Parents play a very crucial role in the overall development of a child. In essence, parents provide moral, social, financial and emotional support for the children, which is essential in shaping their character. As such if a parent dies, a child is set to suffer largely as his or her support system has come to an abrupt and unexpected end. Following the death of a parent(s), a child may be required to find alternatives to fill this space something that is virtually impossible. Consequently, such a child loses focus and direction and he or she is left at the mercy of the larger and unsympathetic society. In this regard, it is essential to understand how the death of apparent affects the overall well-being of a child and the necessary interventions to prevent a crisis.
Children who are below 18 years of age are considered heavily dependent on their parents for emotional and spiritual guidance as well as for the provision of educational and dietary needs. If then a parent dies before a child becomes independent a crisis is likely to occur which may affect the child overall developmental process. The reason for the crisis is the fact that the normal child life has been disrupted forcing the child to seek alternative means. According to Ellis, Dowrick, and Lloyd-Wiliams (2013), bereaved children are likely to engage in negative behavior in an attempt to fill the vacuum created by the death of a parent. Some of the negative behaviors children may engage in the include substance abuse criminal behavior. Consequently, engagement in these behaviors, in turn, lead to academic underachievement, vulnerability to depression and reduced employment rates among such children
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Developmental Impacts related to the death of a parent (s)
The death of a parent impacts negatively on the overall development of a child, in this case, a child who is below 18 years of age. At this age, the children rely on their parents for essentially everything ranging from food, clothing, shelter, and education. More so the child relies on the parent for emotional wellbeing something that helps shape a child destiny. Additionally, parents at this stage become the pillars for these children where they can vent their frustrations in life without fear of reprimand or reprisal. This kind of relationship is what keeps the children going even when life events become too challenging to handle. Furthermore, children rely on their parents to gain an identity, which creates a haven for such children. At this point in life, such children lack knowledge on being independent people as their parents fill that gap. In this regard then, a child who is used to having his or her parent around cannot easily come to terms with the death of a parent. The death of a parent, in essence, means that life has come to a halt and the child becomes hopeless and desolate.
The death of a parent means that a child has to make some adjustments to cope with the challenges and harsh realities of life. However, this is not an easy feat considering that this child has had someone to tackle the challenges for him or her. More so Cas et al. (2011) assert that the child whose parents have died may lack the basic life and survival skills necessary to navigate through the challenges of life. This child is forced to take on adult challenges on his something that child is not used to and not well equipped to undertake. What follows then is guesswork as the child tries to understand how the world works. In the quest to survive the child is bound to make numerous errors which can translate to unbalanced developmental process. In this case, the child is forced to skip the childhood stages of fantasy and carefree as he or she engages in an adult world of responsibilities. The situation can become worse if the child has younger siblings looking up to him or her to survive. As a result, such a child is forced to take up the role of a parent to fend for his or her siblings. Following such a scenario, the child ends up growing more speedily than expected which will have lasting negative effects in his or her life.
Children who have lost their parents at a tender age face numerous challenges, which are cognitive, emotional, social and moral in nature. In an attempt to form new identities, these children find themselves at a crossroad in trying to absorb the consequences of the loss. Most of these children undergo through traumatic times as they try to come into terms with the loss of a parent. The situation is worse where children lose both parents as this can cripple their entire lifeline. The death of a parent(s) according to Coyne and Beckman (2012) brings life to a standstill and the children are forced to grapple with the harsh realities of having to go through life on their own. The society, which they feel, is their hope for a continued life may become hostile to such children as they are deemed as vulnerable, these children instead of getting help from the said society instead get the worst treatment. Some people including the children relatives end up taking advantage of such children by exploiting them sexually or through hard labor for their own benefit causing emotional stresses. These children suffer morally as they lack someone to train him or her on valuable ethical lessons. Instead, such children are likely to come up with their own moral code, which does not measure up with societal expectations. The children may end up engaging in criminal behavior in an attempt to make ends meet, as they do not any other means to survive.
