Mentoring is a system of guidance that is semi-structured whereby someone shares their experience, skills, and knowledge to help others to become great achievers in their carriers and lives. Mentorship relationships between Christians are crucial in many ways. According to Selzer, (2018), the first significance involves asking the mentor questions and getting advice. The mentee is likely to get more help from the mentor than friends, family members, and just any other church member. Sometimes some of the advice one gets may be sound; the mentor helps to sort out the ones one can follow while they advise on matters that are more complicated that family or friends may not know. Besides, mentors also help the mentees to look at situations and problems from perspectives that they might not think about on their own (Selzer, 2018). Moreover, the mentee can also learn how to deal with challenges that Christians face in their daily lives. Learning about one's mentor's experiences helps realize that the present troubles are essential in preparing for a better Christian in the future.
Mentoring is also crucial since it helps the mentees gain confidence in making better decisions and gives the mentor a chance to give back. Mentees gain confidence when they face tough situations because they know that they have an incredible person to turn to during such times (Freeks, 2016). Praises that mentees get when they make the right decisions always enable them to view themselves as experienced and wise Christians. Surprisingly, mentees are not the only ones who benefit from the program. Mentors improve their skills when helping others grow because the mentees' ideas and strategies usually inspire them.
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The two mentor interviews compare and contrast in various ways. The approaches to these processes have both advantages and disadvantages. First, Pamela Delilah Jones meets Pastor Patient Smith Thomas when Pastor Thomas’ daughter introduces her to the mother (Freeks, 2016). Similarly, Keith Anderson meets Pastor Lamont Christopher Thompson when the pastor is ministering from to door. Both mentees do not have the opportunity to choose their mentors. The disadvantage of this is that their mentors may not meet their needs because they have not had the chance to make choices depending on their needs. The advantage of this is that they may get mentors without struggles and eventually benefit from the mentorship relationship.
The way these mentees are spending time with their mentors is also similar. Pastor Thomas and Jones spend time during prayer meetings and phone. The same applies to the other party’s case (Freeks, 2016). The advantage of being able to communicate over the phone is that they can save money and time because traveling is not involved. According to Freeks, (2016), disadvantage of this is that phone conversations are less productive at times, requiring the involved parties to clarify some issues during a one-on-one meeting. Anderson has an additional advantage because he has counseling sessions, which can make an extraordinary impact on his life.
Pastor Thomas asks Jones to be stable since just talking too much only cannot solve her problems. Pastor Thompson also asks Anderson to learn to be truthful and sincere. In both cases, the mentees are supposed to account for their mentors' actions since the mentors are allowed to encourage, judge the mentees’ behaviors, or initiate correction. The mentee has to take accountability positively and return to the mentor for strengthening, celebration, encouragement, and correction. The mentor is there to advise and teach; therefore, they are not supposed to sit on judgment and watch the mentees go astray (Freeks, 2016). Mentees should be aware that a lack of accountability leads to a continuum of consequences. The advantage of the mentee's responsibility is that it motivates the mentor to assist them in deploying the abilities, skills, and talents by making them accountable for their deeds in a way that produces progress (Selzer, 2018). Only after the mentor finds out that one is prepared to be responsible can they proceed to vet further. Setting such rules to mentees can sometimes come with disadvantages. For instance, in trying to be truthful and sincere, Anderson might end up disclosing too much, which can be risky because not everyone can keep secrets. Similarly, Jones might end up keep crucial information to herself since her mentor has asked her to stay strong and stop talking too much.
Confidentiality between the two mentorship relationships varies. In the case of Pastor Thompson and Anderson, confidentiality is established on trust and developing boundaries through the Holy Spirit's conviction. On the contrary, in Pastor Thomas and Jones' case, it is evident that the mentee has been talking too much, and now the mentor is requesting her to put on energy on prayers and minimize talking. Confidentiality is very crucial in a mentorship relationship. Confidentiality is essential in molding the trust between the mentee and mentor. A trusting relationship opens the way for an open discussion and the mentee's growth to be successful (Freeks, 2016). Moreover, it allows both parties to communicate freely without the fear of having the discussed information become common knowledge. Lack of confidentiality brings doubt because one would have some concern that the issue discussed can be shared inappropriately. Sharing information freely between mentor and mentee also has shortcomings. At times, someone might decide to share with others what the other person is experiencing, including personal challenges to understand the implications or maybe to tarnish one's image. This can consequently cause devastation and emotional damage when the person whose secret has been exposed finds out (Selzer, 2018).
The closure between the two groups varies because, in the case of Anderson and Pastor Thompson, they are using a step by step model for evaluation. In contrast, in Jones’ case, the closure is simple, and there is no confirmation whether the mentorship has helped her. As Freeks, (2016) step-by-step assessment helps in making desirable adjustments and eventually determines the effectiveness of mentoring. It is essential in determining if both parties have met the goals they set. If this is not the case, then certain adjustments can be put in place for legitimate variations in goals while circumstances continue to evolve (Selzer, 2018). This type of evaluation also has some shortcomings. First, it makes the mentor or maybe the mentee less willing and less open to recognizing weaknesses. Therefore, this limits the capability of the mentorship relationship to give high quality and quantity of learning.
The lesson learned from the way these mentors met their mentees, according to this interview, is that there are many ways of getting mentees. For instance, from Pastor Thompson’s case, it is evident that the experienced and more mature Christians can get mentees during door to door ministries (Freeks, 2016). Therefore this encourages an upcoming mentor to do the same in search of people who might need mentors, and maybe they do not know where and how to get them. Another critical lesson is from Pastor Thomas’ encounter with Jones. This shows that mentors should allow friends, relatives, and other people who know them to recommend them to mentees.
The second lesson from the interviews is from the confidentiality issue. From the interview, one realizes that it is essential to set boundaries on what the mentee and the mentor can share. In Jones' case, it is clear that she is talking too much, and this can be very risky because not everyone can keep secrets. Confidentiality is essential in molding the trust between the mentor and the mentee. A trusting relationship opens the way for an open discussion and the growth of the mentee to be successful.
The last lesson learned from the interview is the need for counseling services to mentees (Freeks, 2016). If the mentor is not a professional counselor, they can organize for one because counseling given by a trained professional has significant impacts on the lives of families, individuals, and communities. The service assists the beneficiaries to navigate tough situations, such as divorce, death of a loved one, and other natural disasters. It gives insights and equipment to deal with issues like depression and anxiety. Ultimately, it empowers one to lead a fulfilling and healthy life.
References
Freeks, F. E. (2017). Responses of adolescents regarding the indispensable role of the Christian father as mentor within the family: A qualitative study. In die Skriflig , 51 (1), 1-7.
Selzer, L. (2018). A Christian Mentoring Program for Character Education of African American Teens and Young Adults from Detroit. The Wiley Handbook of Christianity and Education , 165.
