“ In His Own Image” by Eavan Boland
The main topic that grabbed my attention was that of domestic violence. The topic regarding why women can choose to stay in abusive relationship was quite relevant to me. The protagonist woman in the poem is in an abusive relationship. However, she appears to be somewhat helpless and can do nothing about her situation. The specific line that was really intriguing stated that “I woke day after day. / Day after day I was gone / from the self I was last night”, (Boland 33 - 35). The statement shows how women endure domestic violence day after day without quitting from the relationship. The instances of domestic violence were quite vivid in the lines that indicated “Now I see / that all I needed / was a hand / to mould my mouth, / to scald my cheek” (Boland 19 – 23).
The topic of being involved in an abusive relationship or one where one partner is involved in domestic violence is not new. Many people in relationships today are involved in an abusive relationship but do not quit until when it might be too late. This topic is especially personal to me as I was once involved in a partner that was verbally abusive. While the level of abuse I encountered cannot be compared to that of the speaker in the poem where the violence made her go through a concussion, it affected me emotionally, psychologically, and socially. I found myself becoming increasingly depressed and became antisocial. I later quit the relationship after a friend advised me to do so.
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One of the questions that I still consider to this day after quitting the relationship was why I had stayed for a very long time constantly going through constant abuse. Reading the poem provide a brief explanation of why this is so. The speaker had gone through the violence on a daily basis and this had established itself like a habit. She had become used to being abused and was helplessly seated every day waiting for a husband to come home at night who would constantly abuse her. The statement dawned on me that many women today can stay in abusive relationships because they have become accustomed to it. Someone may not know what a healthy relationship looks like and could recognize that the unhealthy relationship filled with constant abuse is rather normal. This calls for increased awareness regarding the topic of domestic violence. The public should be informed about the specific factors that make up a healthy relationship. Women that are involved in any form of abusive relationship whether physical or abusive should be ready to quit the relationship and end the abuse.
“ Rape Fantasies” by Margaret Atwood
Reading the short story for the first time was quite surprising as I was astounded about how the topic of rape had been treated by the author so lightly. Most of the fantasies of rape that the author indicates are not quite true and do not provide an accurate assessment of the encounter and consequences of rape. The stories are based on encounter where the woman does not get hurt emotionally or physically. However, upon considering the topic closely, it appeared quite vividly that we as a society downplay rape. The issue of rape and sexual violence has been downplayed by the current society especially through the use of print media and magazines. This has made many people have images and perception of sexual violence that do not represent the actual reality.
The downplaying of rape and sexual violence became quite apparent to me when I was involved in a discussion regarding the issue of women coming out with allegations of rape against politicians and celebrities. From the discussion, some felt that the women that had gone through the violence had actually exaggerated the events that took place. One person also argued that in the era of the ‘me too’ movement, it is easy for anyone to come up with false allegations. In case the allegations are true, then there could be a chance that they exaggerated the actual events. After reading the story “rape fantasies”, it became apparent to me that some of the reasons why people observed the stories of rape and sexual violence were exaggerated was because they had different perceptions of rape. The perceptions of rape have twisted and some consider that it is any other event that could be pleasant to both of the parties.
One of the cases of sexual assault allegations in the recent past involved President Trump who was accused by writer E. Jean Carroll. The definition of the accusation met the legal definition of rape. The incident took place in the mid-1990s and many people observe when Carroll came out, it was expected to be a big news story. However, when the story came out, it did not gain any wide public attention because many thought that she had made things up and that there were misinterpretations. While this could be true, the analysis of rape fantasies shows that we as a society are increasingly downplaying the issue of rape.
The incident of rape involves extreme violence and always has traumatizing consequences that women find difficult to forget. Many people today do not understand this and usually consider the testimony of the woman to be invalid without giving her the benefit of doubt. On the other hand, influential people and people in power are usually given a benefit of doubt. The modern culture mostly attributes women that come out to be lying because of the way in which sexual violence and rape has been downplayed.
References
Boland, E. (1978). 'IN HIS OWN IMAGE'.
