Analytic Thought/Reflection Paper

Family concepts are diverse. It is significant to understand how various concepts play a crucial role in the family. A family is influenced by various factors depending on how people conceptualize it. These factors range from religion, culture, family resilience, emotional climate, and interdependence. In this case scenario, various concepts are suspected to have influence Gail and Tom divorce. In this paper I will give a reflection on family concepts, factors to consider in the current scenario of this family, decision Gail is making and how she needs to proceed, and discuss various factors I need to know about this separated family to give a clear analysis in the scenario. 

Family resilience is a crucial concept for family development. This concept gives a family an ability to endure and rebound from all disruptive life challenges. Nine processes revolving around beliefs, communication, and organization of families have been identified to shape response in the case of family adversity (Harold & Leve, 2018) . If Gail family had a shared belief, it would enable the family to find meaning in case of adversity, promote hope and positive stance. Belief also can be related to spirituality or faith which can give this family a bigger purpose. If this family had a common belief, it is likely that they would see the crisis they were going through as a transformative opportunity. Communication is also an important factor in the case of family adversity. 

Communication in Gail family would be an effective way of saving the family from divorce. Communication would provide a clear, tolerance and encouraging resolution in case of a misunderstanding. Expressing emotions would ensure that opinions are freely expressed to foster a collaborative spirit in solving the problem (Harold & Leve, 2018) . Contrary in this scenario, Gail and Tom's family, was full of tension without communication on whether to first see a counselor before filing a divorce. The organization factor would also provide an effective way of solving this family adversity. The organization factor would promote connectedness, flexibility, and build social networks in the time of need. Children too need to see their parent communicate to learn from them. The tension environment that persisted in Gail’s family is likely to discourage the children from learning basic skills. 

A positive emotional climate is likely to foster a strong relationship. Gail family was emotionally disconnected, living like roommates. The misunderstanding and differences Tom was complaining about would be resolved if various emotional factors would be incorporated. One factor they would put into consideration to promote emotional climate is spending time to talk about what is drifting them away. I recommend that Tom should listen and not try to resolve the problem to avoid instanced of misunderstanding. Another emotional factor this family would have to incorporate is increasing affection by doing simple things like hugging each other and touching knee while relaxing on a coach. Affection through contacts increases oxytocin and the sense of contact (Harold & Leve, 2018) . Other factors to promote emotional climate include planning a couple of time and doing frequent check in during the day. Similarly, a positive emotional climate ensures that children grow in an environment where they experience love. Conclusively A positive emotional cohesion is likely to bring an overall cohesion in a family. 

In this scenario, there was no interdependence between Gail and Tom. Each person stayed independently like adolescents not realizing the benefit of interdependence. Interdependence foster a strong marriage where each party support each other and also compensate for each other in time of needs. Similarly, interdependence creates a robust bond between spouses and promote growth. 

Various family stressors result in divorce. One family stressor likely to affect the relationship in this scenario in having children. Children often create discord in a marriage. A study affirms that 67% of the couple are unhappy during the first three years of marriage (Harold & Leve, 2018) . Job changes can also lead to divorce and in this case, Tom was promoted to work in another state. The marriage is this scenario is not adaptable. It is not adaptable to the current need and life transitions. Adaptability is crucial as it enables a couple to change over time with experience. Similarly, in an adaptive marriage, each spouse remains curious of each other restraining from assumptions and hasty conclusions. 

Various factors have led to the deterioration of the family to its present state. The current situation has affected the children since they don’t see their father regularly as before. Diana and Cara no longer have a father figure which is likely to affect their emotional life. This divorce has weakened the parent-children relationship. Gail has continually relied on her siblings to take care of her children on weekends for her to go on a date with Peter. The sibling's dependence can further affect the children relationship with their mother since its only on weekend children can find free time to interact with their parent. Culture plays a significant role in controlling all life aspects ranging from economical to relationships, fertility, and preferences concerning child gender (Harold & Leve, 2018) . There was a higher likelihood that Tom and Gail have a cultural difference which led to divorce. 

Tom should focus on staying close to his children and support Diana and Cara both financially and emotionally until Gail marries Peter. Children wellbeing should be a priority in this scenario. Also, Gail should find an appropriate time to meet Peter to ensure that children find parental support all the time. 

I think the decision Gail is making is a right. The children are young and need to have a father while they grow up. Gail should proceed by marrying Peter and giving marriage a second chance. One reason that Gail should remarry is that being married to Peter can be a completely different experience from the one she was experiencing with Tom. Also, I think that Gail has learned a lot from her previous failed marriage. Another reason is that what happened in the previous relationship might not happen with the next relationship. Previously, maybe Gail was dumb, but now she is older and can make better judgments. Another reason is it would be healthier if Gail paired up which will be supportive in her life. Additionally, I think marriage is good for the soul and Gail is meant to have companionship. If Gail is sure that she has found the right partner she should proceed in marriage. 

Before analyzing this case, I need to know various factors that might have led to this divorce. This case scenario has not outlined all the aspects that led to divorce. For instance, the psychologists believe divorce is common among the children of divorced parents. The marriage patterns and divorce are closely linked between parents and children. Psychologists found that personality genes controlling traits like impulsivity and neuroticism are inheritable and closely linked to higher chances of divorce (Harold & Leve, 2018) . This scenario has not elaborated on the marriage life of Gail and Tom parents. 

Another factor I would like to know is Tom and Gail alcohol habits. A study conducted in the University of Buffalo found that among couples where one is a heavy drinker, and the other merely drink, there is a chance that 45-55% of the couples get divorced before reaching their 10 th anniversary (Harold & Leve, 2018) . Meanwhile, in instances where both partners drink or both partners neither drink, only 35% of the couple have a divorce. In this scenario, Tom and Gail drinking habits have not been outlined. 

Also, the marriage age between Tom and Gail has not been stated in this scenario. Divorce is likely to be experienced among spouses who marry at the early 20s and late 30s than those who marry at late 20s and early 30s (Harold & Leve, 2018) . Also, Gail religion has not been stated in this scenario. According to national health statistics data, religious women are more likely to stay in a relationship compared to women with a defined religion. 53% of Catholic women can stay in a relationship for 20 years, 50% for protestant women, and 65% in other religions (Harold & Leve, 2018) . Contrary, women raised in the irreligious background have a 43% chance of surviving in marriage. 

Reference  

Harold, G. T., & Leve, L. D. (2018). Parents as partners: How the parental relationship affects children’s psychological development. How Couple Relationships Shape our World (pp. 25-56). Routledge.