Social norms are acceptable codes of conduct that a given society unconsciously regards as the right form of behavior. Norms may vary from society to society but at most times, there are behavior traits that are universally right while people view others as wrong, and unethical to a given extend. Norms run from the way people interact with strangers, to how they talk to waiters on the counter, eat, how they answer their mobile phones and even how they dress. Violating these may prove awkward and leave people bewildered at one’s actions. People would even start to question your sanity. In this paper, I will describe how I violated the social norms of interacting with strangers and offer a description of their reactions. I will also describe the experience of how it felt like.
Interacting with strangers can sometimes prove difficult especially so, when they are of an older age ( Nyborg et al, 2016). Although at other times one may grow fond of a conversation with people they have never met, the initial stages of the conversation usually determine its whole course. The very first utterances can attract a healthy conversation or shun the other party away all together (Posner et al, 2009). In simple terms, saying hello to someone, offering a hand as a form of greeting or a mere waving can create an atmosphere that could attract friendliness and at the same time instill confidence in the talk. However, some environments are more suitable for interactive conversations and lengthy catch-ups than others are ( Fehr & Fischbacher, 2004). Say for example, talking to a seatmate in a bus, or someone on the same table in a restaurant, offer a whole lot of time for people to have long conversations. On the other hand, conversing with random strangers on the street could be quite uncomfortable, to both parties.
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In one of the Saturday evenings, I decided to take a walk to the park and meet some random strangers, offer my hand for greetings and talk to them about my socks and shoes. I had decided to wear a different kind of shoe on each foot, and a different pair of socks too. I to violate the social norm of dressing because it would make people notice me and question my motive. Attention is all I wanted from the strangers. I chose to talk to strangers because I like interacting with people I have never met, learn new experiences and at the same time make new friends. However, on this specific day, I chose quite a different approach. First, I made advances to everyone I could reach to, try to sake their hands and initiate an awkward conversation about my socks and shoes, no matter how they appeared busy. I chose to do this so that I could be able to learn the different reactions of people in socially unappealing situations.
I chose to talk to strangers in the park because the place usually flocks with people on weekends. This environment would allow me to have as many people to meet as possible. At the same time, people of different age groups visit the part in the evenings. While some just traverse the place while walking from their workplaces, others just go to the park as a form of refreshment away from the city’s busy traffic. Exposure to people from different socio-cultural backgrounds in the park would also make my encounter interesting.
Before I made my first move, felt nervous. I did not know what to expect from the strangers and this made my heart race. I did know the best target to start with. I feared that people would misjudge me for an insane person and inform the police for invading their privacy. Nevertheless, I composed myself and was ready to take on a couple that sat on bench on the far end of the park, drinking the Mc Donald’s coffee. I made sure that did not notice me while I was approaching until I got too close to them for them to ignore me. I went on to offering my hand for greetings to the lady, and without even saying who I was, I asked her of what she thought about my dressing. At first, she appeared perplexed; she looked at me in the eye as she tried to ponder what I really meant. Then maybe, she thought it was a prank and she laughed at it. At that moment, the man next to her, who had allowed me all the time to express myself, started to act protective. Nevertheless, I insisted on my question. Then they went on to explain that they thought that my pair of shoes was actually awesome. I knew that was a quite an open flatter, considering that one of the shoes was brandy new while the other was worn out, oversize shoe, which did not even match in color. I walked straight away when I noticed that they were getting uncomfortable when I asked the couple if I should take my shoes off so that they could see my socks too. I walked without notice, leaving them baffled with my behavior.
After the first encounter, I felt justified to go on with my experimentation. I went to a middle-aged man who was busy talking on the phone, stood directly in front of him, waited for him to terminate the call and then I walked straight ahead past him. This really caught him by surprise. I felt like laughing to myself but I suppressed the laughter and took courage to move on to my next targets who were two ladies, seemingly in their early 20’s. Instead of offering a handshake, this time I decided to push it further into trying to hug them. The first one turned me down but the next one laughingly proceeded to hug me back. I asked them about my shoes and the socks I was wearing and they both agreed that they really looked bad on me. I frowned to fake disappointment.
An interesting part of the encounter was a meeting with a couple that appeared to be in their late 40’s. Somewhere in the middle of my awkward interrogation, they complemented me on choosing such a funny prank. I pretended that I did not know what they were talking of. Then, they went on to insist that they thought that it was the assignment from my sociology class. I had to admit to this fact, and they went on to explain that their son, who occurs to be my classmate, had been working on his experiment too. We ended up becoming friends with the couple and they even invited me for dinner that evening. It was such a nice way of ending my day.
In conclusion, I learned that social norms regulate how people behave in interactions with others. People question others behavior when they fail to meet their expectations. However, breaking the norms can sometimes be fun, especially when there are no ethical or legal implications. I also learned that I can be a good actor and that I have great social skills because at the end of it all, I ended up making new friend, and earning a dinner invitation. The tasks of the assignment were actually fun to accomplish.
References
Fehr, E., & Fischbacher, U. (2004). Third-party punishment and social norms. Evolution and human behavior , 25 (2), 63-87.
Nyborg, K., Anderies, J. M., Dannenberg, A., Lindahl, T., Schill, C., Schlüter, M. & Chapin, F. S. (2016). Social norms as solutions. Science , 354 (6308), 42-43.
Posner, E. A. (2009). Law and social norms . Harvard university press.
