Anxious preoccupied attachment style describes about one fifth of the world's population. The childhood of people who belong to this attachment style is often inconsistent. The childhood has some instances of loving and stable parental attention. Other times are symbolized by reversed roles, where the child has has to act as the parent. Parents of such a child have unresolved psychological issues that make them incapable of handling the child with consistency. The child therefore begins to associate the parents rare attention with love. This perception is carried on into adulthood as the grown up associates constant attention with love and commitment.
The friendships of such adults do not often last because these adults are self centred and they demand too much. They do take the feelings of others into consideration and instead they demand for things to be done their way. The adults with other attachment styles attempt to express their emotional disapproval but the anxious preoccupied adult ignores this .The friendship inevitably ends at this point. This behaviour is similar to the habits of a clingy child who does not get enough time or attention with their parents. (Umemura, , Lacinová, &Macek, 2015)
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According to Simpson and Rholes (2017), intimate relationships may go either way as the adult will still require constant affirmation and reassurance. Well attached adults may associate such habits with simple insecurity and they may do their best to help cope with it. The preoccupied adult may push away a significant other due to their desire to occupy all their partners free time. The fear of abandonment may lead to extreme action such as abandonment of career advancement or social life. Manipulation and control of their spouses often mark the end of romantic relationships. However, these adults may find lasting relationships if they engage a mutually dependent partner. The key to healthy relationships for this group is developing a self independence and confidence.
References
Simpson, J. A., " Rholes, W. S. (2017). Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships. Current opinion in psychology, 13, 19-24.
Umemura, T., Lacinová, L., " Macek, P. (2015). Is emerging adults’ attachment preference for the romantic partner transferred from their attachment preferences for their mother, father, and friends?. Emerging Adulthood, 3(3), 179-193.
