Trauma bonds are not unbreakable, and usually, it is the first step that is hardest to take. The farther one goes, the more it is seen, the farther one goes from a toxic/abusive relationship, the more someone sees the destruction it has caused ( Hobfoll et al., 2009) . One can 'detox' themselves from the trauma bond by breaking them and staying away from such a relationship. The first step is to recognize and acknowledge being in a trauma bond. Connect with reality and get help to break it. Self-awareness can help break the shackles that keep us chained.
Don't fantasize about the idea that one's partner might change someday. Truth and reality should not be traded for a fake promise. One should be grounded in reality and not in false hopes. Self-care and self-compassion are vital to regaining inner strength. Self-care, like meditation or prayer, exercise, psychotherapy, talking to a trusted one, indulging in a hobby should be tried (Hobfoll et al., 2009) . Engaging in productive and fulfilling activities can as well be of help. This will make one spend less time thinking of the disaster. Forgetting can be an effective part of the healing process.
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Acknowledge feelings; when involved in trauma bonds, there is always a tendency to become numb. There is so much pain involved that some end up shutting themselves down from feeling anything (Tekin, 2019). Becoming aware of this feeling can give a lot of motivation, insight, and help in becoming healthier by turning the emotions back on. Dealing with emotions is one of the most empowering things to overcome when overcoming a trauma bond.
Trauma therapy works because it goes to the root of the problem: the nervous system's dysregulation (Dückers, 2013) . By reprogramming the brain, the individual then has the mental space, the objective perception, and the energy to feel motivated to rewrite their stories. Ending the cycle of abuse and trauma bonding is never easy but certainly possible.
References
Dückers, M. L. (2013). Five essential principles of post-disaster psychosocial care: Looking back and forward with Stevan Hobfoll. European Journal of Psychotraumatology , 4 (1), 21914. https://doi.org/10.3402/ejpt.v4i0.21914
Hobfoll, S. E., Watson, P., Bell, C. C., Bryant, R. A., Brymer, M. J., Friedman, M. J., Friedman, M., Gersons, B. P., Jong, J. T., Layne, C. M., Maguen, S., Neria, Y., Norwood, A. E., Pynoos, R. S., Reissman, D., Ruzek, J. I., Shalev, A. Y., Solomon, Z., Steinberg, A. M., … Ursano, R. J. (2009). Five essential elements of immediate and mid-term mass trauma intervention: Empirical evidence. FOCUS , 7 (2), 221-242. https://doi.org/10.1176/foc.7.2.foc221
Tekin, F. (2019, July 1). Mass trauma, PTSD, and treatment options . The Fountain Magazine. https://fountainmagazine.com/2019/issue-130-july-aug-2019/mass-trauma-ptsd-and-treatment-options