One of the factors that lead to separation and divorce of parents is conflict. While some parents may opt to remain in a marriage in the face of low levels of conflict, most parents opt out when the conflict exceeds a particular level. One of the myths held by parents at the time of divorce is that the children will be fine despite the occurrences associated with the same. This assumption has seen parents lead their lives normally without caring about the effects of the divorce on their children. The preschoolers are the most affected lot when parents divorce as they may be assumed to have no feelings or knowledge about the occurrences in their environment. It is, therefore, imperative to explore the biopsychosocial effects that a high conflict divorce may have on preschoolers amidst the myth held by the divorcing parties that the children will be fine.
Preschool children are those that are yet to commence studies in school but have some knowledge about the occurrences in their surroundings. The age-group that is commonly considered herein is three to five years. A theory that is mostly applied in describing the effects of parental divorce on children is that of Troxel and Matthews. This theory proposes that divorce is one cause of stress in a family which then leads to the disruption of parental endeavors and eventual economic instability. When coupled with biological, social, and interpersonal vulnerabilities, divorce culminates into emotional deregulation in children and insecurity yielding behavioral, affectional, and cognitive problems (Nunes-Costa, Lamela & Figueiredo, 2009). Studies have showed that preschool children experience the severest risks in development due to their lower capacity to adapt to social pathways and adjust their emotions accordingly as compared to the older siblings. Their cognition and emotional capability comprise of premature structures, making it difficult for them to realistically assess the causes, progression, and effects of divorce. Eventually, they may end up blaming themselves for the disruption that arises. Their stress level is further boosted by the fact that they do not have the capacity to solicit family assistance that may enable them to cope efficiently (Nunes-Costa, et. al., 2009). The implication is that such children have more psychosocial problems in their development than others who are older.
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Divorce and conflicts in marriages are also key factors that influence the behavior of preschool children. Behavioral problems extend to other developmental stages such that preschoolers escalate with their negative behavior in school and to adulthood. Divorce also causes the hyperactivity disorder in preschoolers making it difficult to control their negative behavior even in the face of psychological intervention (Haimi & Lerner, 2016). The social relationships between the mother and the child are highly affected as the child’s level of trust slightly declines where the divorce occurs at age three to four. This is mostly associated with the mother’s inability to offer emotional support in cases of divorce in comparison to mothers who are in stable families (Fagan & Churchill, 2012). Mothers of divorced families also tend to offer relatively less affection and communication assistance to their children. Again, there are always higher possibilities for harsh and inconsistent punishment which makes the preschool child depict feelings of high insecurity (Fagan & Churchill, 2012). While all these occurrences are outcomes of divorce, the mother may not admit that things are not well with her or the children but rather lives on self-denial assuring herself that everything is well. There is nothing good about divorce, especially during the initial stages when all the parties are trying to adapt with the situation. The children are the most affected as they try to figure out what happened between their parents with preschoolers trying to think about their role in the occurrence.
In alignment with biological differences, boys are more hostile than girls in their response to the divorce progression, immediately and after years to come. This is made worse by the choice made on their behalf, to live with the mother, which is usually the case in most instances. Such boys depict the traits of aggression from a tender age and this becomes part of their development in the upcoming stages (Fagan & Churchill, 2012). Girls, on the other hand, would be better off staying with the mother than with the father. In cases where the children must stay with the father as the custodian, girls’ affection for their father diminishes significantly, a factor that may result in withdrawal and ineffective social relations in the future (Fagan & Churchill, 2012). The implication is that the consequences of divorce may vary with gender as depicted by the aggressive traits in boys and withdrawal in girls, factors that are dependent on the custodial roles after divorce.
While most divorce cases will lead to a nonresidential parent, particularly the father in 90% of the case, this has an adverse effect on the children. As such parents will rarely see their children, a factor that breaks the ties. Divorced fathers also tend to lose the nurturing character for their children and avoid contact with the child(ren), especially when legal custody favors the mother at the time of divorce. It is for these reasons that most fathers lack the opportunity to influence the attitudes and conduct of their children and this has an effect in the long run (Haimi & Lerner, 2016). Some boys who are distanced from their father, and who live with their mother as the custodian, tend to attach themselves with feminine roles as that is the main exposure they get when living with their mothers. Where the father is highly involved in the life of the child at the preschool stage, such a child depicts higher adaptability levels in challenging situations and performs better in school than one whose father neglected his role (Haimi & Lerner, 2016). However, most of the custodial mothers would wish to avoid their ex-spouses after divorce amidst the belief that there is no difference between a child who experiences the father’s presence at a tender age and one who does not.
In conclusion, children’s concerns have been neglected in the divorce process with parents exhibiting the belief that children will lead a normal life and develop normally even in the absence of one of the parents. Preschool children experience the severest biopsychosocial problems in the event of a divorce due to the premature nature of their cognition and the minimal abilities to regulate their emotions. These children experience high levels of stress as they are not capable of outsourcing financial and emotional support from the family resources. They also experience behavioral problems which escalate with time and extend to other life stages. Aggression is one of the behavioral traits observed in boys who live with their mothers after divorce. Girls who live with their fathers tend to be less affectionate to the father and this attribute escalates with time leading to detachment, not only from their father, but also the social world. Preschool children may also develop the hyperactivity disorder making it difficult to control their conduct in upcoming years. Other developmental problems caused by divorce include inconsistent roles where boys, particularly those under the mother’s custody, tend to adopt feminineness in their endeavors. The father’s absence in the preschool child’s life is also depicted in the child’s poor performance in school when time for schooling comes. The implication is that parents should consider the consequences of their conflicts and eventual divorce on the lives of their children, particularly preschoolers, whose development stage is quite critical due to the time required for some cognitive and emotive structures to mature.
References
Fagan, P. F. & Churchill, A. (2012). The effects of divorce on children . Marriage and Religion Research Institute. Retrieved from http://downloads.frc.org/EF/EF12A22.pdf
Haimi, M. & Lerner, A. (2016). The impact of parental separation and divorce on the health status of children, and the ways to improve it. Journal of Clinical & Medical Genomics, 4 (1), 1-7. Doi: 10.4172/2472-128X.1000137.
Nunes-Costa, R. A., Lamela, D. & Figueiredo, B. F. (2009). Psychosocial adjustment and physical health in children of divorce. Jornal de Pediatria, 85 (5), 385-395. Doi: 10.2223/JPED.1925
