Bringing up a child who has special needs is a challenging task. The role brings unexpected stress that can adversely affect a person’s wellbeing. Parenting a special needs child brings about resentment, uncertainty of what is best for the child, and frustration which emanates from information inconsistencies offered by specialists ( Keck & Kupecky, 2014) . Parents also contend with sadness for dreams not fulfilled coupled with guilt. Additional challenges include irritation towards the purportedly helpful advice from friends who have no idea about the daily stress that the parents undergo. Difficulties arise from the attempts to research, locate and access effective treatment and resources ( Whitaker, 2015) . Paying for the many treatments and interventions not covered by the school system and the health care insurance adds to the hard time which the parents have to experience. Coping mechanism are instrumental in enabling parents deal with the physical and emotional demands of bringing up and caring for a child with special need ( Smith et al., 2015) .
I have always desired to be a mother. In my childhood, I had a fantasy of having twins, a boy and a girl. I was more than eager to start a family after getting married. After marriage, I spent a period of 2 years being childless. I had a void in my life which I felt would be filled the moment I became a mother. Bearing a child would give me a sense of purpose I was longing for. In my third year of marriage, I was fortunate to sire a boy who brought joy and a kind of love I did not know existed. At four and a half months old, I recall him military-crawling across the sitting room and thinking that it was a mere physical phenomenon. At one and a half years old, doctors diagnosed the boy with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ADHD and symphysis pubis dysfunction ( SPD ). I did not know immediately what the conditions were but from my observation, I knew that he was different from other kids.
Delegate your assignment to our experts and they will do the rest.
At four years old, when his peers could pay attention to directives from their parents to keep them from bodily harm, the boy always ignored my warning and would run wildly and carefree through parking lots as I yelled at him to stop. While parenting ought to have made me happy and complete, the role brought unprecedented sadness and fear. I realized that motherhood was taking larger toll on my wellbeing than I anticipated. It took me a while to accept that I had to live with the challenge of taking care of a child with special needs. The first few years were confusing and depressing. I ultimately came to the realization that the caring a child with special needs required different sets of coping mechanisms. I have completely overhauled my life and now have a different view on the parenting role than I had before. I employ various coping strategies to remain sane and productive as a special needs mother.
I first decided to find a support system to help me cope with the reality. One of the support system was the assistance I sought from other special needs mothers. I felt that I needed other people who have had a similar experience raising special needs children. I particularly bonded with three parents whose children had previously been diagnosed with ADHD and SPD. The mothers serve as my support pillar and help me overcome sadness or guilt. Finding other mothers who were walking the same path helped me discover new resources and coping strategies to keep me going. Realizing that I was not the only parent who feels guilty and frustrated about the extra challenges of bring up a special child makes life a bit easier emotionally.
Asking for help is another coping strategy that has played a pivotal role in my parental role. I came to the realization that seeking help is a sign of strength not weakness. I often open up about my challenges to different parties such as pediatricians who are usually helpful in referring me to specialists of ADHD and SPD. I also solicit help from the child’s teachers for additional suggestions to help the boy academically. Counselors, church ministers and clergy offer emotional and spiritual support which strengthens me more.
Taking care of myself has been a critical coping mechanism in enabling me deal with the stress, sadness and guilt that arises from the parenting role. I often allow myself 5-15 minutes every day strictly to meditate and think about my parenting journey. I also indulge in activities that relax my body such as reading a few pages from a funny or inspirational book. Exercising has also played a key role in relaxing my body. Cardio work outs and stretching on daily basis improves my mental and physical health.
I stopped comparing my child to those of my peers. Previously, I would observe other neuro-typical children and wish that my child was similar to them. I however accepted his condition that acknowledged that every child is endowed differently. I take pride in him knowing that he is brilliant and unique in his own right. Getting a babysitter was also instrumental in helping me cope w ith my role. Allowing someone else to stay with the boy gives me ample time to rewind and take care of myself physically, emotionally and psychologically.
References
Keck, G., & Kupecky, R. (2014). Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special-Needs Kids-A Guide for Parents and Professionals . Tyndale House.
Smith, J., Cheater, F., & Bekker, H. (2015). Parents' experiences of living with a child with a long ‐ term condition: a rapid structured review of the literature. Health Expectations , 18 (4), 452-474.
Whitaker, T. (2015). Dealing with difficult parents: And with parents in difficult situations . Routledge.
