The other day my roommate and I had an argument about the current political climate and the role of the president of the United States in it. We’ve lived together with Megan for quite some time, and through our college life, we have gone to learn to share ideas and debate our opinions. Quite often we find ourselves in a heated argument, and when we are in the confinement of our room, we have no one but ourselves to forge a common ground. She likes raising opinions on current affairs, and once in a while I will poke her with food for thought and watch her lay down her views.
It was thus such a common day when I returned from class and found her sitting on her bed. She was busy on her phone, and I just felt life disrupting her. I remembered that America was getting ready to go to war with North Korea. It was all over the news, and I just needed the right words to kindle a fire of words. I knew she did not like Donald Trump and the current concerns were at the back of her mind. I took a breath and took a seat on my desk facing her.
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“ The world is badly trumped I tell you.” I watched her take a few seconds on the phone and then she put it away as she lifted her eyes to meet mine. I smiled. She remained nonchalant, and I could feel her searching for the best words.
“ I hope they don’t vote for him a second time.” The way she said ‘they’ and ‘him’ revealed to me the hurt in her. I looked at the ceiling to evade her eyes. They were clear, and there was deep concern written all over her face.
“ Why did they vote him in if I may ask; in the first place? And why do you think there will be a next time? Nuclear warfare is not a cup of tea.”
“ America was too proud to vote for a woman!” she was raising her voice. “And to tell you the truth, nuclear weapons may or may not be used. Calamities not made by human hands may threaten the very existence of humankind. But it doesn’t matter whether we go back to the creation time capsule, there will always be a woman to raise a human population. That makes me feel good.” Her agitation was hard to hide.
“ There will also me a man to help her raise the population.” That made her stand up and go to the window, her arms akimbo.
“ Man.” She spat it out. It reminded him of Trump. But she was in a tough situation to explain a woman raising a population without a man.
“ You would be fine if women ruled the world, Megan?” I offered.
“ If Hillary ruled America.” She reached to the window as if for support.
“ Let’s face it. Trump does not make policies alone. He does not lead the forces to war. He is a chess player with a handful of coaches who ascertain what is healthy for America. There s a stronger force behind it, and you’d feel worse if it was Mrs Clinton being pushed to send America to war. You would hate the woman in you. That woman you highly hold.”
“ I’m no feminist.”
“ Don’t even mention it.” I smiled. She left the window and came to stand in front of my desk. At her height, towered over me and I had to lead back in my chair to maintain eye contact without straining my neck.
“ Don’t mock me!” she pointed a finger at the bridge of my nose. It was then that I realised that I had gone too far. Megan was a vicious defender of women, and my smile was noted as a jeer. I quickly rectified.
“ Pardon me. I’m a woman too, and I’m ashamed that came from me.” As she lowered her hand and exhaled slowly, I rose and faced her.
“ I’m sorry too for bringing this up. I’m troubled by the state of affairs.” With that, I went to the window and opened it looking far into the skies like I’d get my answers there. I could feel her eyes on me, but I did not hear her coming until she placed her hand on me. It was tender.
“ Pardon me too. It troubles me more, but I have no right to snap at you.” We smiled at each other and the awkward moment passed.
Turn yielding and turn requesting are some of the aspects that are majorly employed in the argument. They are the forces that move the dialogue with the parties in conversation either prompting the other party to either answerback or give them a chance to raise their opinion. As the initiator of the dialogue, I am expected to communicate to Megan that jolts her to make note that the ball is in her court. That is how I started by uttering a sentence that takes Megan off whatever she was doing the answer back in a way that cultivates the argument. A pause after my first sentence is my effort in turn yielding, and it kindles the argument.
Questions are also a form of turn yielding. After Megan gives her first response, the conversation would have died there. But to prod her further I had to make choice of words that would make her tag along. For that reason, I as two questions at once and coat them with a statement about the underlying issue. It works well because unlike the opening statement that would take a shrug for an answer, questions raised require the respondent to be more detailed in her response.
Turn requesting as an aspect involves the speaker in an argument making expressions to suggest that there are pressing ideas she wants to put forward. When I argue with Megan, for example, there are instances where she speaks several sentences consecutively. This is especially prominent when she is agitated. The quick succession of her sentences does not allow me time to cut her short as I am aware that there is more information she wants to put across after every pause. Turn requesting also happens effectively when I smile at Megan’s defence for feminism. She leaves the window and paces to me pointing a finger at me. Of course, it stops me from relishing in my temporary upper hand and shakes me back to listen to her. It is for that reason that my next turn is to raise to her level to communicate the idea that we are equals in our cause. I also display humility as I pace away to the window where she stood as I attacked her. This is a form of turn requesting that cools the storm as I highlight my concerns and strike a balance with her.
Friendship-warmth touch is another aspect that marks the characteristics of our argument. After I have started the argument, I drive Megan up the wall with the ideas troubling me, challenging her opinions every time they are raised. But our argument is not supposed to make us enemies especially when we realize our shared concerns. It is for that reason that Megan comes to me when she notes my remorse. She also checks herself by realizing that the argument temperature was rising gradually. Towards the end, she places her arm tenderly on my shoulder to signify that our contact is not broken. It also assures me that although our argument was heated, it has helped us empty some of the thoughts running through our minds.
Facial expressions and affect blends are also common in our argument. They communicate the inner feelings of the parties in an argument and also serve as a guide to the right course to take for each party. In the opening of the argument, Megan maintains a distant or blank expression even though the conversation revolves around her concerns. But when I intensify the argument her eyes get wider, and at some point, she snaps in anger. This serves as a reminder that I am treading on a sensitive matter and it does affect her although she initially appeared less concerned. By guiding her from her angered status to a more cordial level, I apologies profusely, and this shifts her temperament from anger to a calmness cultivated by deeper understanding. The shift in an expression is referred to as affect blends and is important in effective communication.
Illustrators are also present in our argument. At some point, I get carried away and get to a personal lever triggering Megan’s vexation. Instead of answering back while at the window, Megan takes the initiative to come to my desk and point a finger at me. This illustrator serves in indicating that while our debate may have started with current affairs to address the major concerns affecting us, my approach was crooked bringing issues to a personal level. Megan’s use of illustrators jolts me to make amends and bring our conversation to a general friendly argument.
