Divorce has been a major concern in most societies and has sparked numerous debates and mixed reactions. Divorce is prohibited in the word of God, and the Scriptures discourage the separation of two married people. It has adverse effects on the society as a whole, the couples involved, and the kids of the separated partners. The primary objection of this essay is to look at how divorce affects the life of children and how these kids cope with the aftermath of their parent’s separation.
Perspectives on Family Values (Changing Families)
Change of family is an interruption to the respective parties such as children and the married couple as it entails various adjustments to their normal way of life. The effects of divorce are mainly harsh on children that are born out of financially unstable families. Single parenting is a daunting task that requires the guardians to have sufficient financial muscle to enable them take good care of their children. However, they cannot satisfy all their children’s needs financially as the kids also require the love and affection from both parents. Encouraging and supporting healthy marriages can be an important aspect in minimizing the rate of divorce cases, and this will go a long way in ensuring better upbringing of kids. The rampant increase of divorce has led to the increase of children who grow up in single-parent homes, and such kids mainly face various challenges while growing up. Various statistics show that children that grow in safe and intact families have enhanced chances of succeeding in life, unlike their counterparts who grow up in broken families. The high population of children brought up out of wedlock, and divorced families have become a major concern in the society because child poverty is inextricably bound to their family structures (Berlin, 2004). This does not mean that those raised up in single parent homes do not succeed either; however, the reality is that they have slim chances. Thus, marriage can be a permanent solution to this problem; hence, the respective bodies should encourage and give guides to people on how to maintain healthy marriage relationships.
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How Theoretical Frameworks Apply to Marriage
Theoretical frameworks are critical as they fabricate stronger and healthy marriage relationships. The first framework is the social exchange which is essential in helping individuals to maximize their benefits in marriage and minimize their costs. For instance; when a man and a woman are married, the woman takes the responsibility of taking care of the babies while the man takes the financial responsibility. The second framework is the structural-functional which is essential in pointing out the functions of a family in the society. Parents have an obligation to provide physical care to their children and control their social behaviors. For instance, they should regulate their kids' sexual behaviors and prevent them from engaging in criminal activities. Thirdly, conflict in a marriage relationship is a common menace and is mainly caused by competition between the married spouses. Competitions over resources are inevitable in marriage relationships; hence, it is critical that couples solve it amicably (Rubio, 2014). Marriages are often concerned about the resume values more than the eulogy virtues which in the end makes our lives miserable. Eulogy virtues are the ones that show our capability to love and have integrity, and that’s all that a good life entails. Marriage is a sacred institution and should be protected.
The Issues Involved in Parenting Relating to Remarriage, Divorce, or Blended Families
Planning for remarriage may seem like an easy task, but it brings about many factors that should be considered. First, it is significant that the remarrying couple finds solutions for any potential conflict and feelings from their previous marriages. In most cases, children will have feelings of anger as a result of the effects of divorce and lose hope that their paternal parents will reconcile. It is also important that the remarrying couple lay out solid financial plans and living arrangements. Marriage partners are expected to share most of their resources and channel their efforts into making their relationship work. Recent statistics show that married couples who embrace the one-pot system have higher marriage satisfaction than those that keep the resources separate (Rubio, 2014). Thirdly, anticipating parenting choices and changes is critical in marriage as parents can plan how they will take care of all marriage aspects. The importance of this exercise is to ensure that children are not caught up in the divorce menace such as the interference with the school work or even dropping out of school. It is also important to ensure that divorce cases are anticipated early enough so as to protect the children.
In the case of divorce, the respective parents will be forced to have financial agreements and arrangements on how they will take care of their kids’ basic needs. The separated couple must make critical decisions on their kids’ living arrangements and their parental roles (Lee & Bax, 2000). In the most cases, only one parent can be given the mandate to make important decisions about the well-being of his or her children while the other parent will be required by law to provide financial aid to their kids. It is common to see women remain with kids after divorce and the men having an obligation to support their children's' basic needs. However, various communities believe that children under the age of five belong to their mothers while kids above five-years-old belong to their fathers. When divorce happens in such a case, the women are left with the burden of caring for the children. In some cases, men fail to meet their financial obligations thereby affecting the children negatively.
The consequences and the processes of divorce
The implications of divorce on children are mainly based on various factors such as the genders of children, their age at divorce, and their families' characteristics. The recent researches on the issue of divorce reveal that children's responses to divorce have been contradictory (Fagan & Churchill, 2012). Mostly, the male children experience more problems than girls when adapting to the family separation. This is due to the fact that most societies think that the boy child does not need as much care as the girl child. The boys, therefore are left to without adequate care and in most cases they drop out of school. Age is also a determinant of the effects of divorce; children with higher ages develop more problems as a result of family separation as compared to those with young ages of 1-3 years. This is because older kids are used to their families been intact while the younger ones are not yet aware of their families' structures. However, if the separated parents work closely to provide financial, social, and emotional support to the children; they will lessen the impacts of family separation to their kids.
