Dear ….
Thank you for sharing your story. I have learned from what you shared that you have a high self-disclosure which works out well for relationships. So in my response to your story, I will discuss the role of perception, mindful –listening of self-perception in relationships. The three aspects build and nurture relationships I find them relative to your story. I will also give recommendations and a call to action to your story.
Role Of Perception, Mindful-Listening or Self-Disclosure In Relationships
Allow me to discuss a little about perception, mindful listening or self-disclosure in relationships. Perception relates to how a partner views the other in the relationship. Perception can be positive or negative. How you consider a person is as important as the person acts, therefore, once your perception aligns with how your partner acts, then you can trust that to be true. Besides, communication is very vital in any relationship; this will entail mindful listening where you use empathy to listen rather than offering advice. This will over time increase the sense of closeness and connection in relationships. Self-disclosure implies sharing information about life or other matters with the other party which makes people grow closer and more deeply involved (Cherry, 2018).
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How To Deal With The Issue
Your perception about the guy is positive, and I am confident that you felt some connection from the very first day. I am also certain that the guy has some positive perception about you since he is the one who initiates the chats. I, however, feel that you are taking things so fast and are eager about meeting him soon. Having known each other barely two weeks and being open to each other to the extent that you have shared intimate details raises concern. Since you have not met each other, I find the intimate sharing a bit first especially in the first stages of a relationship. I would recommend that you remain patient and give him more time as you plan on meeting him. This is what mindful listening is all about. Since he is not giving reasons yet, remain patient. You can also reduce the chatting or say you are busy at work, maybe through this; he will make up time and plan for a meeting. Also, when chatting, try limiting informal talks and focus more on other things, say general life matters, hobbies, books or about work. I don't think that you are crazy about the whole thing, but that you feel a particular connection. It is essential that you meet the guy to have a congruent perception of him (Daskal, 2016). So try limiting the chats and insist on meeting him.
Overall, I think that you are getting along well and can establish a healthy relationship by drawing out the barriers that are hindering your closeness. You should not be worried that within two weeks of chatting and sharing close information, the guy avoids meeting you. This is very normal, especially for new relationships. There can be fear or anxiety. Maybe he could be held at work or is planning for a surprise. Just remain calm and also try reducing the chats. Perhaps through this, both of you will create time to meet and set the way forward for the relationship. When chatting, you can also try to understand him more, maybe ask him what he loves during his free time, what he dislikes or whether he fears meeting strangers. Try and make the time for meeting not longer because when you continue chatting without a meeting, you might get bored or think you are being wasted as you already believe. Reduce the chats and insist you guys meet and know each other better. I am sure that through this strategy your relationship might work out.
Reference
Cherry, K. (2018, June 19). The Influence of Self-Disclosure on Relationships. Retrieved from Very Well Mind: https://www.verywellmind.com/how-does-self-disclosure-influence-relationships-4122387
Daskal, L. (2016, October 26). 8 Simple Ways to Nurture Your Most Important Relationships. Retrieved from Inc: https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/8-simple-ways-to-boost-your-most-important-relationships.html
