I am always tired after long hours of work. I work at a restaurant during the day washing dishes, cleaning tables after customers are done with their meals, and ensuring that the kitchen area is always clean and spotless. I have to be at work by six in the morning every day and leave at seven or sometimes at nine. Even though the job might seem to be easy on the outside, it is both mentally and physically tasking compared to other jobs that I have done previously. I often arrive home by ten feeling very tired, with only the thought of going straight to bed and wishing to sleep for at least a full day. However, the reality is often cruel because I have to wake up by five in the morning and prepare for another long day at work.
From a communicative and perceived standpoint in my life In order to ensure that my younger brother and sister can attend school, pay for rent and other utility bills, my mother works two jobs, one at night and another during the day each for 8 hours. I am yet to attend university; I live with a single mother, and life is often challenging for us. Nowadays, she rarely smiles and often gets angry for no reason. I always take the instances where she drinks and yells at my siblings and me as her venting her inner emotions and often shrug it off. Although inwardly I know she is trying so hard, sometimes I get so angry and rants about how it is hard for me at work and home, how my boss has docked my salary for breaking a few glasses all of which are not my fault, and how I have to ensure that everyone has something to eat in the house after getting all tired from work.
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However, the only reply I get from my incessant rantings is, "I am lazy, stupid and think that I have it hard in the world but that I have not yet experienced the bitterness and faced the cruel reality of life." To avoid unnecessary quarrels with my mother, I often try not to talk at home and only try to get the ringing from mom’s yelling out of my ears and most of the time hope that if I do not complain about my mother’s drinking habit, she will not vent her emotions on me. However, this is not always the case because I noticed that being tired and frustrated all the time can interfere with people's perception making them worse, thus worsening communication between individuals, as the case with my mother. All in all, I always blame my mother's drinking and yelling to being too tired and frustrated at life, coupled with my tiredness and personal frustrations as the primary cause of the lack of proper communication between us.
To get out of situations that may worsen our relationship, when feeling frustrated or tired, I try telling myself that I am not and that it is just a state of mind and nothing else. I try not to get into arguments with my mother often, and when I cannot avoid doing so, I try being optimistic and not label anything. I thus strive to focus on the problems that my mother faces since, in the long run, they are more significant than my own, and because today does not matter as much compared to what we will face tomorrow as a family.
