Self-concept, by definition, is a set of stable ideas that an individual has concerning himself/herself (Floyd, 2013). After closely evaluating the above list of my personality traits and eliminating the less important ones, I find the traits below to be the most stable in defining me;
1. Female
2. Christian
3. Quiet
4. Introvert
5. Conservative
Being female has contributed immensely to the development of my self-concept. A research by Pew Research Center on social demographics shows that men receive more pressure to be emotionally strong and support their families financially than women. On the other hand, women receive more pressure to be more attractive and be involved in parenthood. Also, women can freely express their emotions often. This research reflects the society I grew in. As a result, I would find myself letting my emotions have their way, unlike my brothers. Moreover, I find myself to be more empathetic with others than my male friends.
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In addition to being a female, Christianity has also contributed a lot to engraving some virtues into me. Being a Christian has helped me to develop friendliness with people. As an introverted person, I always had struggles relating to people. However, the church fraternity provided a good platform for me to develop helpful friendships. Many people find me to be friendly although quiet. Being silent is naturally a part of me. However, I am not badly silent when I compare myself with some other people. However, sometimes it pains me when I am not able to greet people or initiate discussions when I am in a capacity to do so. Although a significant number of people find me to be admirable due to this trait, others find it a bit disturbing.
I am an introverted person. However, I am adventurous in that I enjoy traveling to new places, hiking, and mountain biking. I think my adventurousness balances the introversion trait. Being adventurous is somewhat my outgoing aspect. If I was not introverted, I think I would be talkative rather than be a quiet person.
Reflected Appraisal
Reflected appraisal is defined as the process whereby a person’s self-concept is influenced by their beliefs concerning what other people think about them (Sedikides & Spencer, 2011). From the initial list of twenty self-concept items, I classify the following in the category of reflected appraisal.
1. Shy
2. Disciplined
3. Arrogant
4. Lovable
5. Academically above average
I have had various people tell me that I am shy. As a child, I was not a shy person. However, in my late teenage years, I became a bit reserved and shyness crept into me. Since the people who would commend about as a shy person were close to me, I embraced their words as true about me. However, nowadays I am recovering after realizing that it is possible to let go of shyness. After an argument with a colleague one day, he told me that I was arrogant. His statement sunk into me. Later, another friend told me that I was stubborn. After a close examination of why they told me so, I realized it was because I could not buy into their ideas. I embraced such statements as true because I do not easily let people inject their ideas into me if they are not adding up.
Since my primary school level, teachers commended me for being a brilliant and disciplined learner. Their positive appraisals brought forth high self-esteem within me. As a result, I was entrusted with various student leadership positions while in school. I embraced the truth that I am as my teachers said and I excelled well even in my high school level. My mother has always told me that I am a lovely daughter to her. After embedding her words in my heart since I was a child until now, I have always worked hard to impress her. Besides, other people within my circle also find me to be lovable and this brings a sense of worth out of me.
Social Comparison
Social comparison is the practice of comparing yourself with others (Lodi-Smith & DeMarree, 2018). In this category, the following list comprises the traits about me.
1. Assertive
2. Quiet
3. Not a good public speaker
4. Academically above average
5. Perfectionist
I am an assertive person. However, there are other people amongst my peers whom I consider to be more assertive than me. Sometimes, my friends challenge me for allowing some people to do some things to me. My assertiveness comparison is appropriate because I compare myself with my peers who I find to be helpful to me. Moreover, I am quiet when comparing myself with most people whom I associate with. I consider myself to be a quiet person because while in social functions, I rarely initiate or participate a lot in discussions with strangers. I also spend most of my time alone.
Considering my shyness issue, I am not a good public speaker. This is because even in making class presentations, I become uneasy and lose the boldness to speak confidently. My perception is right because some of my colleagues easily express themselves before people. Considering my peers, I find myself to be brilliant. This is because I perform better than most of my colleagues. I am also a perfectionist. However, other people do things better and in an organized manner than me.
One other concept
One of the principles I have learned concerning self-concept is the principle of communication and the self. Our social behavior is governed by the perceptions we hold in our brains. The Johari Window describes the four categories of information available about an individual. How other people perceive an individual and the information the individual knows determines how he/she relates with them. In the Johari Window, information is categorized into open, hidden, blind, and unknown (Sedikides & Spencer, 2011). From the list below forms a self-concept of me according to the Window;
1. Assertive – Open
2. Arrogant – Blind
3. Shy- Hidden
4. Averagely a good public speaker – Hidden
5. The unknown self-concept which will reveal itself with the unfolding of time.
In conclusion, the self-concept phenomenon is key to helping people understand themselves. For instance, I have learned how my self-concept was formed and how to manage myself, especially with socially adapted traits. Although I have struggled with shyness for some time now, I understand that it is all psychological and I can manage it. Writing this paper has reinforced my sediments that the environment that our minds are exposed to shapes our perceptions and that some aspects like self-monitoring can help in improving our relationships.
References
Floyd, K. (2013). Interpersonal Communication (3rd ed., pp. 71-80)
Lodi-Smith, J., & DeMarree, K. G. (2018). Self-Concept Clarity: Perspectives on Assessment, Research, and Applications . Basingstoke, England: Springer.
Sedikides, C., & Spencer, S. J. (2011). The Self . London, England: Psychology Press.
Young, T. R. (2013). New Sources of Self: Pergamon General Psychology Series . Amsterdam, Netherlands: Elsevier.