Divorce proceedings can be lengthy and tiresome to both the parents and the children as they tend to drain and exhaust the parties involved. In rich families, the process tends to be longer because the two partners always battle for the division of property. Thus, they spend more time in court, and the unsatisfied partner can refuse to sign the divorce papers if he or she feels that their grievances are not sorted. For instance, in most divorce cases the woman takes the house and other necessary things while the man is left with the rest of the properties. To reduce the impacts of divorce, it is important that the battling couple gets guidance and counseling from legal and religious institutions to ease their stress (Fagan & Churchill, 2012). Support groups and therapeutic programs are also essential in minimizing the adverse effects that divorce has on children. Therapeutic programs play significant roles in helping children cope and forget about the unfortunate separation of their parents. The peers who have undergone the same experiences can also offer significant bits of advice to the new victims. The children also need adequate guidance and counselling on how to handle their stress after the divorce of their parents. The effects of divorce are more prevalent on children than their parents. Children, in most cases, do not understand the reasons for the separation of their parents. They end up blaming one of the parents and in some cases develop a negative attitude towards them.
The Impacts of Divorce (on children, couple, family and society)
It is important to note that divorce has many adverse effects on the respective parties; thus, it has no or little advantage to the society. Just to mention one advantage of divorce, it saves the children from homes that experience unending domestic violence and gives them the peace of mind (Mohi, 2015). However, the disadvantages surpass the advantages leading to a final decision that it is indeed a bad thing. Divorce brings about massive changes to a child; the kid is forced to adapt going back and forth between his or her father's and mother's home (Gross, March 12, 2015). This scenario is common for older children who need the love and care of both parents. Children in the adolescent age experience more difficulties as compared to other age groups (Gross, March 12, 2015). Hence; they tend to become rebellious to one parent and rely on their favorite parent for all their needs.
Divorce also brings about health complications to the children of the separated parents. Children from wrecked marriages have higher risks of contacting physical conditions such as asthma and cancer (Jamison, 2009). This is because the children feel neglected and may engage in substance abuse with the aim to forget their unfortunate experiences and easing their stress. The recently concluded researches also show that children from divorced families die five years earlier as compared to those from intact families. Divorce also causes mental disorders such as depression; children who find it difficult to adapt to their new ways of life tend to over think and end up being depressed. In the long-run, they might experience obesity, decreased or increased appetites for food as a result of too much stress. Research also shows that the health problems on kids end after their parents reconcile and reunite. In most cases, children from divorced marriages turn to drugs as a way of managing stress. Continues drug abuse later leas to addiction which impacts the rest of their life negatively. In severe cases, drug abuse leads to death.
Children from families with domestic wrangles have underperformed in schools as compared to those from intact families. Thus, divorce worsens the situation because when children feel the adverse effects of their parents' separation, they find it quite hard to focus on their academic studies. Hence, their grades are likely to drop, and the children are also on the verge of dropping out of the education systems due to various factors such as financial constraints. The recent psychological and sociological surveys reveal that children suffer severe emotional harm silently and these effects may escalate to extreme levels if not tackled at early stages (Odenweller, 2014). Frequently, the effects of divorce on children are noticed by teachers, and one does not require the first-hand preview to learn that a particular child is undergoing challenging experiences.
Despite saving people from a bad marriage, divorce also debilitates the society; for instance, the divorced partners are likely to become impoverished with their kids. Such people develop psychological conditions such as stress and depression, and in the long-run, these effects reflect in their decreased rate of social development. The family is also adversely impacted due to the separation of the members; hence, the nuclear family structure is wrecked. As a result, the members especially the children are deprived of social, psychological, and financial support. These effects are behind the increased population of children who do not attend schools and those who drop out of learning institutions. Divorce breeds poverty in the society because mostly women and children are forced to endure hardships with fewer resources that they gain from the process (Bernardi & Radl, 2014). Thus, minimizing cases of divorce can go a long way in reducing poverty circumstances that are induced by the process. Conclusively, divorce is a bad thing, and it exposes children to sufferings and many difficult circumstances. Thus, the society should come up with alternatives of divorce and create a community that respects marriage.
References
Bernardi, F., & Radl, J. (2014). The long-term consequences of parental divorce for children’s educational attainment. Demographic research, 30, 1653-1680.
Lee, C. M., & Bax, K. A. ( 2000). Children’s reactions to parental separation and divorce. Pediatrics and Child Health, 1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2817796/.
Fagan, P. F., & Churchill, A. (2012). The effects of divorce on children. Marriage &
Foulkes-Jamison, L. (2009). The effects of divorce on children. Clinical Psychology Associates of North Central Florida. Gainesville Family Magazine.
Mohi, G. W. (2015). Positive Outcomes of Divorce: A Multi-Method Study on the Effects of Parental Divorce on Children.
Odenweller, B. (2014). Does Parental Divorce Have an Effect on a Child's Education? Religion Institute, 12, 1-48.
Berlin, G. (05/2004). The Effects of Marriage and Divorce on Families and Children. MDRC, 1. http://www.mdrc.org/publication/effects-marriage-and-divorce-families-and-children
Rubio, G. (February 2014). How Love Conquered Marriage: Theory and Evidence on the Disappearance of Arranged Marriages. University of California, Merced, 1-78. http://faculty.ucmerced.edu/grubio4/Job_market_paper.pdf
Gross, D. G. (2015, March 12). The Impact of Divorce on Children of Different Ages.
