Norah Vincent’s eighteen-month journey disguised as a man made her realize that the societal view of masculinity has made men suffer in many different ways. To better disguise herself and better explore how men live, Ned – Norah Vincent’s male alter ego- flattened her breasts with a sports bra, obtained an executive haircut, joined a bowling league, and even spent time in a monastery. Ned also hanged out in strip clubs and indulged in the male dating game and dated as many women as possible. Ned realized that being a man is a full-time job and is a mess even when one takes sex out of a man’s world.
Vincent’s book successfully exemplifies the principle of the social organization of masculinity. The society has established well-defined structures that guide gender relations. For example in western culture, the traditional social organization of masculinity expects men to have strength, be courageous, assertive, and be independent (Strong, 2015). As Vincent observes, the principle of masculinity has negatively influenced the way men interact with members of the opposite sex relationship wise. Men therefore usually hide their true feelings for fear of being ridiculed and labeled as weak and non-assertive. While on dates, men are usually on the receiving end of women who engage them in boring self-pitying discussions and tirades describing all men as wolves. Ned further explains that most of his dates critically scrutinized and suspected him to equally as bad as other men (Martínez, 2017). The prejudice developed by society has made men to hide their emotions and fight to assert their identity. Men are also compelled to suffer romantic rejection. Being a man is therefore depressing and exhausting because they have to live with some form of deceit and fakeness to establish their identity and find their role in society.
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According to Fleming Lee and Dworkin (2014), constrain aspects of male gender norms results to hegemonic masculinity that negatively influences men’s health. The authors argue that the use of health programs, such as the “Man Up Monday campaign” only succeeds in reinforcing bad aspects of gender norms. The colloquialism used in such campaigns pushes men to adopt masculine ideals on being strong-willed and courageous. The authors found out that recognizing and deploying male gender norms to change men’s behaviors comes with a price, which they refer to as “costs of masculinity.” Men are therefore pressured to adopt traits, such as being unemotional, dominant, and have many sexual partners for them to be perceived as masculine and achieve the higher social status accorded to “real” man (Fleming, Lee, & Dworkin, 2014). Men are increasingly becoming vulnerable and experiencing physical and mental health issues. In their research, the authors further found out that adoption and adherence to inequitable traditional norms of masculinity result into risky social behaviors and intimate partner violence against women. The authors’ findings are consistent with Ned’s research. Adhering to the male gender norms turned into a personal nightmare for Ned. The pressure became unbearable for Ned, and he ended up having a nervous breakdown (Martinez, 2017).
Vincent’s general description of male life is not accurate. She fails to notice that the male problems she addresses are not ubiquitous. Not all men experience the same problems, and Vincent fails to acknowledge that. All the men she describes are straight and who try to buy into stereotypical societal masculinity. Vincent’s research sample is discriminative. All the men she virtually describes and reports in her research are White. Most of the men belonged to the working-class community except the monks and macho (Strong, 2015). Also, most of the men she associated with during her eighteen-month research stayed in environments that justified ideologies of masculinity and sex segregation. For example, the monks in the monastery had to behave in a masculine way because their environment demanded so. Consequently, the men’s retreat and lap dancing clubs promoted sexual segregation and made the ideologies of masculinity a big deal. Vincent only suggests masculinity as the only way of living for mains and fails to acknowledge that there are other possible biological approaches to manhood.
Norah Vincent’s narration of the experiences she faced within the short period she disguised herself as a man made me develop feelings of sympathy and pity towards the entire male generation. The pressure that the social organization of masculinity piles on men is unbearable. Men have limited options to express their inner emotions and desires to the female gender lest they are judged as being “un-manly.” The problems addressed by Vincent are real for the majority of men and therefore worth addressing. Men are forced to live a deceitful life which often cuts them off from their emotional selves. Martínez (2017) asserts that the patriarchal society with its conventional gender roles has only succeeded in hurting the majority of men by denying them the opportunity to express their emotional vocabulary. Vincent’s research is enough proof that social norms or principles greatly influence the way people relate with each other while living their daily lives. Applying Vincent’s analysis in a school setting, we can say that the high expectations parents, teachers, and the society have on children piles pressure on them which at times result in adverse outcomes. The pressure to pass exams and to prove to everyone that they are the best may result in adverse health outcomes, such as depression and anxiety among students.
References
Martínez, R. (2017). The plight of the Beta Male. American Book Review, 38(4), 20-20.
Fleming, P. J., Lee, J. G., & Dworkin, S. L. (2014). “Real Men Don't”: constructions of masculinity and inadvertent harm in public health interventions. American journal of public health, 104(6), 1029-1035.
Strong, M. J. (2015). Gender Trouble in The Long Day. Americana: The Journal of American Popular Culture, 1900 to Present; Hollywood, 14(1).
