Transition to parenthood has been seen as the cause of decline in marital satisfaction especially in women as early as 1957 which in turn leads to many divorce cases in the world. Yet there are those who are not satisfied but they are not ready to give up on their marriages. A study was carried out to research on whether the obstacles that come during the first few months of parenthood can be overcome to save marriages and thus reduce decline in marital satisfaction. This essay reviews a study that was carried out to identify the factors that affect the marital friendship of couples after a child is born during in the beginning months of marriage.
Feldman carried a study that showed that although 43% of new parents faced a decline in marital satisfaction, 39% had a stable marital satisfaction and 18% had an increase in their marital satisfaction. The rate of decline in marital satisfaction is also high in childless marriages due to depression that the couples experience making them to stay apart. The study was meant to examine the couples even before they get pregnant, that is at the beginning of their marriage, and what causes the drastic change in their marital relationship (Daleon, 1999).
Delegate your assignment to our experts and they will do the rest.
The study also examines the possibility that the attitude of the couples towards their marriage might actually affect their marital situation. An oral history was prepared to determine this by asking the couples questions such as: what was the situation of their marriage at the beginning? What were their attitudes towards marriage at the beginning? What is their marital situation at the moment? The interview would be able to predict the marital stability versus divorce through the couple’s behavior. For instance, criticism and negativity expressed towards by a spouse were signs of a divorce while fondness and admiration of a spouse towards their partner predicts a lasting and stable marital relationship.
A two stage sampling was used having newly-wed couples in a longitudinal side and childless couples as well. The study involved both sexes who participated in assessment. The average 25-year-old wife had 120.4 martial satisfaction levels while 26-year-old married men had satisfaction levels of 115.9. Schumm, Barnes, Bollman, Jurich, & Bugaighis (1986) among other researchers found interest topics in marital satisfaction, especially among young college students who were young in marriage. The target age group for these researches was between 23 to 25 years of age.
Comparison between Baby and the Marriage and Rocking the Cradle
Both articles mention parenthood as the single most significant factor that reduces the happiness in the marriage. Most men feel abandoned by their wives while women feel overburdened and exhausted. It is a breaking point of many marriages pushing the couples at the edge. Women in 70% marriages experience a decline in their marital satisfaction after the birth of their newborn (Daleon, 1999). Relationships that were strained in the past are more affected when the baby is born. They experience stressful situations and more difficult relationships. Marriages with mothers who raise the infants without supportive partners face more difficult situations such that it pushes them to the point of getting divorced (Jordan, Stanley, & Markman, 1999).
The two articles acknowledge that negative feelings towards their partner and criticism are the things that lead a marriage to divorce. Attacking your partner’s character and making him or her to feel inadequate makes the other spouse feel unappreciated which in turn pushes him or her away. Moreover, the interpersonal interaction between partners in a couple determined the progress of the marriage in the face of changes to the marriage, including the addition – or failure thereof – of a child. On the other hand, giving positive comment about your spouse and showing them that you care about them deeply improves the marital status and their friendship as well which in turn creates a lasting relationship.
Both articles agree that women are more affected than men. Shapiro (2000) noticed that most new mothers are really affected when they become parents. If they are working, they have an additional full-time job of raising the child and they are forced to adopt a different lifestyle that they were not used to. If they are not working, they also have the challenge of being separated or finding new mothers like themselves as a new social circle. The husbands carried on their work as usual and they did everything as a routine which makes them not to realize that their wives are dissatisfied with their marriage. Wives become unhappy even before the children are one year old (Belsky & Kelly, 1995).
The articles suggested that therapy could help the parents get back to their loving relationships. Communicating often with their spouse on what they are going through could actually save their marriage. The couples should attend workshops that help them talk about the happiest moments in their lives and the stressful situations that they are facing so that they can remember what a healthy marriage felt like. Expectant couples could also participate in programs that prepare their minds on the transition to parenthood. This will ensure that the partners continue loving their spouses as they maintain their good relationship. The therapy helps the couples also on how to take care of the child as family so that the wife doesn’t feel overburdened with the responsibility of raising the child (Cowan & Cowan, 1992).
Lastly, the comparison between the professional source and a webpage article has revealed a lot of differences. While the Seattle Times article said almost the same thing that the journal article stated, there was extensive research that was conducted in the case of the journal article, and further subjected to peer reviewing before its publishing as opposed to the Seattle Times article that was possibly just subjected to simple strategies of editorial comments. As such, technical writing engaged in the journal article by Shapiro has been subjected to rigorous testing before being published while the processes in the webpage article cannot be said to have gone through the same processes.
References
Belsky, J., & Kelly, J. (1995). The Transition to Parenthood. Pennsylvania: Penn State University Press.
Cowan, P., & Cowan, C. (1992). When Partners Become Parents: The Big Life Change for Couples. New York: Blackwell Publishers.
Daleon, F. (1999). Rocking the Cradle of Marriage . Retrieved May 18, 2016, from Seattle Times: http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.com/archive/?date=19991024&slug=2990888
Jordan, P., Stanley, S., & Markman, H. (1999). Becoming Parents: How to Strengthen Your Marriage as Your Family Grows. New York: Adventure Works Press.
Schumm, W. R., Barnes, H. L., Bollman, S. R., Jurich, A. P., & Bugaighis, M. A. (1986). Self-disclosure and marital satisfaction revisited. Family Relations , 241-247.
Shapiro, S., Gottman, M., & Carrere, S. (2000). The baby and the marriage: Identifying factors that buffer against decline in marital satisfaction after the first baby arrives. Journal of Family Psychology, 14 , 59-70.
