Explain what a collaborative relationship is and give an example from your own life
A collaborative relationship is a term given to the concept of two or more people working together so that they can achieve common goals. Normally, different people have different views and perceptions about situations and life in general. Accordingly, a collaborative process is implemented to allow individuals to communicate with each other effectively. The complexity of a collaboration process creates the need for listening, trust, understanding and respect (Kottler & Brew, 2003). For a collaborative process to be successful, participants must take the needs of other members into account. Essentially, treating others as valuable assets and understanding their needs fosters positive growth in a relationship. Similarly, enhancing safety and respect facilitates the development of a collaborative relationship.
I developed a collaborative relationship last year with a religious counsellor when I was suffering from depression. It all started as normal friendship, but the person noticed later that I was depressed but trying desperately to hide it from the rest of the world. The person was so respectful and understanding but at first, I was so hostile, and I felt as if I was being victimized. I was resistant and insisted that there was nothing wrong with my life or my health. However, as the incidences of talking increased, I began to open up even before I was asked.
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What communication skills are needed to build collaborative relationships?
Collaborative relationships require people who can listen and understand each other. For example, as a therapist, you must listen to your clients. Listening provides room for understanding and assessing clients’ needs (Kottler & Brew, 2003). A therapist cannot help a client before he/she acquires enough information from the client. Respect is fundamental in collaborative relationships. Respect is shaped by how a person approaches another at the beginning of a relationship. To make the other person feel respected, it is important to show politeness, validation and support. On the hand, rushed judgement, exaggerated criticism and manipulation should be avoided (Kottler &Brew, 2003).
Friendliness is a communication skill that grows collaborative relationships. Showing care, mindfulness, reassurance, support, love and concern to the other person helps in building trust. It also enhances openness, courage, and confidence. Empathy is another essential communication skill for building collaborative relationships. Empathy is the ability to experience the feelings and pain of others (Kottler &Brew, 2003). It is the ability to put personal feelings and emotions aside and share those of others. Empathetic partners make their team members feel as if they are not alone in their frustrations and despair. Empathy shows sensitivity to the problems and situations of others.
Give one personal example in your life where you had what you would call a healthy collaborative relationship as well as one that was not healthy. Explain why these relationships were healthy or not based on what you read in the text
My collaborative relationship with the religious counsellor was healthy because she was able to impact me positively. She worked hard to help me eliminate the thoughts of victimization. I experienced a lot of support, love and encouragement. I stopped feeling as if the whole world was against me and imagined that I would do so much better if I stopped looking at every situation from a negative perspective. I can recall incidences of transference during the early stages of the therapy sessions. I constantly felt as if the counsellor was getting it all wrong. However, as she continued to assure me of her support and care, I realized that her sole intention was to help me get better.
Initially, my friend had tried to talk me out of my problems, but I felt as if she was pushing herself too much into my personal space. She insisted that I was always complaining and I needed to change. Honestly, the advice was so unwelcome because I perceived it as judgement. I could not understand how a friend used weaknesses (that I could not see anyway) to judge me. We constantly got into arguments, and I began to resent her. The relationship was unhealthy because I did not feel like I needed any help. Secondly, it lacked objectivity because my friend and I are age mates.
Reference
Kottler, A. J., & Brew, L. (2003). One Life at a Time: Helping Skills and Interventions. New York: Brunner-Routledge
