Literally, marriage is the union between a man and a woman, who come together and agree to live together for the rest of their lives. However, this definition is becoming outdated, especially in the modern world where cases of same gender marriage are becoming rampant. There are many types of marriage, but the recognized ones are two, the civil marriage and the religious marriage. This article focuses on the search for relational integrity in marriage as defined by the biblical teachings. While the Christian marriage clearly holds for the opposite gender marriage, the biggest question lies on who is to take charge in the marriage relationship, the man or the woman? This may appear to be a rhetorical question, but based on the scriptures, it is really perplexing.
Most Biblical teachings drawn from the New Testament tend to view man as the head of the family (Ephesians 5, 1 Timothy 2: 11-15, Titus 1:6, and 1 Peter 3:1). Unfortunately, the scriptures fail to define clearly the type of a leader the man ought to be, and whether the woman should never lead. Ephesians 5: 25 commands man to love his wife, just like Christ loves the church. The woman is required to be submissive to man as indicated by Paul in Ephesians 5:21. Interestingly, the bible does not provide any condition on when man should love the wife and when the wife should submit to the husband, meaning that if all commit to their roles, then the marriage could be a perfect one. Unfortunately, the man is known to behave like a lion, while the woman wishes to take full charge of the family. In 16 th century, Martin Luther cautioned man against demonstrating his masculine power and heroic strength to rule over his wife, while warning that it is intolerable for the woman to dominate the family. In summary, both man and woman should practice mutual submission and love for each other.
Delegate your assignment to our experts and they will do the rest.
It is surprising that men and women in marital relationship struggle in getting along. In Galatians 3: 26-28, Paul says that, there is no difference between a man and a woman, but Paul seems to contradict himself by outlining the traditional roles of each in 1Timothy 2:11-15. In this case, the New Testament fails to give clear information on who should be in charge of the family, between the man and the woman. Turning on to the Old Testament, in the very beginning, Genesis 1:26-28 displays a very interesting statement, “….And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them…..” This scripture introduces a point of equality. Man and woman are created by the same God and put in charge of all other creatures. Note that, neither Adam nor Eve is put in charge over the other, but the two are co-created and given the role to subdue the rest of the creation. The phrase “Let us…..” introduces a notion of unity. This implies that man and woman are equal and should live in unity. Since it is not possible for the two to rule over each other, the best option is to love each other and be co-submissive. Furthermore, the creation account introduces male and female as the first community with inherent responsibilities to each other in deciding on matters of sharing life, work, worshiping, and parenting (Simone, 1990).
A strong marriage relationship should accommodate rational integrity between the male and the female. The only way to pave way to rational integrity is through the couple living in unity (p.5). Unity refers to the state of having a single purpose or vision. Philippians 2: 1-8 says that unity is hard work which is only achievable through singular purpose and vulnerability. This explains why strict roles rarely work in marital union. Rigid roles separate people and insulate them from knowing each other. There should be equality in the marriage institution. Despite the differences existing between sexes, the married partners should treat each other with equality and see the distinctions between them as complements between themselves, and not reasons for discrimination and being competitive over each other. Married partners should understand their responsibilities and act accordingly. Being responsible means that, each person has the calling to take care of the other. Luke 6: 40 define responsibility as a call to serve, restore, teach and bring healing interventions.
A strong marriage relationship is founded on the spiritual gifts, rather than authoritative power. Despite Ephesians 5: 25-28 giving the man the role to head the family, this should not be perceived as a reason for the man to suppress the wife. The deeper meaning to this is that, the husband has the duty to serve his wife and place her value above authority. James 3: 17 hold that community roles are better served by a serving attitude, rather than a sense of dominance or control. It is worth to note that, while people in the society scramble for power and leadership, the Lord always look at the humility in the personality (Isaiah 66:2). Therefore, according to the bible, the more humble a person is the more powerful he is. The reverse is true. The scriptures view a woman as a helper, one whose position is inferior, but the helper in Genesis 3 is used to mean “male saving grace partner”. Additionally, Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 quotes that two are better than one. So God created woman purposely to be both the man’s saver and a companion.
In conclusion, there is no defined biblical hierarchy of power in Christian marriage. The biblical marriage is defined by the unity, equality, responsibility, and the community intimacy roles in relationship with God. Marriage is a partnering work initiated by God and its prime intention was to knit together husband, wife, and the Creator. The desire for either party to control marital relationship should be replaced by love, acceptance and forgiveness for one another. In the case of disunity in a family, prayer and counseling should be applied to achieve unity (proverbs 11: 14; 15: 22). By no any case should unilateral power should be practiced in a Christian marriage as this disrespects causes abuse to either spouses. Marriage is sacred and is best served by mutual submission and partnership. The rational integrity in a Christian marriage is therefore based on unity, mutual responsibility, and co-submission between the spouses.
References
Simone, M. (n. d). The Search for Relational Integrity in Marriage. PowerPoint Slides
