In order to establish connections and relationships in the society, individuals need to be able to communicate. This means to pass messages from and to one another in the form of exchange. Communication, provided one is being understood can go a long way in cementing relationships, and interpersonal interaction provided the barriers and principles of good communication are known and practiced. Also, communication should be used in nearly all aspects of life so that it can be effective, for example in conflict solving. One should also possess emotional intelligence as a guide to being an eloquent and effective speaker. Various influences surround and help to shape communication such as gender and culture. Therefore, the versatility of communication and its dominant presence makes it an invaluable asset in creating and maintaining interpersonal relationships.
Communication lies in the ability to effectively exchange ideas and information. Interpersonal communication is the sending and receiving of messages between people and most of the time it if on a face to face level and is very instrumental for one to become a functioning member of society (Weaver & Hybels, 1986). There are various principles that surround effective communication, and also there are barriers to effective interpersonal communication. One of the basic principles of effective listening is the environment within which the communication is being made. The environment should be comfortable and devoid of things that can make the listener uncomfortable such as very high temperatures. If the people involved in the process of communication are friendly and sincere and are appreciative of others, it will be easier to communicate with them. Another important principle of communication especially when one is delivering a public address is having conviction in what is being said. Having confidence prompts the audience to listen and as such the message is delivered.
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One of the barriers to effective interpersonal communication is the use of jargon. Jargon is the words or vocabulary that belongs to a particular field that are considered difficult to understand, and it could also mean hybrid language. Most of the times when someone uses jargon, the listening party often finds it hard to understand them and eventually forms a negative attitude about the speaker. A negative attitude is another constraint to effective communication. If someone has a negative attitude, they often find it hard to look past the attitude to get the positive message of the speaker. Noise, cultural differences and differences of viewpoints are also contributors to dysfunctional communication.
Another barrier to communication is the use of poor non-verbal communication techniques. The majority of the messages sent are carried by the actions of our bodies ranging from the posture, tone of voice and the gestures we use. When giving a sad message in a euphoric tone, the listener often gets misplaced on how to consume the message hence can stop listening all the same and focus their attention elsewhere. Eye contact is key in communication since it makes one feel like they are being listened to. To overcome these barriers and be effective in communication, there is need to set the environment to be purposefully for information exchange or rather seeking a time and venue appropriate for the exchange. Also, for example in couples or family and even co-worker relationships, eye contact is vital as it shows attention and concentration hence effective interpersonal communication. Also by practicing the set principles of communication, one, in turn, oversteps the barriers of communication and delivers their message well and gets the feedback from the audience. Therefore, one should avoid such barriers so that they can well pass their message and be understood.
In building self-image, self-concept and self-esteem, communication can play a vital instrument. Communication helps us to get across to others, and if an individual can effectively practice the basic principles of communication and in turn avoid the constraints of effective interpersonal communication, they may, in turn, have a good opportunity interacting with those around them, and this serves a boost to how the individual views themselves. How people view, themselves is very important since it determines how they approach life. Through interpersonal communication, an individual talks with learns about and validates himself or herself (Azad, 2008).
Self-concept refers to the self-constructed idea that an individual has about themselves from their own thoughts and also from the response of others. Self-image, on the other hand, is the picture that one has about themselves with regard to their personality, abilities, and appearance. Self-esteem is the feeling of confidence in one's own abilities and talents. It can be synonymous to self-respect. All these concepts revolve around self-awareness and development whereby we get to define who we are from how we interact with others and from the feedback they give us. We interact with others through communication hence communication has a vital role in helping us develop our self-esteem, self-image, and self-concept. We interact on different fronts such as at religious platforms, political groups, ethnic groups and other social persons. In these, we meet people face to face and have communication whereby we compare ourselves to others to know where we stand. This comparison sometimes can be detrimental to your self-esteem since some comparisons are unrealistic and are sometimes taken beyond sane limits. If so happens, one may end up having low self-esteem.
