Sexual activity among human beings has a vital role to play when it comes to procreation as well as cementing relationships. However, it is not every sexual activity that produces positive results. The reason for this is the fact that sexual events tend to be socially restricted and defined which may determine their acceptability. In ensuing studies, researchers have spent a lot of effort in deciding what constitutes both positive and negative sexual experiences. In their quest, they have thought of concepts such as sexual regret which emanates from socially unacceptable sexual activities. According to these researchers, there is a great likelihood of sexual regret especially if the sexual activity does not follow the socially created norms. An analysis of this phenomenon will reveal some of the critical considerations that social researchers have adapted to reveal the levels of sexual regret across genders.
Basic Elements Outlined In Uecker and Martinez Thesis
The authors of this article have gone to a great extent in trying to bring out the levels of sexual regret in both men and women by embracing some indicators. In this analysis, they have endeavored to show that the levels of sexual regret in casual hookups are notably higher in women that it is for men. In doing this, they have considered the following indicators to prove their thesis:
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Attitudes towards Sex and Relationships
The society has set a clear path when it comes to attitudes towards sexual relationships across genders. According to Uecker & Martinez, the men tend to have more sexual fantasies, thoughts, have more sexual partners as well as masturbating more. On the other hand, women are supposed to be more reserved when it comes to sexual episodes. In fact, women tend to attach more meaning to sex. For women, sex is supposed to culminate in meaningful relationships rather than just moments of pleasure. If then a hookup will not culminate in a significant relationship, then it will create a lot of regret in the women. The regret according to England & Bearak (2014) is socially constructed as women are judged more harshly as compared to men when they engage in casual sex. It is for this reason that Uecker and Martinez, base their thesis on the likelihood of increased regret in women who get involved in vaginal sex in a first-time hookup.
Sexual Initiation and Agency
When it comes to sexual initiation, it is clear that the society has placed this role on the males rather than on the females. It then means that in casual hookups women find themselves on the receiving end as they have no control for initiating a sexual escapade. As such any vaginal sex will almost result in regret since in this case, men’s sexual desires take dominance as compared to women. According to Galperin et al. (2013), the matter is made worse the initiation may be forceful considering that the men may be definite meaning that it would be hard to resist their attempts. Additionally, when it comes to sexual initiation, it is correct to say that the men wield so much power since most of these casual hookups happen in their rooms. Consequently, it becomes hard for the women to resist seeing that they are in a foreign environment. It is for this reason that the concerned women will regret the act understanding that they are powerless and defenseless.
Sexual Enjoyment and Satisfaction
Human beings unlike other animals which use sex for procreation usually engage in sex for pleasure and bonding. However, it is not automatic to derive the pleasure based on various factors. According to Uecker and Martinez thesis, a lower percentage of women as compared to men derive sexual pleasure in hookups. The reason for this is the fact that the sexual partners, in this case, are strangers and as such, they are not aware of each other’s sexual preferences. Additionally, according to Armstrong et al. (2012), research indicates that women orgasms are less frequent as compared to those of men that is 29% against 75 % respectively. Sadly, the men will enjoy the sex more to the detriment of the woman involved. Consequently, there is a great likelihood that the woman in question will feel used and will end up regretting the whole experience. The regret, in this case, is even more significant if the woman has engaged in vaginal sex as compared to oral sex.
Loss of Respect from One’s Partner
Sexual regret is an outcome that is fuelled by the fact that there is a high likelihood of losing respect from one's partner. The result is mostly real when it comes to casual hookups with partners unknown to an individual before vaginal sex. Additionally, according to Uecker and Martinez thesis, the women tend to suffer more from this element. This is so especially when it comes to social constructs which dictate that women are not to engage in such casual sexual escapades. Unlike men who are congratulated for managing to have intimate relationships with some women, women are seen as loose and immoral. According to Allison & Risman, 2013 research indicates that 54 percent of women base their regret on the loss of respect from their partners as compared to only 22 percent of the men. It is for this reason that Uecker and Martinez base their thesis that women tend to have more regret than men when it comes to casual hookups.
