By the age of 3 years old, children are able to form their significant gender identity. This means that they are aware that they are either boys or girls. As a result, there are certain behaviors, interests, practices and even toys that are associated with their particular genders and not the opposite sex. These differences in behavior and patterns of interaction become more apparent in both. Boys are depicted to be more physical and active in their play than the girls who are more acquiescent, less physical and play closer to the adult figures in their lives. However, interaction with peers helps children learn about their gender roles in the society and shape their attitude sand behaviors into the sexes they identify with. As a child, I was able to identify significant expectations for interacting with boys in elementary and middle school ages.
Expectations for Girls Interactions with Boys 5-9
Between the age of 5 and 9 years old, gender identity is strongly long. Though children understand that they are different from the boys, there was little trouble establishing friendships. The gender roles were evidently known to both sexes and with the significant influence of the social environment was an important factor towards cementing these ideals. Strong views of gender stereotypes were depicted in the interactions due to significant exposure from home, school, society and the media. The girls at this age were expected to take up roles of more passive roles as the boys took up the more active and challenging roles. In this regard, boys were depicted to be resistant to the involvement of girls in their play. For instance, when playing soccer which was a common practice during recess, I had once tried to play with the boys but they refused. Some of them even indicated that I am too weak to be able to join in their game.
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Such strong stereotypes would lead to a lot of crying and having self pity because I was not a boy. Showing any form of sadness in front of the boys would further cement the beliefs that they had develop. Some of them would laugh scornfully to further show they have won some sort of battle of the sexes. In the classroom, things were no different as there was a clear divide between the boys and girls. Girls would usually opt to sit at the front of the class closer to the teachers while the boys take up much of the desks at the back. A similar thing happens during choice time where the boys take up math and counting games while girls are more inclined to undertake writing games. Even though math was one of my favorite subjects, I would conform to these expectations of gender.
Expectations for Girls Interactions with Boys 12-13
At the middle-school age between 11 and 14 years, there was some significant difference in interactions between boys and girls. While in elementary-school, friendships were almost non-existent as we would only become friends for the purpose of current activities. However, as we grew older, I started to realize that indeed friendships can last longer than just recess hour or choice time. There was a particular boy who seemed to protect me from the jibes and stereotypical beliefs of other boys. He would call on me to play math games and other activities that were normally not associated with girls. I was better at math so it would also serve as an opportunity for me to help him. As we became closer as we progressed in our childhood, so were the calls for me to break-off my friendship with him. Unlike other girls, I was the only who seemed to be in the company of a boy more often than my gender.
I could not comprehend what was going on as some teachers, neighbors and even my relatives seemed concerned about by friendship with him. It was only after learning about puberty and subsequently experiencing it that I came to understand what the adults around me were thinking. The expectation was that girls should maintain relationships or friendships with boys but with great caution. The belief was that as a maturing young woman I would fall prey to the advances of boys in later years. Fearing stern punishment from my parents who were largely traditionalists, I was able to maintain a close friendship with a boy while ensuring that I had a more profound relation with other girls. This would ensure that I conform to the expectations of my gender. Popularity also became a common expectation in interactions. The friendlier relations that one seemed to have the more likely the individual would receive a higher status among peers. There were even nominations for who is the most “liked” or “disliked”. For one reason or another, I would rarely feature on either end of the spectrum.
Reflections
As per my experience in these two stages of life, there was significant pressure to subscribe to these scripts of gender roles. While boys would easily conform to their prescribed roles, I felt pressured to do something that I did not want. I was free with myself and believed I should have a choice of what I want for my life. Since the moment, the boys refused to play soccer with me, I felt that by being a girl there were certain limits to my ability. It is evident that the society is plays significant part in shaping gender-typed beliefs that become more apparent in the behaviors persons depict as adults. The girls who are forced to conform to passive and more submissive roles are less likely to defend themselves. For the boys who are taught that this is the role that girls should play they could present chauvinistic behaviors as adults. In light of this, it is impossible to correct behaviors at adulthood when at the younger ages they are emphasized more sternly.
