6 Aug 2022

125

How to Deal With Your Feelings About Love

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Academic level: College

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Love is a set of emotional behaviors categorized by the intensity of passion, commitment, and level of intimacy between individuals. Love can also be describe as complete and utter devotion to both inanimate objects and animate beings ( Karantzas, 2020) . To some people, love is one of the most important human emotions one can experience and yet, there is little understanding of this broadly researched subject. For example, researchers have been involved in an intense debate of whether love is a biological phenomenon or a cultural influence ( Cherry, 2020) . In some way, love can be attributed to both settings because biological hormones fuel the attraction that can result in love while culture influences our perception of love. 

Love is associated with a range of both positive and negative emotions that can result in the conception of other minor emotions. For instance, seeing a loved one after a long period will activate emotions filled with excitement and joy. Simultaneously, seeing a loved one, especially a romantic partner giving affection to someone else, will arouse negative emotions such as jealousy and stress ( Nowakowski, 2017) . Love is credited to be the significant link between interpersonal relationships among people, hence facilitating species continuation. On the other hand, feelings are defined as the small constant mood changes when you are around someone you care for ( Karantzas, 2020) . Unlike love attributed to brain functionality, feelings are the psychological changes like increased heart rate and sweating. Love is also said to be more permanent as compared to feelings. 

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According to Biblical scriptures, there are four unique forms of love: Eros, Philia, Storge, and Agape . Among the four types of love, Agape is the highest in the hierarchy as it is the purest form of love from God to humanity ( Zavada, 2020) . This kind of love encourages empathy, kindness, and immense love for others, as demonstrated by God when he sacrificed his son. Storge is a type of love associated with allegiance and loyalty, like the love between siblings and other family members or their country's love. The Greek term "Philia' describes loves shared between people with deep friendship bonds (Gulla, 2020). Philia is the kind of love experienced in most platonic relationships bound by a common goal: schoolmates. Eros is the fourth type of love that describes intense emotions shared between romantic partners. This is also the most complicated type of love as the uncertainty of changing emotions is always looming over the partners. 

Love is a confusing ageless emotion that has existed and left people conflicted over the millenniums. Numerous songs and poetry have been composed to describe this emotion, yet people have always pondered the answer to the question, 'Do I love this person?' According to dating expert James Reece, despite the many similarities of people's experiences in relation, love is a unique feeling as everyone demonstrates it in their way ( Nowakowski, 2017) .. In addition, love is a special feeling because people's tastes and preferences vary; therefore, what some may value, others might not. Love can also feel like a roller coaster of emotions as it comes with vulnerability and intense attachments towards romantic partners ( Nowakowski, 2017) . The degree of vulnerability and passion influences the intensity of the feelings from exuberance to apathy. 

Scientists say that love is associated with a person's character development and lifestyle more than their genetics is involved. People exhibiting dark character traits like psychopathy and narcissism demonstrate love in negative forms. For instance, Mania is a type of love associated with obsessiveness over a person, escalating to stalking, and eventually physical and emotional harm. Dr. Gary Chapman, a modern relationship expert, identified and studied the five love languages essential in any relationship (Morgan, 2018). Acts of service is a love language associated with thoughtfulness on acts your partner would be thrilled of. Acts of service can range from foot rubs to sponsoring educational programs for your partner. Besides, some people appreciate affirmation as their primary love language, and not being affirmed might make them feel unloved (Morgan, 2018). Receiving gifts is a love language that often confused the crude term, 'gold digging' as statistics show that the female gender is more inclined to this love language than men. Quality time and physical touch are the most common love language as studies indicate the majority of the people in relationships. 

Romantic relationships can also be categorized into two major categories: passionate and compassionate love. The definition of these two types of romantic love answers the question, 'what is the difference between loving someone and being in love with them?' Passionate love is an intense form of love that comes with longing for your partner and involves very passionate feelings ( Nowakowski, 2017) . In contrast, compassionate love is a less extreme form of love that comes with deep attachment and intimate connections. Being in love with someone comes with great euphoric feelings that rekindle the excitement each time you see your partner. 

Nevertheless, love is also a responsibility that needs effort and proper cultivation to make it last. Love requires immense sacrifice, especially in accommodating and supporting your partner's flaws and imperfections. When you are in love with someone, you motivate them to be the best version of themselves while encouraging vulnerability and building trust and intimacy. Loving-Kindness-Meditation (LKM) is a meditation technique that involves complete relaxation of the mind reducing stress levels, and promoting self-acceptance (Raypole, 2019). This technique also involves thinking warm, affectionate thoughts of your partner while your mind is in a relaxed state. Another way of cultivating love and improving relationships is by effective communication even during times of conflict. Avoiding arguments entirely is not a healthy way of managing conflict. It leads to a pile-up of negative emotions waiting to be released in an unhealthy manner that could damage the relationship. 