Faith Perspectives Related To the Death of a Parent(s)
The loss of a parent is usually a major blow to the child or the children who have to find new ways of survival. The children may be lucky to find caring caregivers who are willing to fill the gap left behind by the parent(s). Older children say those in their teenage years may find solace in the face of this bereavement. The Christians, for example, may find comfort in knowing that God is the father to the fatherless and the orphans and that He cares for them (Psalms 68:5). Additionally, such children may be comforted in knowing that everything happens according to Gods plan and that everything happens for good (Romans 8:28). Such knowledge and an understanding may help them forge ahead even in the face of difficulties. According to American Cancer Society (2015), a belief in a higher power may keep them going in the hope that one-day things will be better in spite of the loss. More so, this kind of faith may help them to accept the situation easily and start a life of recovery as quickly. However, this may not ring true to younger children who are yet to capture the concept of God in this manner. Others may instead become bitter and wonder why God allowed their parent (s) to die and eave them to suffer. In fact, they might reject religion in its entirety and try to look for alternative solutions
Professional Perspectives Related To the Loss of a Parent(s)
Children who have lost a parent(s) require professional help to navigate through this traumatic and difficult experience. Human service providers can come in handy in helping these children come to terms and cope with the effects of such a loss (Hirsch, 2012). More so, the human service providers need to come up with effective measures of rehabilitating these children who engage in substance use and criminal activities to survive. Rehabilitation of such children can be facilitated in foster homes where the children are provided with basic and educational need to go back to normalcy. Additionally, the human service providers can place these children with relatives after conducting a thorough background check on such relatives. In cases where a child has lost only one parent, these providers can provide emotional and financial aid to help the remaining parent and the child (children) cope with the loss. In doing this, the burden of the loss becomes lighter, and life can easily go back to what it used to be before the loss.
In conclusion, parents play a crucial role in the overall development of a child. As such the death of a parent(s) throws a child off balance as he or she grapples with the hard reality of facing life on his or her own. The loss forces a child to grow up more quickly and skips vital stages of carefree and life fantasies. The situation is worse if both parents die and the older children are forced to fend for their siblings. The adult tasks come with emotional, social and moral challenges as the child try to fit into adult roles they are not prepared for. However, the situation can be eased by leaning on religion, which may offer hope, thus increase a child faith, and hope for a more fulfilled life. More so, human services provide help to such children get back on track through offering emotional, social and moral support. Following this, it is crucial for the society to develop strategies to help such children to help them develop normally as children who have their parents in their entire childhood.
Resources to Help Children Cope With the Death of a Parent(s)
No Matter What by Debi Gliori
What’s Heaven? By Maria Shriver and Sandra Speidel
These books are meant to help young children understand what death is about. More so it helps children understand that life will still go on in spite of losing a parent. Most importantly, the books help young children come to terms with the loss of a parent. They help children get an assurance that their parents still love them even in death thus giving them the much-needed comfort. The books make use of real-life examples to answer the questions that revolve around the topic of parent’s death.
References
American Cancer Society. (2015). Spiritual and religious beliefs may help comfort children. Retrieved on 7 February 2018 from https://www.cancer.org/treatment/children-and-cancer/when-a-family-member-has-cancer/dealing-with-parents-terminal-illness/comfort-from-faith.html.
Cas, A. G., Frankenberg, E., Suriastini, W. & Thomas, D. (2011). The impact of parental death on child well-being. Demography, 52 (2), 437–457.
Coyne, R. & Beckman, T. O. (2012). Loss of a parent by death: Determining student impact. International Journal of Psychology: A Biopsychosocial Approach 2012(10), 109–123.
Ellis, J., Dowrick. C. & Lloyd-Wiliams, M. (2013). The long-term impact of early parental death: lessons from a narrative study. Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, 106 (2): 57–67.
Hirsch, M. D. (2012). Helping a Child Cope with the Death of a Parent. Retrieved on 7 February 2018 from http://mil.ccs.k12.nc.us/files/2012/06/Children-and-loss-of-parent.pdf
