Parenting is a very vital aspect in a child’s upbringing. Mostly, what a child becomes is primarily how they were brought up. The beliefs, customs and imitations are what a child picks up from his or her parents while growing up. Parents strive every day to bring up a child that will be a good member of the society and with these, each parent struggles in identifying what perfect style they should use in raising their children. The three parenting styles used by parents include the authoritative style, authoritarian style and lastly the permissive parenting style (Coln, Jordan, & Mercer, 2012). The essay below discusses how the different styles of parenting relate and differ with the Biblical view on parenting.
The Authoritative style and the Biblical view
Under the authoritative parenting style, parents are firm, loving and also kind. Parents will tend to use to apply this style of bringing their children up to show different characters and take steps that are measurable in raising their kids. Authoritative parents are neither rigorous nor easygoing when handling their children. They act as role models and set boundaries that their children have to follow. Authoritative parents are responsible and take care of all their children`s need but do not extend too much in giving the children all their desires. This parenting style allows children to make their own choices once they are of the correct age. The report made by the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church (IFBC) of pastors advising the congregation to use the authoritarian style of administering discipline to infants does not relate with the authoritative parenting style. An authoritative parent despite the fact that he or she administers punishment; he or she is not quick to punish a child and does that only when the child crosses the laid rules. An infant is a newborn who does not even understand what they are doing thus, authoritative parents will not agree to punishing infants. The Bible however, provides guidelines as to how to raise children in light of this parenting style. Closely in line with this, the Bible, in the book of Proverbs 13:24 says, “He that withholds his rods hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (Prov. 13:24). It is unimaginable to think that the Bible would advocate for infant discipline but it is clear that the Bible illustrates that parents should punish their children.
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The Authoritarian style and the Biblical view
This particular parenting style is what the IFBC report covers in quite good detail. The report shows a pastor at a church encouraging the believers to use it while administering punishment infants. As according to the authoritarian style, parents do take control of each and every aspect of their children’s life. These parents are strict, rigid, inflexible and do not give their children the chances to make their own decisions. This parents use every harsh ways to administer discipline just like the report says, spanking of infants when they cry “too much”. It is not clear why the pastor was advocating for this method and using infants as an example. While the Bible allows spanking it further explains and disagrees on this parenting style when it comes to what level the punishment should extend. It says, “Discipline your son for there is hope; do not set your heart to putting him to death.”(Prov. 19:18). This kinds of parents set rules and do not explain the need to and when a child goes ahead and breaks any rule, they are quick to punish. Such parents are narcissist in nature and do not listen or take care of their children’s emotional needs. The Bible also differs with this style of parenting as these controlling behaviors make children be angry and provocative. The Bible tells Christians that they should be careful while handling their children so as to not make the children rude, disobedient, resentful and discouraged in life. When authoritarian parents do not give their children the chance to make personal decisions, kids get discouraged in life. The Bible disagrees with this style of parenting also and provides a statement that says, “Fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.” (Col 3:21).
The Permissive style and the Biblical view
This style of parenting involves parents who are lenient, do not make rules for their children, are extremely kind and loving and they never allow their children to experience any form of physical harm. It is clear that, this type of parents do not agree with the report done by the IFBC that says a pastor was encouraging spanking of infants. These parents are over protecting and despite the fact that they do not punish their children, these kinds of parent go through future emotional stress because of their children disturbing behavior. This parenting style differs with what the Bible says on disciplining of children. One quote in the Bible says, “He that withholds his rods hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (Prov. 13:24). The Bible is against such kinds of parents as it continues to tell parents to train up their children in the ways that wherever they go even when they are old they will not depart from it ( Prov. 22:6). It is clear that children brought up in this style of parenting end up to be individuals who have much pride, selfish, egocentric and lack self-control. Thus, the Bible tells parents to raise their kids in a good way until they are old enough to be responsible for themselves.
In conclusion, it is clear that there are numerous ways in which a parent can up bring their children and it is thus important for each parent to adapt to a unique way of raising their kids. Whether a parent is a Christian or not a Christian, all parents want to have children who are disciplined, well mannered, respectful, obedient and responsible. This is because, when a child has these values, it brings a parent joy to see that their child has good morals in the society. For this to be successful it is important that parents instill discipline to their children and administer punishment to the children. Punishment ranges from caning, spanking to house arrests and it is upon each parent to choose what will work for them and this narrows down to what type of parent one is (Rodriguez, & Price, 2004). Whether a parent is authoritarian, permissive or authoritative, the Bible has been useful enough to provide various guidelines on how to raise children in the eyes of God. However, in the process of raising children, parents should not abuse their children in the name of punishment and while punishing a child, the child should be aware of their mistake. Unlike in the report where a pastor advocates for spanking infants, individuals who are innocent and do not understand who they are let alone understanding what mistake they have made.
References
Coln, K., Jordan, S., & Mercer, S. (2012). A Unified Model Exploring Parenting Practices as Mediators of Marital Conflict and Children’s Adjustment. Child Psychiatry & Human Development , 44 (3), 419-429. http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10578-012-0336-8
Colossians 3:21, New International Version
Proverbs 13:24, New International Version
Proverbs 22:6, New International Version
Rodriguez, C., & Price, B. (2004). Attributions and discipline history as predictors of child abuse potential and future discipline practices. Child Abuse & Neglect , 28 (8), 845-861. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2004.02.003
