition of homosexuals.
The society has realized that gay marriage functions as much as the traditional heterosexual marriages do. Same-sex couples go through almost the same experience as heterosexual families, they love, support and sacrifice for each other. They also go through the same problems experienced by other couples. They struggle with money issues, raising children and a host of other personal issues. The society has realized that while same-sex marriage is new, same-sex couples have almost the same marital experiences as heterosexual couples, and lack of acceptance by the society only adds to their problems (Carpenter et al., 2013).
Carpenter et al. (2013) states that legalizing same-sex marriage has played an important role in making the society more accepting of same-sex marriage. Same-sex marriage is now a legal union enjoying the same benefits as a heterosexual union. The most important thing is that legalization of same-sex marriage has offered some form of stability to the same-sex couples. Before legalization, many gay couples lived together, but they often felt that they were doing something wrong because the law did not recognize their union. The critics of same-sex relationships were more vocal because the law was on their side, but with legal acceptance, the society has no choice but to be more tolerant of same-sex marriage. The legal acceptance is a source of stability, relief and protection, and homosexuals who were afraid of starting families now have the chance to do so. Marriage by custom and law encourages commitment, and even with the possibility of divorce, marriage is still considered a serious institution for individuals who want to stay committed forever.
Carpenter et al. (2008) agrees that same-sex marriage has changed societal perception about marriage and family. In the past, the conventional nuclear family was a heterosexual family, but now same-sex marriage is acknowledged too. Anti-gay marriage individuals often cited many reasons, one of them being biology. In a same-sex marriage, one parent will be biologically related to the child while the other will not, though others choose to adopt (Carpenter et al., 2013). Hence, same-sex families have made the issue of adoption and blended families’ mainstream, such that parents do not have to be biologically related to the children to raise them as their own.
Though same-sex marriage has redefined societal attitudes towards family, there are commonalities between same-sex marriage and other common family units in the society. With the increasing cases of divorce, many parents find themselves raising children as single parents or with other partners that are not biologically related to the children. Heterosexual blended families have the same struggles as same-sex families whereby one parent is not biologically related to the child. Carpenter et al. (2013) notes that the children in mixed heterosexual families are not doing any better than the children in homosexual families. The reason why same-sex marriage is more accepted than before is because of the changing family dynamic. There are many single parents in the American society; others are co-parenting while others choose to ignore their parental responsibilities. Such parents understand the value of having someone to help them raise children, and they are now more accepting of two people who come together to start a family regardless of their sexual orientation.
According to Hopkins et al. (2013) psychologists and researchers show that children from same-sex families are socially and psychologically well developed like children of heterosexual couples. However, children of same-sex couples will develop less gender-stereotypical ways than those from heterosexual families. Same-sex families often challenge the heteronormative assumptions towards gender, sexuality, race and class. They are more open to alternative ideas given the history of same-sex marriage in the U.S. (Hopkins et al., 2013).
Same-sex families tend to be considered equal partnerships in comparison to traditional heterosexual families. In a same-sex marriage, the partners are of the same gender and though they might each have unique differences, they seem more equal than heterosexual couples divided by the gender differences. In a heterosexual family setting, gender difference is perpetuated is the domestic sphere whereby women engage in domestic chores, while men tend to do nothing around the house (Hopkins et al., 2013). The model of gender difference is also quite visible in heterosexual relationships because of the economic inequalities between men and women, in most cases, men earn more than women, and they use this to retain power in the family setting.
On the other hand, same-sex couples strive for an egalitarian form of relationship that defies the traditional gender-based roles. Same-sex couples often engage in discussion about power in the relationship because they do not want the other partner to dominate the other regardless of the socioeconomic status and race of the partner. According to Hopkins et al. (2013) same-sex couples tend to maintain parity in domestic labor and create a new family dynamic where both partners are truly equal.
Scott & Kosslyn (2015) explore whether the same-sex marriage has transformed the reasons behind marriage and starting a family. Scott & Kosslyn (2015) believe that marriage and family is still highly valued regardless of the different approaches to the family unit. However, love plays an important role in that people are willing to break social norms on the institution of marriage as Coontz (2005) declared “love has conquered marriage” (Scott & Kossly, 2015 p. 17). Critics of same-sex marriage are quick to make the conclusion that the family is declining based on their rigid view of family. If the family unit remained those same, single families, cohabitation and co-parenting would not exist in the society. The reality is that diversification of family forms is a sign of resilience to the changing social forces (Scott & Kosslyn, 2015). It is impossible to maintain “the best family form” when it does not fit the needs of everyone in the society.
However, the diversification of the family unit can have negative implication (Plesa, 2011). The diversification has increased personal autonomy for parents, such that it can be difficult to maintain lifelong commitment. The society must be aware of the negative consequences of family unit diversification, especially for the children and help them deal with some of the uncertainties. Also, the society has a role to play in reducing conflicts and inequality between the different family forms by being accepting of all family types. Social changes like same-sex marriage should be seen as new opportunities to strengthen the family life in general rather than criticize others.
In conclusion, same-sex marriage represents the latest trend in the family unit. The family-unit dynamic has constantly changed, in the 19th century, men were the breadwinners and they were the dominant figures in the family. Over the years, the family unit has diversified due to socioeconomic pressures, and now women are capable of raising children without men. There are numerous single, broken and blended families in America, and now same-sex family. The public attitude towards same-sex marriage has changed for the better as members of the society interact with same-sex individuals. With three quarters of Americans reporting to have a gay relative, friend or co-worker, they are more confident that these individuals are capable of raising children well. While not everyone is accepting of same-sex marriage, the reality is that they are part of the contemporary family units, and the law protects them.
References
Carpenter, D., Nagel, R., Koppelman, A., & Wax, A. ( 2008 August, 6). Same Sex Marriage. The Federalist. Retrieved from: http://www.fed- soc.org/publications/detail/same-sex-marriage
Hopkins, J. J., Sorensen, A., & Taylor, V. (2013). Same‐sex couples, families, and marriage: embracing and resisting heteronormativity1. Sociology Compass , 7 (2), 97-110.
Plesa, C. (2011). Race, Ethnicity and Attitudes Toward Same-Sex Unions in the United States. Dissertations and Theses . Paper 242.
Pew Research Center. (2016 May, 12). Changing Attitudes on Gay Marriage. Retrieved from: http://www.pewforum.org/2016/05/12/changing-attitudes-on-gay-marriage/
Scott, R. A., & Kosslyn, S. M. (Eds.). (2015). Emerging trends in the social and behavioral sciences: An interdisciplinary, searchable, and linkable resource . John Wiley & Sons.
Sharma, R. (2013). The family and family structure classification redefined for the current times. Journal of family medicine and primary care , 2 (4), 306.