There is no single way to express love as each relationship has its uniqueness, and people have different needs and wants. One can express their love towards their partner by offering unconditional support when needed, show physical and emotional affection, ensuring that they know that you care for them, and being willing to apologize and forgive quickly ( Raypole, 2019) . A loving partner also acknowledges and applauds their companion's efforts, reciprocates the loving energy given off by their partner, and prioritizes their feelings and emotions. However, all forms of love should have boundaries and limits to prevent it from becoming toxic. For instance, romantic love can evolve into possessiveness, leading to anger and jealousy that may result in domestic violence ( Raypole, 2019) . Knowing when to stop loving someone is a necessary precaution encouraged by feminists cite statistics on gender-based violence. Women are the majority of victims involve in love scenarios. 

Love is a strong emotion that impacts and improves the quality of health and life in general. The attachments and relationships we form with people can impact our lives both negatively and positively. For example, loving relationships have been associated with: 

Reduced risk of diabetes 

Improved energy levels and productivity 

Less risk of contracting heart diseases 

Lower stress levels 

Improve health habits 

Love also promotes emotional and mental health as the brain is triggered to produce hormones that induce feelings of joy and happiness (Morgan, 2018). A support system linked with love is one of the strongest bonds formed, and the chances of someone succeeding are very high compared to when people are connected through other means. 

Shakespeare once stated that the course of love is never smooth, and pitfalls are likely to happen. While love can be euphoric and enthusiastic, it can also bring about negative feelings like anxiety, heartbreak, and depression. Conflicts and misunderstandings are a norm because most relationships but the critical ability to solve them are what most people lack ( Morgan, 2018) . For example, ego and pride is the downfall of the most relationship as people do not like to take up the bigger person's role and initiate the reconciliation. All forms of love come with almost similar characteristics in the event of a heartbreak. Love is a chemical emotion stemming from the brain that influences other chemical processes associated with it. For example, heartbreak can cause intense feelings of sadness that later develop into medical conditions like depression that require medical intervention ( Morgan, 2018) . Studies show that certain factors like the longevity of a relationship also influence the degree of negative emotions one experiences. 

In conclusion, love is an array of emotions exhibited by people who have a deep connection and can be displayed and expressed in various forms. According to most people, love is among the most emotions a human can feel as it creates long-term connections that prove beneficial. The history of love begun during the era of mythologies. When gods married, birthed children, and fought wars for love, as shown in the Greek mythology about Helen of Troy. Love brings with it both positive and negative emotions depending on the context or situation. On the one hand, loving someone can bring your immense joy, while on the other hand loving this person has the power to stir negative emotions like anger and jealousy. Depending on the relationship's nature, love can be categorized into four forms, namely: Philia, Storge, Agape, and Eros. Agape love is considered the highest form of love as it involves a spiritual relationship between humankind and God. 

Eros is the romantic form of love that can be further classified into passionate and compassionate love. Romantic relationships are the most confusing as there is a high risk of rejections and uncertainties. In addition, studies indicate that successful relationships result from understanding your partner and the love language they respond to the most. One relationship expert compiled a list of five different types of love language after conducting multiple research surveys. Due to each relationship's uniqueness, one should focus on the best ways they could express love to their partners. Love can also be cultivated by engaging in thoughtful meditations that encourage your partner's positive thoughts, effective communication, and promoting healthy problem-solving conversations. Love is associated with improving the quality of life while reducing the risk of contracting some significant medical conditions. However, attachments and love-related relationships can end, bringing about negative feelings of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even anger. People exhibiting these negative symptoms are encouraged to seek proper medical assistance or resort to healthy coping mechanisms like going to the gym to reduce stress levels. 

References 

Cherry, K. (2020).  Is love biological or is it a cultural phenomenon?  Verywell Mind.  https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-love-2795343 

Gulla, E. (2020).  The 8 different types of love explained . Cosmopolitan.  https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a34896557/types-of-love/ 

Haywood, J. (2016).  Was Helen really to blame for the Trojan War – or just a scapegoat?  The Conversation.  https://theconversation.com/was-helen-really-to-blame-for-the-trojan-war-or-just-a-scapegoat-64456 

Karantzas, G. (2020).  What is love?  The Conversation.  https://theconversation.com/what-is-love-139212 

Morgan, C. (2018).  Learn the different types of love (and better understand your partner) . Lifehack.  https://www.lifehack.org/816195/types-of-love 

Nowakowski, A. S. (2017).  What does love actually feel like?  Elite Daily.  https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/love-actually-feel-like/2009501 

Raypole, C. (2019).  15 things about being in love vs. loving someone . Healthline.  https://www.healthline.com/health/being-in-love#signs-of-loving-someone 

Zavada, J. (2020).  Explore 4 different types of love in the Bible . Learn Religions.  https://www.learnreligions.com/types-of-love-in-the-bible-700177 

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StudyBounty. (2023, September 16). How to Deal With Your Feelings About Love.
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