However, when we interact with people who have more similarities with us, we often communicate effectively because of the commonalities, and as such, we build our self-esteem. Also, if all principles of communication such as honesty and sincerity are applied, one can get an honest feedback that helps them to change and develop a more positive self-image and self-concept. Therefore, it is advisable that individuals interact with people whom they have much in common with and not those who have exceeded them. Individuals can interact with their role models and superstars but just to learn from them and appreciate them but if people compare themselves to these other people, they may end up with low self-esteem. It is also recommended that individuals meet and mingle more with honest folk as they encourage themselves to be more honest in the process. Honesty begets honesty and forms the basis of good interpersonal feedback where one has the opportunity to correct and develop. However, negative people should be avoided as they can be used to demoralize and destroy a person's self-confidence in themselves.
When people communicate effectively, they can establish relationships. With relationships, there is the aspect of self-disclosure whereby someone can give information about themselves, especially personal information to another person (Sampthirao, 2016). There are some levels of self-disclosure that are considered inappropriate while there are those that are considered appropriate. To determine what is appropriate and what is not, one needs to have a high level of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability of an individual to recognize their own emotions and those of the people around them and to use this emotional information to instruct thinking and behavior.
Self-disclosure often goes hand in hand with how well the speaker knows the listener. Tying it with emotional intelligence can give a directive on what should be said, how it should be said and when. If self-disclosure is practiced in marriage, among close friends or between a counselor and the client, then it is very appropriate. Self-disclosure is among the building blocks of communication in marriage as an interpersonal relationship. It helps one to understand their partner better, why they engage in some activities and why they behave in a particular way. In co-working relationships, it enables to establish a basis of agreement, better knowledge of colleagues, therefore, a healthy working environment full of trust and sharing. However, when an individual offers information about themselves to stranger or people who are not at the same emotional level with them or people listening as a formality, it becomes inappropriate. That is why emotional intelligence comes into direct in whom should the information be shared with. It is also important to be certain that the information disclosed shall not be used be used to gain foul advantage or for blackmail. Emotional intelligence, therefore, gives emotional control as suggested by Bevan & Sole (2014), "Good emotional health enables you to be secure in your feelings, which means that you are less likely to be thrown off balance by your interactions with other people."
As people interact and live amongst each other, there is bound to be a conflict which can be described as a situation where two or more parties cannot reach an understanding concerning a certain issue. There are various means, techniques, and tools used in solving conflicts. Communication is among these, and it has proven to be less costly and very effective. There are various techniques in communication that can be used to solve interpersonal conflicts. Among them is being clear and direct. Among the many reasons why conflicts arise is because a message was misunderstood or misinterpreted. By being clear and direct, one avoids the incidences of misinterpretation or misunderstanding by not beating around the bush or using suggestive terms instead of being straight forward.
Showing empathy is another technique that can be used to solve conflicts. There is thought empathy and feeling empathy. With empathy, an individual puts himself or herself in the shoes of the other party and tries to feel as they are feeling. It is instrumental in showing the offended party that they are being understood and helps to reach an understanding even faster. Empathy brings in the aspect of gentleness such that the offended party is even able to calm down.
There is the diffusing technique that is used to address the anger of the offended party to help them cool down. The technique is very rational as it enables one to reduce the charge in the situation and diffuse the angry impulses so that there can be amicable ground for solving the problem. In the diffusing technique, one agrees with the offended party. When one knows that at some point you agree with them, the anger abates at the moment, and one can calm down enough to talk out an issue (Bellafiore, 2016).
Analyzing the impact of gender and culture on interpersonal communication
Gender is the social construction of a man, woman, boy or girl that is learned, dynamic and changes from one society to another. It is used as the tool by which one can be allocated their roles, behaviors, attitudes, attributes and responsibilities in the society. Culture, on the other hand, is the way of life of people in that it is the aggregate of their beliefs, practice, norms and customs. Culture determines the way people define themselves and how they interact with others. Gender is relational, hierarchical, systematic, learned, dynamic and context or culture specific. Gender dictates the differential relations that exist in the society especially between men and women thus shall instruct how men and women in the society shall interact. Culture too is used to define and control gender because as aforementioned, gender is culture-specific or society-specific.