The Concept of Sexual Double Standard and Its Role in Creating Varying Levels of Regret across Genders
As mentioned earlier, the society plays a role when it comes to matters sexual relationships across genders. What this means is that the community has put in place unseen regulations concerning how females and males should behave when it comes to sexual activities. It is against this background that men are given an upper hand when it comes to initiating and furthering sexual intimacy. The society finds no problem with men who have multiple partners, men who masturbate or who start sexual intimacy. In fact according to Allison & Risman, 2013, these men are given a badge of honor for their masculinity. However, it is the same society that looks down upon women who get involved in casual sexual activities or tend to initiate sexual activity. Such women tend to be judged harshly which then leads to loss of respect as well as a consequential loss of self-respect. The double standard in judging women is heightened further by the fact that the women themselves are part of slut shaming as observed by Armstrong et al. (2014). Consequently, such women have stigmatized something that further brings about sexual regret. According to Kuperberg & Padget, 2015b), in the United States, for example, there appears to be a societal script which is the idea that male identity is affirmed by an aggressive pursuit of sex. On the other hand, this scenario portrays women as sexually passive meaning their role in the sexual quest is limited and is dependent on the men. As a result, any attempt by the women involved in the casual hookups to change this script is going to be accompanied by regret as it is assign of deviation from the norm. The double standard is responsible for some things especially when it comes to defining the kind of sexual relationships that can exist. For women, the intimate experience should bring more than enjoyment that is meaningful relationships should be borne out of it. However, this is not usually the case, as the men tend to enjoy it more to the detriment of their partners. The women feelings are not considered as necessary as long as the men enjoy it to the fullest without trying to meet their partner’s needs. In fact, the more a man enjoys it, the better a tenet, which lies in the dictates of the society.
In conclusion, sexual regret is a consequence of various elements which are interplay as depicted by Uecker and Martinez in their article titled “When and Why Women Regret Sex in Hookups More Than Men Do: An Analysis of the Online College Social Life Survey.” In this article, they have reviewed the concept of sexual regret especially when it comes to casual first-time hookups among college students. The main elements of comparison used in the study include Attitudes towards sex and relationships, sexual initiation and agency, levels of satisfaction as well as loss of respect. In this light, they have endeavored to prove that sexual regret is usually higher in females than in males especially when it is about vaginal sex. Additionally, they have explored the issue of the double standard were the society judges women more as compared to men. Consequently, this contributes to increased regret for the women engaging in vaginal sex in casual hookups as compared to their male counterparts.
References
Allison, R. & Risman, B. J. (2013). A double standard for ‘hooking up’: How far have we come toward gender equality ? Social Science Research, 42(5), 1191–206.
Armstrong, E. A., England, P. & Fogarty, A. C. K. (2012). Accounting for women’s orgasm and sexual enjoyment in college hookups and relationships. American Sociological Review, 77(3):435–62.
Armstrong, E. A., Hamilton, L.T. Elizabeth, M. Armstrong, E. M. & Seeley J. L. (2014). Good girls’: Gender, social class, and slut discourse on campus. Social Psychology Quarterly, 77(2):100–122.
England, P. & Bearak, J. 2014. The sexual double standard and gender differences in attitudes toward casual sex among U.S. University students. Demographic Research, 30, 1327–38.
Galperin, A. et al. (2013). Sexual regret: Evidence for evolved sex differences. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 42(7), 1145–61.
Kuperberg, A. & Padgett, J. E. (2015b). The role of culture in explaining college students’ selection into hookups, dates, and long-term romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 33(8), 1070–96.
Uecker, J. E. & Martinez, B. C. (2017). When and why women regret sex in hookups more than men do: an analysis of the online college social life survey. The Sociological Quarterly, 58(3): 470-494.
