10 Sep 2022

174

How Children Influence Their Parents

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Academic level: College

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When I was a little child, my family was the greatest influence on my development as I always sought guidance from my parents and elder sister. In everything I did, I wanted to impress my family and make them proud. As such, disappointing them was my worst fear. I followed my mother’s advice on being kind to others, believing in my abilities, and working hard in school. Additionally, I followed my sister’s counsel on how to stand up to children who tried to bully or intimidate me. Importantly, my father’s teachings on Christian values shaped my childhood faith. I believed in God’s protection, and that helped me overcome most of my fears. During teenagehood, my peers became my greatest influence as I yearned for approval from them in the bid to appear cool. The way I dressed, walked, talked, and the people I used to hang out with was all influenced by the approval of my peers.

When I went to college, I joined theatre classes, which changed my view of life a lot. Indeed, my instructor taught me a lot that altered my previous way of dealing with different life situations. For instance, I direct my emotions to do significant things such as writing a poem or acting instead of being religious about them like I previously did. Moreover, I am now more tolerant of people as well as the diversity in them. From the wide interactions in college and the different classes I have attended, I have gained a better understanding of the differences between people and learned the importance of tolerating divergent views.

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Research has established that parenting is vital to children development especially in the early stages of life (El Nokali et al. 2011). Particularly, adequate and efficient parenting often leads to good social skills and fewer problems in behavior. In contrast, the absence of parents during childhood often leads to the development of bad behavior as parents are the first teachers of a child. Parenting is, therefore, most important in the early stages of life since it is during this time that the mind of a child is developing. The environment in which one grows in affects his/her social relations and behaviors even when they are adults. This is because one’s behavior is dictated by what the mind has absorbed over time.

Sigmund Freud, often referred to as the father of psychology, came up with a theory that states that human behavior is dictated by the conscious and the unconscious mind (Bargh & Morsella, 2008). Notably, the conscious mind contains the things an individual has experienced and can remember while the unconscious mind comprises the experiences that one has forgotten or suppressed. On the other hand, the unconscious mind mostly holds memories from childhood that individuals are unable to recall. This memories, according to Freud, affect one’s behavior unconsciously. Indeed, this is what dictates how people unconsciously react to other individuals, things, and situations. Freud asserted that if someone were abused during childhood, that memory would affect their behavior and interactions with people even if they cannot remember it.

My parents were very much involved in my childhood and were always supportive in everything that I showed interest in. As such, they gave me the freedom to choose what I wanted for myself in addition to constantly reminding me that I am the best version of myself. This kind of upbringing impacted my view of the world as well as my social relationships. As a result, I have become someone who respects people’s freedom as well as their choices. I do not judge people for who they are, and I tolerate diversity. I am also not afraid of making decisions on my own as well as going for what I want in life. I once asked my mother who influenced her into becoming who she is and she told me it was her mother. Indeed, my grandmother was a doctor and a strong woman who went out of her way to help people just like my mother does. I asked my father the same, and he said his grandfather who was a church reverent influenced him into Christianity and living by faith. I too take a lot after my parents who have always been my idols. Role models, especially those close to someone, can influence one’s development.

References

Bargh, J. A., Morsella, E. (2008). The Unconscious Mind. Perspectives on psychological science: a journal of the Association for Psychological Science , 3(1), 73-9. doi: [10.1111/j.1745-6916.2008.00064.x]

El Nokali, N.E., Bachman, H. J., Votruba-Drzal, E. (2011). Parent Involvement and Children's Academic and Social Development in Elementary School. Child Development , 81(3), 988-1005. doi: [10.1111/j.1467-8624.2010.01447.x]

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StudyBounty. (2023, September 16). How Children Influence Their Parents.
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