In communication, gender and culture have a large role to play since they are institutions in the society and in one way or the other they influence all social actors. Communication is manifested in the facial expressions that we display, the language that we use and even in the body movement and expressions. These are dictated by both culture and gender. Gender as aforecited is used to assign attributes, responsibilities, attitudes, behaviors and roles to men and women. Men in the society are regarded as more of actors than speakers while women are thought of as emotional and expressive. Women are also known to demonstrate sympathy and empathy more than men who are supposed to be tough and not succumb to emotions. They are descriptive while men are short and straight to the point. In the event of communication, the woman is likely to share more than the man. She is likely to display affectionate behavior such as hugging or soothing more as compared to the man. For instance, if a couple sought the assistance of a marriage counselor to mend the paths of communication in the relationship, it is more probable that the woman shall explain the faults of the marriage in detail. She might end up shouting, screaming or crying, she may orchestrate an argument with the man just to get him to speak whereas the man may be calm, non-responsive or few-worded and less likely to display and emotions. This apparently breaks the line of communication between him and his wife and also between him and the counselor. This is so because society's culture does not expect to find a man who is emotional but one who is tough.
The gender attribute assigned to the woman is that she is sensitive while the gender attribute of the man is that he is tough. Women have a softer tone in communicating hence they pay attention to the underlying messages so as to create intimacy and establish bonds while men have the masculine edge in communication in interpersonal relationships. The message that appeals to the man is one that is task oriented. Therefore men are capable of showing sympathy while women can show empathy hence the battle of sexes lurks near all communication between men and women. Women are good with opinions because there is information geared towards a task in it but women are more interested in opinions. It is therefore not uncommon to find women gathered in places sharing stories about their experiences and problems while helping each other to come up with good solutions. Men cannot be found doing such since in their gangs and groups; they majorly discuss that which is thought of as manly like football and business. Culture ascribes football to the men while women get support groups. In a group of men and women, for example, core workers, one should be able to craft their mode of speaking and the vocabulary to be able to suit both the emotional and the tough at heart. The method of communication should reflect the attributes assigned to each gender: man and woman. In group settings and bearing this understanding, one is able to accommodate a diversity of opinions and behavior and through effective communication; one is able to channel the differences towards a better outcome (Ceglarska, Li & Chen, 2008). Thus it can adequately be deduced that culture and gender actively influence the way we communicate as we relate to others.
In conclusion, in establishing relationships and in interacting with other people, communication is an important tool. There is the need to learn the basic principles that revolve around good communication skills and the constraints that prevent people from getting the speaker clearly. Also, the success or failure of our communication endeavor can make build a mental picture and idea of who an individual is or who they would like to be. Self-image, Self-esteem, and self-concept are better built when the communication ventures engaged in are successful. When an individual employs all the basic principles of communication and avoids the barriers so that they effectively get their message across to others, they connect well and establish relationships with others thus boosting self-awareness and development. In the end, one has high self-esteem, good self-image, and a good self-concept. Depending on the relationship, there is a level that self-disclosure is considered not appropriate and there are instances when it is right. In order to well place these moments, one should be able to possess emotional intelligence to act as a directive. Also, good communication is instrumental in solving the conflicts that occur in everyday interpersonal relations. If one employs communication methods designed specifically for instances of conflict, they learn to help others, and themselves reach amicable solutions more easily and without struggles. Lastly, major forces behind communication in interpersonal relationships are culture and gender. These are the phenomena that surround individuals daily and influence the way people relate to the opposite gender and how to behave. These are the foundations of the rules for interaction and should not be ignored. All in all, communication is an invaluable asset.
References
Azad, A.K. (2008). Principles of Human Communication: Islam Perspective. RA Journal of Applied Research, 1(6), 227-231 Retrieved from: http://www.rajournals.in/images/ijararticle/v1-i6/3rajar.pdf
Bevan, J. L. & Sole, K. (2014). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication , (2 nd Ed.). Bridgepoint Education. [Electronic version]. Retrieved from: https://content.ashford.edu/
Ceglarska, E., Li, L. & Chen, K. (2008). How does culture and gender diversity impact communication in Project Teams. Kristianstad . Retrieved from: http://www.diva-portal.se/smash/get/diva2:231262/FULLTEXT01.pdf
Sampthirao, P. (2016). Self-Concept and Interpersonal Communication. The International Journal of Indian Psychology , 3 (3), 177-189. Retrieved from: http://oaji.net/articles/2016/1170-1463651532.pdf
Weaver, R.L. & Hybels, S. (1986). Communicating Effectively . New York, NY: McGraw-Hills Companies.
